‘Love’s Chain Cannot Be Broken’

“If I fear to hold another to the highest goal because it is so much easier to avoid doing so, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” (Amy Carmichael)

I have been thinking about different women in the bible, women whose love knew the cost of emotional sacrifice; who, despite deep trials, loneliness and pain, possessed an inner beauty with a sweetness no fragrance could portray.  I think of these servants of long ago and feel privileged in knowing and supporting the special women who serve in Emanuel Hospice, Casa Grace and Iochebed. They are set apart in a service that certainly demands sacrifice. 

In this age of uncertainty, thousands of Ukrainian refugees, displaced marginalised children and orphans, the families of Casa Grace, the Roma families of Iochebed and the patients of Emanuel Hospice have choices to make and many fear the outcome where there may not be a tomorrow.  Their future has been taken from them, replaced with a hidden fear.  For them, it will take courage to love again.  Love has caused them to sacrifice all they once held dear.  I write with a startling accuracy that disturbs my peace; I have had to stop writing on occasions as I couldn’t continue. As I wrote, I felt the weight of despair, the sense of banishment and I wept. Real people who fulfilled the role of a son, daughter, husband, wife, grandfather, grandmother, babies … they are treasured by someone.  Elizabeth Prentiss wrote:  

‘If you could once make up your mind in the fear of God never to undertake more work of any sort than you can carry on calmly, quietly, without hurry or flurry, and the instant you feel yourself growing nervous and like one out of breath, would stop and take breath, you would find this simple common-sense rule doing for you what no prayers or tears could ever accomplish’.  

A little boy of seven has been filled with fear these past months knowing that life will never be the same without his beloved Mummy. He is afraid to attend school in case his Mummy would be gone on his return.   Since my last update, Mariaora’s condition continued to deteriorate and a few days ago the Lord called her Home. They have no father as Mariaora raised her children alone after the death of her beloved husband.  There are four young children now alone, left without a beloved Father or Mother.  Mariaora’s daughter, who has carried the burden of knowing her Mum would not recover, will soon celebrate her eighteenth birthday and will resume the full and total responsibility of caring for her three siblings.   Two brothers who suffer from tetra paresis, one who is permanently confined to a wheelchair and the youngest brother of seven.   Four young children sit in disbelief, the pain on their little faces is deep as they try to focus on a future without the security of a loving Mother.  They are comforted knowing that their Mum remained close to the Lord and has no more pain.  The reality of days, weeks, months, years ahead seem insurmountable just now.  We will carefully monitor this situation in a life that will be so different for these precious children.  We will also continue to ensure food is available from our Feeding Programme.  All that ever was will never be the same again.  Mariaora loved her children dearly and wanted to live.  It was not her choice.  The children mattered to Mariaora; they matter to the Lord; they should matter to us.

Today, I was reading the feeding of the five thousand and how there was still enough remaining to fill twelve baskets. I know the baskets were filled with crumbs but they were full.   The aim of my Feeding Programmes is to keep the baskets full to feed the hungry but also to feed the hungry with the Bread of Life.   I am challenged as I read: ‘Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins?  And not one of them is forgotten before God.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered’.   I never cease to give thanks for those who share my passion.  Children left without parents, elderly grandparents still mourning the death of their precious little Daniel and many more left only with the fragment pieces of what once was; the best is gone.  Help me to help them find the One who will never leave them.

Timotei diagnosed with cancer. Timotei’s brother (Florin) was in our care for many years; he has now relapsed. The family are totally broken. The mother is lost, no words would describe the level of her personal pain. Another family engulfed in the darkness of sickness, poverty with no hope to hold on to.  We know there is a hope that can lift a weary head and a hope that strengthens the weak.  ‘Hope in the midst of shadows. One of my husband’s publications.

The results from Kevin’s scan confirmed he has relapsed. There has been no positive response from the consultant as the team of doctors need to assess the next level of treatment which will involve a difficult procedure in the future.

A little boy of seven and a little sister of four hold the hand of their precious little sister.  They do not fully understand the reason Vicki (3) is unable to play with them.   The petals continue to fall from this tiny, fragile rose. Her tiny body knows only pain.  Vicki is unable to walk as the stages of advanced cancer attack this small and fragile frame.   Her condition is getting worse every day.  Her young parents are devastated, knowing the parting will be unbearable.  A young mother’s heart is broken, as her precious Vicki will never become an adventurous teenager; all that will remain will be three years of memories for her alone to hold. 

A message from Estera: Thank you for giving to these precious people through the Feeding Programme who have little or (sometimes) nothing to eat. 

As I try to continue to write, my heart cannot comprehend the disappointment, the testing, the weariness of the journeys of these adult patients.  Methinks:  I wonder how many tears have fallen?  How many tears remain undried?

Ramona (41) was diagnosed with cervix cancer one year ago.  She prayed that surgery would save her life. In consultation, it was confirmed that due to the growth of the tumour, lifesaving surgery was not a possibility. Ramona has five children, three girls and two boys aged between ten and twenty-one.  Ramona did commence chemotherapy, believing the Lord would heal her. Sadly, Ramona has lost her battle and was called home into the presence of the Lord two weeks ago, leaving behind her husband, and five children.  She prayed until her final breath the Lord would heal her.  The family are broken.  ‘Until that day’.

Florian (45) is a patient with tongue cancer. To sip a glass of water is virtually impossible as he has difficult in swallowing.  Florian is cared for by his mother who has many health issues herself.  The patient was raised in a family dedicated to the Lord, but always hesitated in making a decision to follow the Lord.  After this diagnosis which came suddenly and unexpectantly, he decided to surrender his life to the Lord. His mother is amazed how he rejoices through his pain and suffering.  I ask you to pray that Florian’s end of life will be without pain and the he will be promoted to Glory peacefully.  May his precious mother know strength. 

Ioan (90) is a patient with an exulcerated sinus tumour.  Ioan also suffers from dementia which is now in a very advanced stage. He has no living relatives with the exception of one niece who takes care of him. This elderly gentleman is in a state of unconsciousness and is mostly alone in his apartment.  The only people who visit are his niece and our Hospice team.  At times our team try to communicate with him but it is difficult to know the level of his understanding. We accept as a team this is one of the cases where it seems little can be accomplished but we know that Ioan is precious in the eyes of our God. As my tears fall for this precious elderly gentleman, please whisper his name in prayer.

Elena is a patient with gastric cancer, currently under chemotherapy. The treatment is very harsh; she has days in which she vomits most of the food she is able to consume. The Hospice team supported her during the treatment, trying to control the symptoms of both the treatment and the illness.  She is now fed mostly by perfusions which takes approximately three hours each day; her body is now refusing to process food.  

A message from AdrianaPray for our adult patients that we may minister to them with the love of the Lord.

Many of us are unacquainted with poverty and, for some, even suffering. The apostle Paul penned: ‘I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities.’ My adopted son, Andrei shared a case study with me; it moved me to tears: Andrei writes: ‘One of my students, Alex (16) is living with his mother and younger brother of eight and grandmother in Vigna, a village near Arad; the father left his wife and children. The elderly grandmother is ill and the only one working is their mother. Alex has hearing difficulties with a disability of being unable to wear hearing aids.  Their financial and social status is extremely poor. Alex is very careful with money; he purchased a photo printer to enable him to print photographs to assist in the financial running of this small village home.  He also works in the village cutting grass and helping where needed. Alex is meticulous and with every leu he spends – he does not spend money on what is not urgently required.  They live in a gypsy neighbourhood where their windows have been broken on many occasions.  They have had to replace the windows (yet again), invest in the building of a high wall with a video camera for protection.  This was not a luxury but an urgent requirement of safety for the family.  They have been forced to take a loan from the bank in order to proceed.  The father refuses any contact and does not contribute to the welfare of his children.  A gift we can offer is the promise of our gracious Lord that His grace is sufficient.  Pray Alex and his family accept this gift into their lives. I pray every day ‘Lord, teach me to love’.  If I am to truly serve, I must serve even the paths not of my choosing.  Let us show this young man the true meaning of love. 

A message from Pastor Andrei As the work in my home church continues to grow, the work of ‘The Farm’known as the Ferma Church weighs heavy on my heart.  Two young ladies and one young man from the church are working with children.  Every Wednesday approximately fourteen children gather. Their interest and enthusiasm to participate in the leisure time, learning Bible verses, singing songs and listening to the Word of God is encouraging. Thirty children also attend our weekly children’s meeting in Sofronea.

Last month I updated you regarding Andreea.  I quote: 

Andreea (20) lives in fear as a storm of oppression continues to sweep through. Iochebed paid for a recent scan which confirmed she is twenty weeks pregnant with twin boys.  Her tears were uncontrollable when she received the news as her boyfriend is refusing to support her. Andreea does not know how she will manage now that she has been scorned by one, she trusted and loved.  Yes, fear is real!  The following days were filled with oppression resulting in Andreea becoming ill and hospitalised. The doctors are now fearing the risk of an early labour which could present complications

Andreea now has given birth to twin boys, born prematurely with a lower weight than normal.  The condition of the babies is one of concern and they will remain in hospital for a long period of time.  Andreea sits alone in a dark corner of need.  Please pray that in her spiritual darkness she will find the One who can remove all darkness and give her a new beginning with her twin boys. 

Sorina has two children and suffered a miscarriage at the beginning of May.  She confessed on hearing the news of a third pregnancy she became upset as she didn’t feel ready for another child. The last child was born prematurely and had several health issues. Dark clouds of fear are covering her path as she feels the miscarriage is a punishment from God because in her heart it was an unwanted pregnancy. Sorina needs to be released from these thoughts that torture her weak mind.

 Claudia is Mum to two little girls aged seven and six. They are homeless and at present living in a shelter for homeless people.   She came to Iochebed totally desolate and two hungry little girls by her side.  Claudia had no means to feed her children.  As our team listened to her story, a hot meal was provided. The father of the girls deserted them; Claudia initially moved back to her parents.  However, they have only two rooms where her parents and her ill grandmother live with one of the girls.  We advised her to go to her village to search for a room or a house and we will pay the rent. After searching for a long time for even one small room, she went to the mayor who was unwilling to assist, refusing to become involved.  Please pray that God find them a place to stay together.

 Tabita (37) is a faithful mother to her four children aged nineteen, eighteen, nine and three.  She is now twenty-seven weeks pregnant, having previously suffered a miscarriage.  Last week, she had an ultrasound where it was confirmed that the fetus has malformations in the heart, brain, feet and a suspicion of Trisomy 18.  The consultant told Tabita there it is a high probability that the baby will not survive after the birth. Tabita is in total shock. Her trust is in God alone, praying and trusting the baby will be normal. 

Alexandra gave birth last week to her first baby.  A healthy baby girl weighing 7lbs 4ozs. Unfortunately, she has lactation problems. Alexandra wants to breastfeed but has serious pains caused by the wounds and feels overwhelmed. May God give her strength and heal her both in body and mind.

A message from Gabi: Everything is in His hands; we are glad to be together in this ministry with you.  May the Lord guide us together so that His name be glorified.  I am touched and I thank God for you and your heart that is always ready to help. 

As I share my next case study, I find myself asking the Lord to intervene in what speaks to me of ‘hopeless situations’.  Where shall I start?  Where do I begin?  During the month of May the poverty soared throughout the Roma villages.  Hard issues of life sadly are a day-to-day reality for these families who huddle together just to keep warm with little or no food or indeed furniture.  Perhaps a Mushroom field is as soft as a settee?  Monika felt so overwhelmed, Casa Grace transported food, hygiene, clothing, furniture, toys, pushchairs; the list goes on. The level of poverty is unspeakable. We decided to go a little further even into the neighbouring villages where many Roma families also reside. The poverty had to be seen to be believed.  Lack of employment but more importantly, the lack of the Lord Jesus in their pale faces and searching eyes.  We have also been contacted by families who were on our programme previously.  They are struggling with rising costs, medical problems where great expense is incurred.  No money for medication or much needed medical examinations.  As I think on these things, I feel uneasy and must continue to possess the awareness that there are those who know hunger and who live in fear of eviction.    Please pray that I may know godly wisdom and guidance as we together as a team prayerfully consider our next step.  

A message from Monika:  I wish I could greet you once again and feel your heartbeat.  I miss the light you spread to our families; you tread so softly. You are missed. We long to meet again.

A new family was recommended to our team at Casa Grace by a schoolteacher of the oldest daughter.   This family is comprised of two girls aged eleven and one.  Both girls have two different fathers. The mother drives her oldest daughter to school as she is unable to walk or be left unattended.  Her recent partner displayed signs of drug abuse. Therefore, the family were forced to move to another town where they were given the opportunity to live with a cousin of the mother.  A wise decision where both families could share the expenses of the rented apartment.  Sadly, the oldest girl is being abused at school by other children owing to her disability.  The team at Casa Grace have stepped in and funded Psychology sessions.  The reports have been encouraging as the young girl is making progress and beginning to feel better about herself.   In fact, we feel the mother would also benefit from Psychology treatment, as she maintains a distance from our team even though we are sympathetic to her situation. The father of the oldest girl is in contact but the father of the baby wants no communication whatsoever.  The mother was forced to use the majority of her maternity allowance in order to pay for rent and bank payments on a car.  The car is not a luxury, it is a requirement, as the oldest girl suffers from a severe back disability and must wear a special corset to enable her to walk.  Last month the family could not afford to change the garment as they had no surplus money. The support of food and hygiene products is a blessing to them. We pray there will be a change in attitude and that their hearts will come to know the Saviour.  

A message from Neli:  We miss you a lot, Mari and I send our love and entrust you into God’s hand. 

Dana, supervisor of the Vocation Training Room, is both imaginative and inspirational.  We have many students studying our three modules yet one girl has entered Dana’s heart.  Debora (17) comes from a large family of girls.  The family are modest in their dress with impeccable behaviour. Dana soon recognised Deborah’s ability and has made quality time for this young student.  Through her intense training Deborah is now able to make her own wardrobe and has assisted her family by making each one of her sisters a personal dress.  I received pictures of all the dresses and I was amazed at her ability, displaying modern designs of frills around the hems of the dresses etc. Sisters Berta and Dana are dedicated to train the girls and ladies.  All who enter the tailoring course are taught with attention to detail.   I pray as they minister practically and share the gospel over their ‘break time’ the Lord will be glorified.

A message from Dana:  I am thankful to the Lord for all our students.  I thank the Lord for using Sister Berta and I to impact these lives for His glory.  God bless all those who through Tell Romania maintain the successful running of this ministry.

I close with a heaviness of heart, all these pages represent real people, real lives.  I look back on my own life. Yes, there have been shadows, pain, loneliness, but I have known unfailing love and sustaining grace.  I know the One who is Saviour; Redeemer; Comforter, Healer; Provider and most of all – Friend.  Can we be a friend to One today?

‘Let us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties. When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and grow the stronger. Let it be so with us. Let us not be weaklings, yielding to every wind that blows, but strong in spirit to resist.’

(Amy Carmichael)

Shirley, May 27, 2022.

42 B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

The Broken

Neither go back in fear and misgiving to the past, nor in anxiety and forecasting to the future; but lie quiet under His hand, having no will but His’ (H.E. Manning)

I find myself longing for a ‘quiet place’, a place where the Lord can read the perplexity of my heart.  The media brings to our attention disturbing situations, I listen, I think, but I haven’t been there!  Do I know the quietness of an empty house; laughter replaced by a deafening silence.  Unexpected events have changed my agenda, giving me time to examine my stewardship and commitment to those whose lives know only brokenness and sorrow.  They know not the true meaning of ‘quietness’ they have no ‘quiet place’, no home, they walk on, surrounded by shadows of darkness. They need a place of shelter, of rest, to be rescued from dangers seen and unseen.

Fear is real, in fact for many it is part of their personality.  Young girls living in life-threatening conditions, yearning to belong, to matter to someone, to know what it is to be loved.    I am reminded by the Psalmist that the Lord is our personal comforter through all the trials of life.  He is a God whose heart is filled with compassion, a heart that can provide an inner relief and a lasting peace as nothing else is able to do. 

Andreea (20) lives in fear as a storm of oppression continues to sweep through.  Iochebed paid for a recent scan which confirmed she is twenty weeks pregnant with twin boys.  Her tears were uncontrollable when she received the news as her boyfriend is refusing to support her.  Andreea does not know how she will manage now that she has been scorned by one she trusted and loved.  Yes, fear is real!  The following days were filled with oppression resulting in Andreea becoming ill and hospitalised. The doctors are now fearing the risk of an early labour which could present complications. 

Sabina yearns to be understood and accepted, she feels alone and unwanted.   One of her children suffers from a brain disorder, demanding twenty-four hours of careful monitoring.  Sabina came to Iochebed requesting a pregnancy test which confirmed she is nine weeks pregnant.   She fears this new life could be born with the same brain disorder.   Pray Sabina will be delivered from her overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks, placing her trust in the One who will deliver her from all fear.

 Paula (22) has a little girl of four years of age.  During the past four years she has suffered two miscarriages leaving her filled with the fear of loss.  She too came requesting a pregnancy test – Paula is seven weeks pregnant.  She confided that she fears the loss of a third pregnancy and asked us to pray for her. May God touch her young life and give her the assurance that: ‘Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul “Therefore I hope in Him!”’ (Lam. 3: 22-24)

Dina is one of our older mothers (40); she gave birth to a baby boy on 6th April 2022. During the birth she was very weak and feeling sick. After various tests the doctors detected a strong anaemia, giving cause for concern.  Dina remains in hospital for further investigations and treatment. She is unable to feed her baby and has requested us to pray, knowing the Lord is the only one who can lift the shadows of fear and discouragement.

Still, they come, those who live in the shadows trying to hide the scars of life.  They question: ‘Will it ever change; will I ever get things together?’  Pray that through the love shown by Gabi, Mahilia and Loredana, lives will come to know the One who can heal and restore the bruised, the broken.  He stands with healing hands outstretched.

UPDATE ON ISABELLA FROM GABI:

Isabella (14) underwent surgery on Tuesday, March 29, 2022.  She has now been discharged from hospital.   The heart surgery was successful by the mercy and grace of God.   Isabella, her mother and the entire family wish to acknowledge and thank all who donated to make the surgery possible.   ‘Thank You’.

Poverty is a form of suffering; many are tormented, worn out from anxiety and fear as they count their last penny.  I still envisage in my mind the image of an elderly lady trying to balance the essential grocery list against her urgent medical requirements. She was dying from cancer and had little or no money to buy her medication.   I had to ask myself if I do not love the poorest of the poor then how can I say I love the Lord?  As I quietly placed a gift on the wooden plank across her zimmer which acted as a table, she kissed the ‘plank’. Love is kind. 

Reka (10) is lovingly cared for by elderly grandparents.  They are a devout Hungarian family who take this role very seriously. Casa Grace was contacted by a teacher from her school stating that although Reka is learning well, they feel it would be vital for us as a Foundation to offer help and assistance to this family.  Reka’s mother relinquished all responsibility as she is in another relationship; her grandparents are her only family and have cared for her since she was a baby.  Reka suffers from chronic asthma and has many problems; her grandfather suffered a serious heart attack. Grandma, although in poor health herself, cares for a disabled person as their pension is insufficient. We viewed the case study and after all documentation was received, a decision to assist them was passed.   It was a moving experience for Monika to visit with them in their sparce, simple home.   Tears dropped onto the wooden table as they thanked us for the food and hygiene support. ‘When I was hungry ….’ Thank you for removing the blackness of despair, offering hope through your monthly support of our Feeding Programmes.   

Maria is in the twelfth grade and first in her class but finances fall short of requirements. As a family they live in a small house where conditions are totally unacceptable. It is in total disrepair and the conditions are unbelievable. Maria’s mother suffers from a severe disability, while her grandmother suffers from chronic depression and her great grandmother is also both very elderly and ill. Maria attends the catholic church. Her mother has lived a life filled with hardship and grief and although suffering from a disability in her leg she works part time. Grandma is grieving as her son lost his battle with cancer and her heart is broken. Her husband was an alcoholic and sold their apartment forcing them to move to this inadequate place. The great grandmother is very weak. Maria knows only sadness and has no stability in her young life.  What hope is there for Maria?  Her future is unknown, her days are consumed with sadness, poverty and uncertainty.  Will you reach out in love through the darkness to this young life?

Deep waters of hardship, hunger, pain, sorrow, weakness, shattered dreams and broken promises.  They need a sense of belonging. Pray that through the love shown by our team at Casa Grace, precious lives will know the true and real meaning of ‘belonging’.

My friend Dora has served hundreds of marginalised and unloved children who need to feel worthy of love and being loved.  She writes: ‘Working with abandoned children, children from the community with disabilities you come to know that apart from “professionalism” one needs to love.  Loving a special child is opening a door to them.  Patience and love will open a closed door of unacceptance to therapy; children who cry, vegetate, will see that love changes circumstances. Smiling, patience will improve their quality of life.  If no one else cares we care.   Not all children are the same or have the same potential.  A lot depends on the diagnosis, the time when they commence therapy and one must not ignore the genetic aspect. All of them have one special need, the need to be loved. It is good to take time to analyse that love is a requirement as is eating, drinking, sleeping. Love can change behaviour, a person and a life… Let us love in practical ways, not just by word.  Love can change the world; love can change those around us’.

The Vocational Training Room, under the excellent care of Dana and Berta, continues to impact lives and families.   Time and patience is a ‘must’ whether the module is beginner, distinguish or advanced.  The students are very interested and are making excellent progress in the field of tailoring and craft.   Many come from large families who feel privileged in being taught this vital skill, which enables them to make clothes for their siblings and the extended family. The girls are very grateful to the Lord for this opportunity.   It is both vital and important when one struggles to feed hungry mouths.

UPDATE ON MARIANA FROM MONIKA:

Mariana is waiting to be called for further tests scheduled during August.  Reconstruction surgery is postponed until all tests take place and results received.

The fear of sickness, death is a fear many harbour silently in their heart.  Fears differ as do people, since they come from different backgrounds and lifestyles.  I find it difficult each month to share the circumstances surrounding my precious patients (young and elderly) within the work of Emanual Hospice.  The pain in my heart is real and I pray that the sweetness of the One who is unseen will watch over the lonely, the frail and the dying.  Today is ours, but what of tomorrow?  For many their tomorrows are limited.

Last month we wrote: Nicolas (4) a new patient, also diagnosed with cancer. Pray for him, as he will require urgent surgery to remove a tumour. Further information regarding his condition will be confirmed following surgery and biopsy results.  Little Nicolas was moved to Bucharest where surgery was performed last week. Sadly, the doctors were unable to remove his tumour. They await biopsy results. Pray for his young parents as they struggle with the agony of waiting. 

Cornel (61) diagnosed with pulmonary neoplasm, is now in the terminal phase, cared for by his loving wife. He does not always recognise her as he also suffers from cerebral metastasis. He does not receive any income from the state.   They are part of the Tell Romania Feeding Programme.   This precious couple are so grateful for the food provided for them. No one should die alone, hungry and without love.  Thank you for assisting us in granting dignity to precious people during their final days.

Kevin is precious to many of you His MRI is showing a slow growth in the tumour and we wait in anticipation for a consultation outlining the next stage.   Kevin has been a patient of Emanuel Hospice since infanthood.  Gabi is concerned, please pray for her as she misses her beloved husband (Robi) and is fearful for the future. 

Lili (50) is a patient with gastric cancer and ileostomy. She fought the illness for several years; recently the doctor confirmed she will have no longer than three months to live.  Upon receiving this devastating news, she has fallen into a state of depression as she waits to die. Her faith in God is strong and she tries to accept that the Lord does not stretch out his hand of healing to all of his people. She confided in Adriana that one of the most difficult things will be to say goodbye to her beloved husband and her two children, Naomi (20) and Andrei (17). She is discouraged as her brothers and other relatives do not believe in God. The fact that she is not getting better has caused them to reject God even more. 

Julianna (58) suffers from cervix cancer. Her husband was baptised approximately twenty years ago, but she always delayed the decision. Since becoming ill, she has been tormented by her wasted years away from God and wants to be baptised. We pray her decision will be granted and that she will find forgiveness and peace. We also pray her two children will find their Lord in a very personal way and find comfort after the death of their beloved mother.

Stela (57), also diagnosed with cervix cancer, became sick following the sudden death of her husband three years ago.  Her son and daughter-in-law were baptised recently and Stela is not far from the Kingdom of God. Pray that she will eventually make a decision and lay her life on the Altar of Grace.  Pray as this illness evolves that Stela will come to know ‘The Lord is my portion’. 

It is with sadness and regret we find many of our patients only turn their face to God on their death bed.  May they know the true meaning of Saving Grace’ and true repentance.  Eternity is real. 

The refugee crisis continues. Our workers and volunteers are growing tired, yet the work is maintained. Monika and Gabi continue in their roles as Director of Casa Grace and Iochebed yet found the time to be involved in sending one tonne of food to the Ukraine a few days ago.  Pastors Catalin, Ovi, Andrei working as pastors also serve within the confines of their respective churches to care for the refugees.  Alex, taking food, medicine, clothing, bedding to Moldova.  Pray for them.

Catlin, a former student of my husband, in fact one of the first two students from Romania to enter the Irish Baptist College, writes: 

Nikolai pulled his car in front of our church building just as we were almost driving away after the midweek prayer service. He saw the banner and stopped to ask for help. He was exhausted and stressed after driving from Kyiv to Bucharest in order to help some of his children find their way into Europe. His house in Kyiv was broken into and he was now going back to his wife and other children. He was very thankful to be able to wash, sleep and eat in our church accommodation.  

Iacob and his son Eldar came to stay in our church basement from Chernovtsi while his wife and other three children were located in another part of the city nearer Suceava. He shared with us how God miraculously helped him cross the border and how grateful he is for all the help the Ukrainian people are receiving in Suceava. He also shared with us of the atrocities committed by the Russian army, some of which we found unbelievable.

One of our local Christian mayors organised a barbecue for all the refugees who were able to be transported to his location. After the barbeque they were exposed to the Gospel message preached by one of our guests. The Holy Spirit worked in the heart of at least one soul who came forward requesting prayer. 

The drama of many displaced Ukrainian families continues, as many are boarding the trains in Suceava in order to reach their destinations. Our prayer is that their final destination will be in the arms of our loving Lord Jesus, the only place where they can find real refuge and shelter.  

In response to my opening quotation from H. E. Manning.  May I with unhesitating obedience keep a quietness of spirit and whisper ‘Yes Lord’.

Shirley

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

Why?

Another month, another blog. Cries of sorrow and lives crushed by affliction, heartache and hardship cause me to walk another mile. My journey seems far from over!  One word dominates my thinking: Why?’    Irene Webster-Smith, missionary to Japan, took as her life verse, three simple words: ‘Everything by prayer’ (Phil 4: 6).  The Lord’s will governs all, events seen and unseen; the hush of silent Ukrainian refugees facing the unknown; the hungry, the unwanted and abandoned child; the widow; the dying. Regarded perhaps by many as ‘second class’ people, these are my neighbours; their scars have left a lasting impression on my heart and whatever I do to the least of these, I must do it as ‘unto Him.’. 

Hearts are broken, in fact, changed forever. The unending blows of the hammer are heavy as they pound unyielding strikes of suffering.  The wounds are raw and deep, physical wounds, wounds of a broken heart, wounds of fear, wounds of war that will never fade, even with time.  The silence of darkness is a reality as the forsaken and those facing impossible situations question: ‘Where do I start?’; ‘What shall I do?’; ‘Does anyone care?’; ‘All that ever was, will it ever be again?’.  I am reminded of the words found in Psalm 46: 10 ‘Be still and know that I am God’.  Yes, even in our restlessness, we must wait for the Lord, hope in the Lord and wait for the morning.  Morning will come.

Petals of suffering continue to fall, terminally ill patients facing their worst fears in loss of health, perhaps the loss of a loved one or even their own life

Falling petals

One little petal, Vicki (3) entered the care of Emanuel Hospice two weeks ago. She has advanced cancer.  A difficult and heart rendering decision has been made to halt her curative treatment; it is simply not working.  There are two other children in this family – a brother (7) and a sister (4).  Vicki is very small and fragile.  This precious little flower knows only pain as the illness has now spread throughout her tiny body. A little one of three unable to walk, when she should be creating memories during these formative years. I cannot comprehend the sorrow in the hearts of these young parents as they watch their little flower fade before their eyes. Her little eyes searching for answers and asking Mummy ‘Why so much pain Mummy?’  The evident parting will be painful for her adoring parents, Vicki is precious and dearly loved by her family whose path of suffering seems harsh and unending.  Next time you see a little one of three skipping, jumping, playing, natural for a three-year-old, whisper ‘Vicki’.

Mariara is the mother of four children. Her condition continues to deteriorate, so much so, she is now in hospital.  Her little boy of seven is filled with fear.  In fear of losing his mum, his tears flow and they are real tears as he cries: ‘Life will never be the same without ‘My Mummy’.’   

Nicolas (4) a new patient, also diagnosed with cancer. Pray for him as he will require urgent surgery to remove a tumour. Further information regarding his condition will be confirmed following surgery and biopsy results. 

In my days of sadness, which if honest are many, in my quiet moments I think of the little ones who are terminally ill and where for many there is no expectancy of life. Yes, it tears me in to small pieces.  I hold my precious friend Estera close in my heart and miss my visits with her to ‘My Children’.  God knows ‘Why’.  Faces come to mind; Damian was a precious little boy who died two years ago following a brain tumour.  He used to know it was ‘Sister Shirley’ visiting with Estera as when he lost his sight; he used the power of smell and always recognised my perfume.  His brother (16) was baptised yesterday.  Estera and I are thrilled Marco made a decision to follow the Lord.

One patient I will never forget is my friend Dorina who died leaving two precious children, Diana and David.  I still maintain my contact with David and Diana as they became special in my life.  Many of you will recall Diana milking the cows at 5am in the morning before boarding the bus bound for Oradea to attend school.  Diana was also baptised yesterday in their home Pentecostal church.  Diana has chosen nursing as her profession in memory of her darling Mum, I thank the Lord that through the affliction and loss of her Mum, Diana will be an instrument of mercy to many.

Kevin is waiting to be scheduled for surgery and Ella, our precious Ella, her young life is filled with pain and continuous struggle. A young teenager whose body is held captive by a raging disease. 

Jennifer has lost her beloved father.  Laszio, who was suffering from gastric cancer, died a few days ago.  Jennifer’s mother abandoned her family many years ago; therefore, she will now be in the care of her grandmother who shared with us that Jennifer is overwhelmed by grief. She constantly fears that something will happen to her grandmother and that if her grandmother dies, she will be totally alone in this world.  The grandmother is distraught, the last wish of her son Laszio before he died was to smoke one final cigar.  This thought is causing overwhelming distress during her time of grieving for her son.

Mr. Filip (67) – liver cancer and multiple metastasis. After he finished his chemotherapy, a metastasis appeared on his ribs, he required immediate radiotherapy. Soon after, another metastasis appeared on the sternum and on his lower back. These are very painful, and because of the metastasis on his lower back, he is unable to sit on a bed or chair for more than a few minutes. He constantly walks around the house and sits only to rest for a few minutes. He endures many sleepless nights trying to find a position in which the pain is bearable.

Elisabeta (62) – tumour localized on the left part of her neck. The tumour has exulcerated causing extreme pain. Elisabeta also suffers from dementia displaying many episodes of anger, verbally assaulting nurses and refusing to co-operate with them.  Her sister called requesting help from our Hospice team because Elisabeta is constantly left alone. Her carer does not take proper care of her. 

Love has many price tags, some of little or no value. Such are the price tags placed on the abundance of children with disabilities. Dora, who is a team member of Casa Grace, has one hundred and seventeen children in her therapy classes. Sixty-seven represent families from the community and fifty orphans.  New cases are mostly Autistic and Down Syndrome children with many of our families representing children displaying both disabilities. Without the service offered free by Casa Grace, these children would not have the opportunity to attend therapy classes. 

Dominic (20 months) is one of our Down Syndrome babies.  He has eye deficiencies and is totally dependent on his mother.  He becomes very distressed during therapy sessions. Our aim is to decrease his total dependence on his mother, and through the use of audio and visual toys cause him to become more independent, a normal and adventurous baby boy.

Sophia (2) Down Syndrome, is able to walk unaided if she maintains total eye contact.  We use her curiosity to help her explore the environment and form a bond of communication.

Elijah (3) was abandoned by the state system. He is underdeveloped and would pass for a baby of one year old.  He suffers from congenital Syphilis, and is mentally delayed, suffering from spells of pneumonia. He is able to walk with the aid of a stick.  Our aim is to use his audio attention to encourage him to crawl and to explore the environment to teach him the art of listening through musical toys.  I miss nursing him!

I never cease to be amazed at the mass colouring of yellow formed by the gorse blooming along the country roadside in Spring.  Gorse blooming from thorns, a harvest of wheat from grain… where there is injury, may I bring peace.

An elderly village lady whose dark eyes are filled with sadness is trying to grow flowers from thorns.   Her grandson was abandoned by his mother, left in the care of a father who displayed no love and offered no responsibility. Forgetting her own pain and sacrificing friends and home, this grandmother moved from Oradea to a village to a home in disrepair where she renovated one room, kitchen and bathroom for herself and her beloved grandson.  His father has chosen to live with another lady. What love this grandmother shows in making a home for a little boy who has only known seven years of existing in a wilderness. Many thorns have pierced his young life.  We as a team in Casa Grace prayed, knowing when God says give, there is nothing to lose.  But papers were a must, a first priority. Finally, documents have been received from the State to enable us to move forward with our two-year counselling and feeding programme.  The village home is sparsely furnished but spotlessly clean.  Perhaps for some, a place of nothingness?  Would I be prepared to live in a place of self-despair, in unfavourable conditions, intractable people, facing impossible odds?  The Lord can transform all human suffering into blessing.  Come with us, come and help us.

A quiet and peaceful family consisting of a mother, father and two daughters of fifteen and twelve years of age, living in a small one-bedroom apartment.  The mother donated one of her kidneys to her brother, resulting in numerous health problems with severe complications leaving her extremely weak, unable to work.  The father works full time as a pastry chef. Casa Grace has accepted this family into our programme as this family displayed courage during their time of health failure.  To receive food and hygiene is a blessing for them but we have a higher goal, that they will come to know the One who gives living bread.  Pray for the team at Casa Grace that they may know guidance and be able to give wise counsel.

David is a hard-working young man.  David’s mother was killed when he was very young and his father is in prison.  He, together with his brothers and sisters were placed within the Child Protection system. Life is complicated for him as he is on his own now and it is difficult to know his inner thoughts.   Our team at Casa Grace talk with him and offer support.  This week we installed a used washing machine into his one room apartment.  We wait in faith for a transformation in his life.

There are times when many feel forgotten, forsaken, when sorrow heaps into mounds of the unthinkable.  The point of despair is a constant road of suffering for:

Isabela (14) is the daughter of a lady who has been under the supervision of Iochebed for the past two years. Jasmina (mother) has experienced constant hardships of life, including the heartbreak of two unwanted pregnancies.  Isabela has serious heart issues which require immediate heart surgery.  Last year, she went to a doctor for a consultation. The heart specialist works only in the private sector therefore surgery, medication and hospital fees must be paid. This family has no financial means to move forward for the surgery as Jasmina has five other children at home; the father is the only one working. We have paid for travel, consultancy and other fees to the hospital in Bucharest on three occasions.   After each visit, they returned home with a new set of tests also financed by Iochebed.  Once results are received and confirmed, Isabela will be scheduled for immediate surgery. We want to support them financially in travel expenses and other urgent needs. We pray that God will touch Isabela and that the surgery be successful. We look to the Lord to send the finance.

FOOTNOTE: An email from Gabi has just been received stating that Isabela has undergone heart surgery a few hours ago, she is in the ICU of the Marie Curie Children’s Hospital, Bucharest.  ISABELA NEEDS OUR PRAYERS.


Ana is a mother of five children where there are no seasons of joy in her life.  Spring time and Summer never come; it is always winter in her heart.  Her little girl of eight is ill, test results show cirrhosis of the liver.  Ana is filled with fear and uncertainty and has requested prayer for her little one.  Ana’s world has collapsed around her feet; her voice trembles as she speaks.  Pray the winds of faith will blow in healing and that Lord will touch her daughter.


Nicoleta (22) is thirty-one weeks pregnant. Recently she was told that the baby’s umbilical cord is twisted around the neck area. The doctor has advised it will not be possible to give birth naturally and they need to perform a caesarean section before term. May God comfort her and give Nicoleta peace.

 
Andreea (16) is a young mother with a five-month-old baby.  Andreea was unaware she was pregnant again and continued to do physical work.  During the night she miscarried; this occurred a few days ago.  Andreea is very young and frightened but is unable to go to hospital as there is no one to care for her five-month-old baby.  We have advised her to go to hospital but she is refusing saying she is feeling better now and does not have the money to travel to the city of Suceava. May the Lord protect this young teenager from infections and may she overcome the shock of loss!

The Baptist church in Sofronea where Andrei is pastoring has now resumed normal Sunday services within the church building with the orchestra and choir participating. They plan for the children’s meetings to recommence in the village. Pray children will come as the gospel story of Jesus and his love is shared.  Preparations are in progress to work with children linked to the Ferma church. A young lady has come forward requesting to become involved in serving the Lord.   Saturday outreach will be held every week. Pray she will be effective and consistent as there is a lot of ground work to be accomplished. These children are totally unchurched. 

Andrei continues to preach the word faithfully every Sunday.  Presently, preparation classes are being held for baptism.  Four people came forward in salvation and have expressed their desire to follow the Lord in baptism. We give God the thanks for his ‘tokens of blessing’.   Andrei and Ligia will travel to Sibiu this weekend for the Annual Baptist Conference, Andrei has been asked to preach in the Baptist church in Drobeta Turnu-Severin, a city south of Romania.  Pray for my adopted son that God will move in his young heart and make him a fisher of men.  May the catch of fish be in abundance as he throws out the net.

Lily had been in a coma since her car accident in December (three months).  She was transferred to a private hospital in Oradea.  In answer to prayer, Lily has resumed consciousness and is able to move her hands and feet.  However, she is unable to speak.  Her mother, mother-in-law are members of Andrei’s church in Sofronia.  Lily moved to Arad approximately ten years ago where she now lives with her family.  Her recovery will be long and closely monitored.  Pray for this tragic situation.

Many of you are aware, I have been writing a weekly report on the Ukrainian refugee situation.  Monika, Gabi, Pastor(s) Catalin, Ovi, Andrei and Alex, together with teams of volunteers continue ministering on the borders. Finance is transferred daily to secure the purchasing of medicine, food, hygiene and urgent requirements.  Speaking with Monika (minutes ago) I learned that Casa Grace have been requested to secure a place of refuge for a period of two weeks to accommodate fifty-two Ukrainian orphans. A secure place approximately fifty kilometres outside Oradea has been identified with stocks of medicine, food, hygiene and clothing ready and available.  I ask for your prayer support – appropriate papers/documents are causing a delay in this process.  May we know Godly counsel and wisdom in this matter. 

We may ask: ‘Why?’   God will explain ‘Why?’.  ‘I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness’.  (Ps 17: 15)

Shirley, 
Wednesday, March 30, 2022  
 

A vocation to love

A LOVE THAT KNOWS NO LIMIT:

Serving ‘others’:  Lately, I find myself taking a close look at my own personal service, reviewing the depth of my compassion.  For the first time in my life, I can honestly say, I am ‘deeply troubled.  Writing my blog highlights my own area of weaknesses. I feel helpless as I try to respond to the overwhelming needs.  I must not miss my purpose and so in faith I leave my feelings of inadequacy and weakness to the strength of the One who will never fail.  Thousands of Ukrainian people are crossing the border from Ukraine into Suceava where Iochebed is located, mainly mothers with their little ones. Christian volunteers were the first to welcome the refugees at the border, offering sandwiches, water, tea, coffee, bibles, free transportation and accommodation.  Many refugees have also crossed the border in other parts of Romania.  Romanian Christian families are opening their homes and assisting in every way possible.  

Note that this image is for illustration purposes only and is not from Romania or Ukraine

Pray for all our friends throughout Romania: Pastors; Faculty; Students; Casa Grace; Emanuel Hospice and Iochebed.  ‘For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me’ (Matt: 25: 35). The proof of loving God is loving people‘LOVE’does not come with rules, it is not complicated, it is our opportunity to express the character and nature of our Heavenly Father whose ‘LOVE’ indeed knows no limit.

The quietness of the snowflakes falling in the early hours comforted me.  I watched as soft layers of snow formed a flawless white carpet.  Hours later, the perfection of flawless beauty had been marred by the scars of deep footprints.  In my January blog, I made reference to footprints. I pray as I write again this month that footprints of kindness will act as a miracle-working grain or seed that would germinate and grow into something beautiful.  My plans, once fixed, have changed; changed by Divine appointment.  My patients, families and children are who they are; they were not given a choice and accept whatever comes.  Life is for living; many barely exist, yet they manage to smile hoping with another day, things may be different.  Our Feeding Programme(s); Medication: Humanitarian Aid; Response to Crisis Needs are given in faith, believing that paths of suffering will become mountain paths filled with outbursts of beauty.  Time for me to return to my ABC(s) where lessons of trust, patience and expectancy will teach me the impossible is possible.  

Trials are not pleasant; life, whilst for living, can be grievous.  The smoking volcanic mountain erupts forming a heap of unimaginable pain and suffering.  We, as God’s children know the true meaning of ‘rest’ as found in Matt: 11: 28 ‘Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’.  The weariness of struggle is real and exhausting work.   How long?  Will my pain ever end?  The team of Emanuel Hospice offer palliative care to the terminally ill and in love share the gospel telling them that although they may not know what tomorrow may hold, they can know the One who holds tomorrow and that His grace is sufficient for them and that His strength is made perfect in their weakness.

SERVING IN LOVE:

The service of Emanuel Hospice springs from hearts that beat with ‘mission’.  A mission to serve in the spirit of love. Comfort and dignity is offered to those who struggle with physical, psychological, social and spiritual suffering related to terminal illness. All is freely given in the spirit of Christian love.   Thank you for your partnership which enables us to continue the feeding programme to the dying adults and children. Our team provide palliative care services for both adults and children in Oradea and rural areas with a capacity of eighty adults and thirty children.  Special cases such as our ‘Wee Ella’ who many of you will remember are monitored.  Ella is very weak at present, a young teenager whose body is wasting away due to the progression of her illness. Her brother Aurialian’s condition is more advanced, a young man in his early twenties totally dependent on his mother. With a true devotion, as a candle is consumed by the passion of its flame, may we be consumed to love and serve these precious patients.  Indeed, the heartbeat of our mission is to love and serve and remember those who walk a path of suffering.

Samuel (10) a new patient, diagnosed with tetra paresis. Samuel is one of four children and is lovingly cared for by his mother and father. They live in the dark corners of extreme poverty, existing from one day to the other. A family in deep need and in deep distress.

Marioara:  Widowed and confined to bed suffering from advanced stages of cancer. A CT scan has confirmed her illness has spread throughout her body.  Her young teenage daughter (17) quietly carries this burden of knowing her beloved mum will not recover.  She alone will have the responsibility of caring for her two brothers who suffer from tetra paresis, one who is permanently confined to a wheelchair.  Marioara is heartbroken, her children have lost their father and fears the outcome of her illness.   A cry from a heartbroken mum: ‘Who will love my children?’ The little boy of seven refuses to attend school fearing his beloved mum will be gone on his return. Marioara remains close to the Lord, knowing that the very hairs of her head are numbered and her name is engraved on his hands. Surround her with ‘LOVE’.

Pety (17) diagnosed with a rare liver disorder.  His brother died very young with the same illness. As his illness progresses, investigations will be ongoing to confirm if the illness is malignant. 

Marinela (Director) and my dear Estera visited the grandparents of little Daniel to offer emotional and spiritual support. Daniel’s grandfather’s pain is such that he is unable to communicate with Daniel’s friends.  The memories are too painful.  Through his tears he tells us that the Lord is everything to him as he is all he has now.  Grief is real, but God is the healer of broken hearts.

Ramona (41) diagnosed with cervix cancer one year ago, was anticipating surgery that could possibly save her life.  In consultation, it has been confirmed that due to the growth of the tumour, it is impossible to perform lifesaving surgery.   Ramona has five children, three girls and two boys aged between ten and twenty-one.  Adriana (Physiologist) is visiting the family to work with the younger children. Ramona will commence chemotherapy soon, believing the Lord will heal her. Ramona maintains care of the family home and her children, lovingly assisted by her mother.

Indrie Family:  Lazar, diagnosed with colon cancer, died last week.  His four children loved ‘their Daddy’ and he them.  He fought hard during these past two years of deep pain and emotional suffering, but the illness became completely out of control.  Adriana is also visiting this family to offer support to his wife, who is struggling to cope with the loss of her husband.  Her heart is broken because of the physical suffering she watched her beloved husband go through before his final breath.  Adriana is working closely with Sara (10) the youngest daughter of the family as she is deeply affected. 

Ildiko (66) unknown to her family this precious lady has been suffering from breast cancer for several years.   She refused any form of treatment until now; the tumour has exulcerated forming an open wound.  Her chest and torso are both affected, bleeding heavily and requiring clean dressings every day.  Our nursing staff are challenged as this is one of the most difficult cases they have ever encountered, 

‘WHERE IS LOVE?’

Eleanor Roosevelt penned: ‘It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know.  We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like calms in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death’.

                 Four ladies whose dreams lie in ashes.  Beautiful babies, children who lack security and wonder ‘will life always be this way?’.  They live in constant fear, the fear of tomorrow, rejection and of ever knowing the true meaning of love.

                 A few days ago, a bouncing baby boy (two months) was brought to Iochebed by the aunt of his young mother who suffers from schizophrenia.  After the birth she developed post-natal depression and remains in hospital.  Her fear is handling her heart, her tomorrow(s).  Her strength is gone as she has never known love.  This beautiful baby has no documents, no identity, therefore there are no benefits available. No mother to draw safe parameters for him, to guard or direct him.  Who will purchase dried milk, pampers, clothing?  Betrayed, bereft of love, alone.  A lost cause?   This is a challenge to love.  Love penetrates the core of hopelessness and mends the brokenness.

                 Five children pleaded with their mother to return home to live with their father, insisting she would ‘try again.  Roxana was forsaken and left totally alone, a lady who has only known extreme hardship.  In fear and for the sake of her children she agreed.  She is pregnant again and fears the future.  Her previous births have all been difficult and the memory of raising her children, perhaps alone again, overwhelms her.  We pray the Lord will speak peace to this searching and aching heart.  We pray Roxana will be able to carry the baby full term.

                 Elena has three children of eight, seven and three years.  She came to our centre requesting a scan which confirmed she is pregnant with her fourth child.  Elena was distraught as she is extremely poor and cannot afford a fourth child, so her first reaction was to reject the pregnancy. During our counselling sessions we outlined that at six weeks the baby’s heart is beating and when we asked her to look at the images, her heart was clearly moved and with tearful eyes said she wishes to keep the baby.  Another challenge to love and support this gift of life.  Iochebed will be able to support this mother through the practical and prayerful support of those who stand with us in Tell Romania.

                 Lucia has three children (one year, ten months and six months).  She also came to the centre requesting a scan which again proved positive.  Lucia was shocked and shared her fears of caring for a fourth child.  Her husband is ill, requiring surgery.  He does not have insurance; therefore, they must pay for hospitalisation, surgery, treatment etc. He is unable to work and they barely manage to survive.  She told us her three little ones were hungry especially the baby as she had no food at all.  Our team are amazing in the giving of their time, love and patience. Lucia has made a decision to keep her baby.  We at Iochebed will support throughout the pregnancy and after.  We will also meet urgent medical needs.  BUT we can only do this because YOU care.  May the Lord bless you for standing with us in the work God has called us to do.  We serve as one.

                 THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE:

‘O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!

Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me!

Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love

Leading onward, leading homeward to Thy glorious rest above!

                 I find these words incredible, praying for such a love to be cultivated within me.  I think of a small team of ladies in Casa Grace, whom I am privileged to call friends.  Different personalities form our female species, all differing as individuals – there is the Mary and the Martha.  The small team of Casa Grace touch many lives.  Dana in her role as Supervisor of the Vocational Training Room, teaching three different modules each year.  Ladies travelling from villages, young adults, all eager to learn where modules from beginner through to distinction are taught.  Elisabeth (22) is one of fifteen children, taking the third training course which is the most advanced module.  She lives 70 kms from Oradea and travels four hours to take her module in Casa.  She lives in a small village and attends a local village Church with her large family. Elizabeth discovered her ability to create skirts, shirts, blouses, hair accessories etc.  She purchased a sewing machine and started out on a new venture.  Now, she has many clients, mainly from the church as they require modest dresses. She has become part of our family at Casa Grace, attending twice weekly until the completion of her final module, when she will graduate.   She displays a good attitude towards work and works with great urgency.  She is thankful for the opportunity she has been given to go through all the stages to become a seamstress of excellence.  Dora, bringing sunshine into the darkness of our Kingdom Kids based within the Orphan Centre.  Monika, Berta, Cornelia, Marilena trying to gain an insight into the struggles and emotions of social cases who form the desperately poor.   These people are friendless and alone, I call Monika a ‘nest maker’.  Every knock on the door of Casa is a knock for help.

                 Before any family can be accepted on to our two-year Feeding Programme, an initial evaluation takes place.  Monika forwarded pictures of two families who have submitted applications.   I scanned the images, the only thing of beauty I could see was the beautiful winter sky.  The contrast within the two village houses was unbelievable.  Lives without the Lord, lives filled with misery, sickness, poverty. We are so thankful those of you who support our three Feeding Programmes.  It does change lives as during the two years our team offer counselling and management advice.  A lady who was on our programme is now in a position where she is assisting in her Roma village.  God’s love changes lives. 

                 There was no sink unit, table, chairs; the food cupboard was a shelf with a few jars of pickled winter vegetables which is normally placed on bread as the main meal of the day. This family has started attending a Pentecostal church.  Although the snow had passed, the torrential rain was a battle.  The village is far removed from the main road and this family walk one hour to a train station in order to come to Oradea. The mother is from a Roma background and unable to read or write and has been diagnosed with glaucoma in both eyes, her long-term diagnoses is grave as she is in danger of becoming blind in both eyes at any time.  Each morning in the darkness of the early morning she walks her young daughter to the train station, repeating this one hour walk on her daughter’s return from school. During the day she tries to find work (cleaning and preparing chickens).  Her son was born with health issues and remains very weak; however, he is studying at University in order to become an Accountant.  Home is literally an ‘empty shell’ but it is spotless.  We decided two months ago to take this family on to our Feeding Programme, offering hygiene products also.

                 Knowing there are situations filled with a darkness that is totally black fills me with despair but with your help, we can offer ‘hope’.  Let us together bring the dawning of a new day.  Hold the value of ‘LOVE’ in your heart.

                 DO YOU KNOW, YOU ARE LOVED?

                 Oswald Chambers wrote: ‘The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like stars in heaven and the lilies in the field, perfectly simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mould us.’  As I read these words, I think of my adopted son Andrei, who is seeking to excel in his ministry as a young pastor, but who is not blinded to the broken and shattered lives around him in the surrounding villages near Sofronia where God has called him to serve.

Andrei is filled with a passion for the lost, teaching religious studies in the village schools and coming face to face with extreme poverty and brokenness.  Young children are running to the safety and warmth of school, escaping from an environment where parents display abusive behaviour.  A tiny figure of a little boy shivering with fear greeted Andrei – he has just witnessed another disagreement between his parents where his father abused and hit his mother.

Two other school children, seven and sixteen years of age, coming from a poor village, forced to live with their grandmother as their parents are divorced.  They are so gentle with a beautiful nature.  We may be strangers to such living conditions but they do exist.  I shudder to think of the many ‘steps and stairs’ I used to see huddled in the corner of a one room wooden shack – this was home.  Today, a disused train carriage is home to many!  They survive from day to day on a diet of emptiness and longing.  Our service should radiate from a flame of passion; if even only a flicker it should burn with a holy flame of love, love for those perhaps we class ‘2ndclass’. Love, in its true meaning is unknown there.   The world is dying for words of kindness; it appears to be a lost art.  Andrei is consumed with a passion for these children who are without identity. They are simply leaves, rose petals that will fall and blow away, never to be remembered.  Can we remember them?  Can we love them?  A small church with five members, namely: ‘Ferma’ which is ‘The Farm’ has been formed. Only love can change and rebuild lives.  ‘There is nothing so kindling as to see the soul of man or woman follow right over the edge of the usual into the untracked land – for love of Him, sheer love of Him. (A. Carmichael).  Together, let the flicker of our candle light their darkness

‘When God overcomes our difficulties for us, we have the assurance that we are engaged in His work and not our own’ (George Muller).

Shirley, Sunday, February 27, 2022

42B Bernice Road, BT36 4QZ

FOOTPRINTS OF SUFFERING

‘WALK WITH ME’

Footprints in the sand
Footprints in the sand

Childhood memories flash before our eyes of marking our footprints in the sand; memories bring a smile.  Yet the footprints before us in the first blog of 2022 represent deep markings of darkness, testing and sadness. The reality of ‘Agony’ weighs heavy on my heart as I ‘try’ to comprehend the blackness of despair, fear of loss, hopelessness surrounding my patients and families.  Anxiety is like a disease that spreads; eating away our resources until all strength is gone.  I pray as I enter this new year of service that I may offer (in the words of the hymn writer) ‘strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow’.  Sadly, for many, their tomorrows are limited, for others, tomorrow will never come.  Seasons, climate, circumstances change; lives are torn apart by a thick quilt of dark skies formed by cruel thorns of suffering – their sunrise has been followed by sunset, which is sinking fast.   Walk with me as I enter lives that have been stripped of all they once held dear.   

I find the contents of my blog a painful reality. ‘Would I be willing to exchange my life for theirs?’  The true heartbeat of mission is an ever-listening ear to the heartfelt plea from those who know only the bitter taste of catastrophe.  They suffer in silence trying to hide behind a smile, yet within they are crushed and broken.  I find myself ‘withdrawing’ knowing my human limitations, reminded of the apostle Paul when he said ‘We …will keep to the limits God has apportioned us’.  There is no confusion with God, as he knows exactly where he is taking me. Yet, there are times when case studies are complicated, where, as I read, I find it mind numbing.  Their world is filled with unspeakable sadness.  I do not understand ‘why’ so instead I will wait, listen and trust knowing in the words of John Newton:

‘Thou art coming to a King, Large petitions with thee bring,
For His grace and power are such.  None can ever ask too much’
.

‘Tell us, fool, who knows more of love – the one who has joys from it or the one who has trials and griefs?  He answered: There cannot be any knowledge of love without both of them’. (Ramond Llull: The Book of the Lover and the Beloved).  From personal experience I found ‘grief’ both painful and very real.  Love heals deep wounds of sorrow; I pray as you read, we may all learn a lesson in loving.  Many of us are spared pain, fear; the mountains in our life are distant mountains and we know not the pangs of hunger. We cannot control events but we can show love through our response.  Let us walk together as we hold these precious people in our hearts.

Daniel:  A dearly loved little boy, precious to his grandparents since they brought him to their village home when only one day old.  A poor and humble home with little or no resources, living from day to day on meagre means, Daniel has now been ‘called home’.  For Daniel’s grandparents it is a slow, hope-drenched crawl to survive each day without him.  They are in the depths of grief.  Their tears would fill a river; they are unable to open the door where he slept. Daniel’s friends come to visit and they are happy to see them but they are minus one who was dearly loved.  There is no abundance of wealth but they are overflowing with love which is a constructive love.  Funeral costs can be high in Romania, I have asked Estera to update me on this matter.  I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child and pray the peace and calmness of the Holy Spirit will come to this precious Christian couple in their moments of weakness. 

Elena:   A darling little girl of seven, diagnosed with spinal amyotrophy. She is lovingly cared for by her adoring mother. The father could only find employment abroad, where he is working to provide for his family. The little girl goes through periods where she is violently sick, unable to keep food in her stomach. Covid has now attacked her frail little body and her condition is worsening.  The young mother feels so alone, watching her beloved daughter fading in health and longing for ‘Daddy’ to come home.

Marioara:  Diagnosed with cancer.  A grieving widow confined to bed, suffering from progressive stages of cancer.  Her seventeen-year-old daughter loves and cares for her mother.  The pain deepens as her two sons suffer from tetra paresis, with one of them permanently confined to a wheelchair. It is overwhelming to see how Marioara crawls in pain to her son’s wheelchair just to comfort him.  There is a fourth child, a healthy seven-year-old boy who simply does not understand. It is hard to provide explanations; he watches in fear of tomorrow.  They are a Christian family who love and trust the Lord.   They are so grateful for the food we provide for them! They may not be rich in monetary matters but they are rich in love and grace.  Each morning Marioara holds out her hand in faith knowing that one day she will understand.

Lldiko: (68) The trauma of emergency surgery confirmed a diagnosis of colon cancer. The tumour is spreading rapidly with the result that it has affected her walking. She is now being immobilized in bed. This dear lady has no family apart from an elderly brother who comes once every day to help her. The fact is that she is constantly alone with no one to assist with her basic needs.   The most difficult part of her loneliness is during the night when fear and panic trouble and torment her feeble mind.  For her time stands still.  No one ever knocks her door, No one cares. Lldiko is totally unaware of the seriousness of her illness and hopes one day she will recover.  Springtime in Romania is precious to her but her brother is hiding the truth from her, often making excuses for her weakness and inability to walk.

 Lucretia: (78) is a patient with breast cancer and bone metastasis, often with major pain, especially in her arms. She is unable to walk without assistance.  One major problem is that she has difficulty in swallowing certain food or medication owing to the fact that as a little girl she drank caustic soda.  The caustic soda damaged her stomach and larynx, and now she is often prone to fits of choking.   Yesterday she choked and had to be taken to the Accident and Emergency Department.  Lucretia has a disabled husband who has had one leg amputated owing to complications arising from his diabetes.  They have one daughter who takes care of them but she too is ill, being diagnosed with lupus a few years ago. There was another daughter, but sadly she died from breast cancer at the age of forty-nine after two years of suffering. This family is experiencing great hardship and needs our support in prayer.

Mr. Constantin: (69), is a patient with pancreatic cancer. This gentleman has no family or relatives. He lives most of the time in isolation and loneliness.  Sometimes a neighbour will display kindness to this sad frame of a man, trying to help, when and where possible.   He lives in very unsanitary conditions, being one of our social cases. Unfortunately, due to his unhealthy living accommodation, his lungs are affected with periods of dyspnoea episodes. Panic sets in during these episodes.

‘FORSAKEN’

Exiles and strangers living in dry and barren fields in a world they find hostile.  I write of hungry children whose jars do not overflow with honey; there is no surplus of food; in fact, most days insufficient food to satisfy them.  Yet they feel privileged in travelling many miles to school each day, longing to learn, to have a place in this world of unacceptance.  ‘Who is my neighbour?’.  Monika, Director of Casa Grace, received a request from Romanian language Professors from two different high-schools.  Dedicated teachers, observing and displaying care for their pupils, they noticed these children were anxious to learn, so much wanted an education, that they were prepared to commute each day through inclement weather, although their clothes were not suited to the freezing climate.  They were also quick to notice their lunch boxes were empty. I wonder have we ever felt famished or thirsty?   Amidst all this adversity they were still faithful in attending school and came with a smile.  March 2020 brought many changes to everyone with our three feeding programmes expanding rapidly.  We had operated within a 30 Kilometre radius; now we have extended this to 60 Kilometres.  It is important to do the things we can do under God’s direction. Were we willing to help these children? Of course, the answer was ‘YES’. Two of my colleagues made the long journey to the first family.  Monika sent me an image of the house and I could not believe this was ‘home’ to this family.  To record it was in disrepair, unacceptable conditions with only a partial roof, is an understatement.  It was a small house with only basic items, lacking hygiene. Inside, we found an elderly lady, (Mother) weak and unable to walk. As in all new referrals, we requested her disability paper but we felt she was unable to understand as there appeared to be a mental deficiency. All the children were at school with one child working.  Her husband has developed health problems relating to heart issues; he is not well but tries to work.  The depth of poverty affected my colleagues.  Each family have their own personal case study yet this lady was unable to supply the relevant documentation.  We persevered and persisted in pursuing with the aid of the school teacher, who has seen the positive attitude of the teenagers she is teaching.   May Casa Grace be able to show light to them as they do not attend any church, they don’t know the One who can change life and who gives to us our daily bread!   We will show them the love of God through counselling, the support of food, hygiene, clothes and school supplies.

The second family touched Monika’s heart. They have gone through a lifetime of hurt, sadness and rejection.  This family attend a local catholic church located in their village, where everyone lives together in peace and where each family shares one with the other from the little they have.  During these cold evenings when it is minus 18 degrees, wild mushrooms from the fields can make a large pot of hot soup!  The poverty must be seen to be believed.  During the visit, from very little the grandmother made hot pancakes. This would be the evening meal for her grandchildren returning from school. The house is clean with the bare essentials.  There is evidence they literally survive from day to day.  This hurts my aching heart!    They focus on encouraging the children to attend school, to listen and to receive an education.  Their aim is to offer their children a lifeline far removed from the Dickensian style of living. Their school teacher is very impressed with the grades of the daughter from this family in her class and has recommended the entire family as hard-working and dedicated.  BUT they need support, encouragement and someone to show they care.   Monika was encouraged by their sincerity and humble thanks for our support of food and clothing.  I find this amazing – they live in the same village where Mariana and her seven children reside. Their paths have not crossed as yet.  I pray they will meet by divine appointment.  Mariana has had partial surgery only owing to complications.   She remains in hospital as it is safer than returning to her village when covid cases are rising.  

‘IMPOSSIBLE?’

The real test of love is loving in days of difficulty, in different settings, loving those with different personalities, different mood patterns, those searching for security and recognition as a person even though many do not have an identity.  Love is not competitive; love is showing kindness in hopeless situations.  For such we must form deep roots of trust.  To them it seems impossible as this has been their life for generations. I was praying for a ‘rainbow’ to brighten their dark skies.  This morning, my friend Iris sent two banana boxes of new clothing for Iochebed.  God’s rainbow will be a blessing to: 

Corina (36) a single mother raising her two children (19 years and 2 years) alone. This month the chimney collapsed and the furnace had to be removed. They had no other choice than to remain in freezing conditions with the little girl forced to sleep fully clothed, crying with the cold.  We purchased a furnace to bring heat, plus the cooking facilities.   We also assisted financially with materials and work to repair the chimney. Corina has no words to thank everyone for the gift she received from God! May God help this family’s needs as He did until now!

Sabina (35) came requesting a pregnancy test which confirmed she is in her sixth week of pregnancy.  Sadly, her reaction was not one of joy rather of rejection expressing thoughts of abortion as she has decided to leave the father of her baby.  My colleagues explained to her in great detail the real effects of abortion, mentally, physically and spiritually. Sabina left the centre feeling confused and undecided.  May the Lord impact her thoughts.  We have offered financial assistance regarding various medical consultations, tests and medication.  We will also care for the baby for the first year.  She was unwilling to accept as she does not want to keep the baby.  Only God can change her heart and thoughts.  

Petronela is a loving and faithful mother of six children. Serious hardships surrounded her during her last pregnancy when it was confirmed she has hepatitis B.  Petronela informed us recently that baby Alexandru must undergo surgery for a hernia. The Lord reached down and gathered baby Alexandru in his arms and healed the child. No surgery required!  

Ana-Maria (21) a loving and faithful wife who lives in very difficult circumstances.  She and her husband do not have a place of their own and are forced to live in one room with their in-laws.  Ana-Marie is thirteen weeks pregnant, and longing for the day when she will hold her baby.  Another sad situation – no job – no finance – young adults with nowhere to go.  We will assist them financially, praying the Lord will turn their circumstances around.

Mihaela (42) has eight children.  Mihaela came to our centre requesting a pregnancy test which confirmed she is pregnant with her ninth child. She was shocked!  Forty-Two and nine little mouths to feed!   Mihaela is physically unwell and needs our support and help during the pregnancy period. We will be involved with the medical tests because she is unable to pay for them.  Mihaela needs the Lord.  ‘Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’ (Matt 11: 28).

Psalm 90 has always been one of my most loved psalms.  Why?  It expresses my times of joy and my days of sorrow.  My writing is how things are and whether it is the work of Emanuel Hospice, Casa Grace Foundation or Iochebed, we need to embrace these incredible situations.  Many are not skilled, accomplished, accepted, but they are ‘real people’.  Today, I have taken a look back over my life and how I have been blessed, I am rich in so many ways.  This earthly pilgrimage is short and I ask that the remaining days of my journey will be directed by God to the end.

‘Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things’

Shirley,  January 28th, 2022

‘What might have been?’

‘But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God’.

The most wonderful gift ever given was the gift of Jesus to a world in desperate need of a Saviour.   Jesus is the true meaning of this blessed time of year.  For a child there is no other day as important as Christmas Day. As we grow older the glow and excitement of Christmas fades. Reflecting on the memories of Christmas past, ‘Wonderful, Counsellor’, ‘Prince of Peace’, ‘Unto us a child is born’, ‘O Holy Night’, still cause me to glow with excitement and thanksgiving.  This Christmas let us celebrate the birthday of the King.

The Danish poet and author Hans Christian Andersen, is famous for his fairy-tale, ‘The Little Match Girl’.  Glancing through the pages reminded me of the hundreds of children throughout Romania who shiver barefoot; those trying to survive on cold streets, families in remote villages huddling together for warmth, who have no money to purchase firewood.  December is cold; winter snow greeted my colleagues this morning.  January to March bring freezing conditions. The reality hit hard as I read an urgent email; one line read: ‘Sister Shirley, I do not want to place you under pressure but please can you help?’  At this moment I asked myself: ‘What might have been?’

I question my heart these days, asking myself ‘have I any need I cannot meet or that has not been met?’  Before you focus upon my short blog this month, pray that you will read with a heart tuned to listen.  Children, families with one moment of need, urgent need, real need.  The urgency of one is breaking my heart.  

Daniel (12) has been discharged from hospital today.  Home for Christmas but home to a freezing room.  An adorable little boy lovingly cared for by his devoted grandparents; to them he is their beloved son. Their daughter abandoned Dani after giving birth to him in hospital. Dani regards his grandparents as his parents. They are humble village people who barely exist from day to day as they are extremely poor.   Dani is now unable to walk; his cancer is progressing; he will not recover.  Once a month Dani is taken by ambulance to hospital for palliative care and chemotherapy. They have no money for firewood. A baby abandoned, terminal cancer, I do not know how long Dani will live. But for the remainder of his days, will you offer comfort and warmth in the face of such suffering, uncertainty and anxiety. ‘What might have been?’

Maria (59) was admitted into our care in early autumn. She was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2014 and went through several extensive surgical procedures followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Despite oncological treatment, the disease recurred with bone metastases.  Spring 2021, Maria’s weight plummeted resulting in physical weakness and lack of appetite. Further investigations confirmed the disease had progressed beyond any surgical possibilities. She was advised to have palliative radiation therapy.  After a few sessions, the radiotherapist told Maria it was futile.  Maria’s pain continued to increase through to the summer of 2021 with numbness in the lower limbs. She found increasing difficulty in doing any physical effort, including walking or standing; a CT scan showed a spinal fracture. She became increasingly bedbound until she is now paraplegic and immobilised.  Hopeless in front of the evolving disease, she returned home to live the remainder of her days with her family and friends. Maria is totally dependent on her husband and has lost the will to live. The entire Hospice team visit her, sharing hope and offering guidance.  God is in control of all that comes our way. Pray Maria will find him, know him and come to love him. ‘What might have been?’

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house ….’ We know this poem well. December 6th was St. Nicholas Day in Romania. Early in the morning there was a stirring within the three bungalows housing our adult orphans in the area of Cighid Forest. The excited throng hurriedly made their way to the front door to see if St. Nicholas had left gifts.  Bethany Baptist Church Knit & Knatter Group under the direction of Marion Morrow ensured all our precious treasures in Cighid were not forgotten.  How could I forget them?  I love them.  They were thrilled to receive Dolls and Cadbury Chocolate. The men decided to hide the bars inside their pullovers (good move methinks). The ladies proceeded to measure the dolls to ensure all were the same size!  We can smile but they are someone’s son, someone’s daughter. I miss my times with them and yes, constantly ask myself: ‘What might have been?’

The desolate, insecure and those banished from any form of privilege that was never theirs, need to feel loved and accepted.  Hos. 13: 5-6 ‘I cared for you in the wilderness, in a land of burning heat, as if you were in pasture.’  The team of Casa Grace are caring for families who live in the wilderness of despair.  Six hundred children will receive a shoebox filled with a little something to bring a ‘smile’ this Christmas.  Families will receive food and hygiene; the homeless who have traversed a hopeless terrain will be shown love.  We may never walk in their footprints; we may never hear their voice; we may never walk their way, BUT we can show we care.  

Mariana has finally received a date for her surgery, January 9, 2022. Surgery will be extensive and she will be required to spend two to three weeks in hospital.  Mariana and her seven children will open their shoeboxes in their new home.  A first for them. Last year was open fields.

Eight thousand bible stories (Hungarian) in DVD format are on route to Romania, for the Hungarian Baptist Churches ensuring that thousands of children will not feel forgotten. Tom Patterson made many journeys to Tesco to secure the total sum of forty-one banana boxes. Seventy-two shoeboxes provided by Monkstown Baptist Church under the direction of Natalia Montgomery have arrived with Pastor Andrei, Sofronea. Another two boxes from Allan Hopper are on route.  Children and elderly are remembered.  Thank you.

Children with disabilities are like a butterfly with one broken wing.  Beautiful as the other butterflies – they just need a little help to open both wings.  I thank the Lord for Dora and her love for the disabled and orphaned children, also the abandoned babies.  Therapy classes are essential.  It takes time and lots of love and patience.  Ruth Hanna through her knitting will provide ‘treats’ for the children who attend our therapy centre. Sweat Shirts were purchased by Mavis Patterson for those who come on these freezing mornings without a coat. Carol Williamson provided handmaid duvets, playmats all in beautiful colours.  One little boy, Florin, has stolen her heart as he has mine. He and his friends travel many miles to attend our classes, often arriving without a coat. Carol has ensured they will be warm this Christmas.  I smile as I remember ‘My Dora’ who still talks about her ‘Auntie Barbara’. Sisters Margaret (Limavady); Patsy (Lisburn) Sheila (Carryduff) knitting beautiful jumpers etc.   ‘What might have been?’

Christmas is far removed from many young lives; winter is the only season in their hearts.  Life is cold and meaningless for Sabina who has four young children, the youngest only four weeks old.  An unmarried mother with no food and living in freezing conditions.  Vasilica gave birth to a baby girl in September.  The father of the child has gone and she is alone.  Her father is unable to help as he is a widower and cares for his disabled son.  Isabela (14) has been diagnosed with a hole in her heart which is growing larger.  If she does not have immediate surgery there will be complications in her lung area.  She must travel to a specialist hospital in Brasov. Iochebed have paid for the transport but we are asking the Lord to provide the finance for her heart surgery.  Two unexpected telephone calls just now from Limavady and Monkstown areas, enquiring if Georgina has firewood for Christmas and which child needs a toy for Christmas.  This is what love does, it remembers another’s weakness and gives and gives and gives again.

Days of emotion overtake me at times, I feel everything depends on ‘me’.  How wrong am I in my thinking? Jehoshaphat resolved in his heart to seek guidance of the Lord.    I greet 2022 determined to dedicate the remaining years of my life to ‘try’ to accomplish the work I feel called to do.  My prayer as I enter another new year: ‘Lord, ‘If only I may finish my course with joy’.

Shirley, December 15, 2021, 

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ.

‘PARCHED WASTELANDS OF DESPAIR’

George MacDonald wrote: ‘I am content to be and have what in Thy heart I am meant to be and have’.

I am trying to analyse these words, to accept that I am not here to be served but rather to serve.  The words of Col 3: 14 tell me ‘Love holds everything and everybody together’. It is a must that my love is constructive. A selfless love reaching out to a hungry child, a helpless and forsaken widow, a terminally ill patient where each second their breathing grows fainter.   I must have the inner courage to love without cost, surrendering my personal thoughts and desires, accepting that whatever I do, I do as ‘Unto the Lord’.

CASA GRACE:

Iron shoes are needed to walk the emotional roads of the case studies within the vast and varied outreach of Casa Grace.  My colleagues deal with situations that rock the very foundations of broken lives.   Floods of unemployment; illness; death – the rivers have burst their banks in many flooded villages of pain.

Families in failing heath without resources for treatment:

Lidia – diabetes, dialysis; Sandu – awaiting diagnosis to confirm advanced state of cancer; Matei husband – cancer; Mariana is awaiting surgery but hospitals remain closed, curfews on travel etc.  We are trying to move this family to their new home before Christmas.  

Families without a home:

Misaros; Matei; Fodor; Palkucz: Rostas: Heghedus; Szekeres. The monthly outlay for these families is double as they are required to pay rent, utility bills – there is no money remaining for food.

Bereavement:

Fodor family – A beloved husband; Pridon family – Grandmother: Nan family – A beloved husband. We weep with those who weep.

No wood for the freezing romanian winter:

Nan family; Fodor family. Both families mourn the loss of a beloved husband, father.

Pray for the salvation of:

Misaros family; Matei family; Fodor family; Palkucz family; Arene family; Brumaru family; Mariana’s family; Rostasfamily; Hegheduș family; Szekeres family.

Speaking with Monika yesterday, I longed to be back in my beloved Romania where those I love are crying out for ‘change’.  They ask ‘when is Sister Shirley returning?’ Their pain is my pain.  The beloved mother of a village home I visited on many occasions has been diagnosed with a 3 cm brain tumour.  Doctors require an enormous amount for life saving surgery.  They live without a water pump which means no water in the house, for drinking, cooking, washing or bathroom. Surgery fees? These situations are real, the reality of village life in Romania. 

Monika and Neli write:

It is clear that because, we have the ongoing prayer and financial support of Tell Romania, many lives are encouraged and lifted up.  They are amazed by the provision shown to them.  May our Heavenly Father give us the right words to say as we distribute the urgently needed food and hygiene support.   Thank you, Sister Shirley

EMANUEL HOSPICE:

My beloved hospice patients fill my heart with a sense of helplessness.  I embrace their personal fear, yearning for circumstances to change.  An overwhelming sense of inadequacy penetrates deeply into the core of my heart.   Join me in praying they will know the Shepherd who can offer pastures new.

Elena (30) has been fighting her personal battle with a brain tumour for over two years.  She lives with her husband and son of eight years old in one single room located in a village near Oradea.  She often has epileptic seizures, waking sometimes in the middle of the night, screaming or being totally confused. Her young son is witnessing this and her husband is deeply affected by the suffering of his wife and of what the future will hold.

Sorin (69) was a patient who suffered from lung cancer with bone and brain metastasis.  Sorin died last week. Adriana, our Hospice Psychologist spoke to Sorin about salvation before his death. Adriana (52), his wife, needs our prayers. After her husband’s illness started to spread throughout his body, he was no longer able to care for himself. At this point his wife’s mental health was severely affected; she commenced psychiatric treatment, now she is afraid that she will be unable to face life without him. She suffers from a heart condition and has undergone surgery. Sorin’s funeral was a few days ago and she is feeling distraught and fearful.  My colleague Adriana will continue to support her during these early days of loss.

Vasile (66) is a patient with a form of larynx cancer; he needs a gastrostomy in order to be fed, often experiencing extreme physical pain. His sister takes care of him (the patient is divorced) but they often disagree.   Recently, his lungs were affected by cancer also and Vasile often experiences the sensation that he is suffocating. This leads to anxiety problems, facing the patient with the reality of his eminent death. We pray he will eventually find peace in the Lord, especially during the pain and anxiety of daily life.

Bogdi (20) suffers from muscular dystrophy. He is cared for by his loving mother. His illness is progressive resulting in limited use of his hands.  Each day is a day of emotional pain for Bogdi and his loving Mum.

Luca (14) is a new patient we have taken into our care.  He has been diagnosed with tetraparesis. Cared for by his parents, this family, living in a village, need emotional support in caring for their beloved son.  There is no contentment in weakness; they are totally broken.

Iuliana (58) is scheduled to have a CT scan this week. She is experiencing a lot of discomfort but because she comes from a very poor and disadvantaged family, there is no finance for investigations, treatment or medication.  Iuliana has been diagnosed with cervical neoplasm, now in the advanced stages of terminal cancer. A relatively young lady suffering extreme pain from her illness. Comfort is a stranger to her as she has no one to support her or show her love; her sons do not want to know. A case of extreme poverty, a lady longing to be loved and comforted in her last days on this earthly journey.  Where is love?  Love alone can change this life.  I remember this precious sister and yes, I am wiping the tears from my keyboard. Luliana is holding out her hand to be loved, will you love enough to care?

Kevin is progressing slowly; small steps but still progress in being able to step on his foot where extensive surgery was performed. 

Our little Ella is very poorly. Her rare form of cancer is now causing her whole skin to be covered in a severe and painful rash. A teenager with no friends, no health.  Angelina, her Mum has a heavy cross to bear as her son Aurialian and Ella both suffer from the same form of cancer which is affecting most areas of their bodies.  I remember climbing eighteen flights of stairs to see this beloved family prior to the father’s death.  My friend Estera and I looked up to the very top floor and sighed as we commenced our ‘breathless journey’.  Please remember Ella. There is no cure or prospect of recovery.

Alex is now in Bucharest accompanied by his sister Cosmina. Alex contracted Covid-19; we cannot believe he has survived.  His condition remains unchanged, years in a coma, his health continues to deteriorate.  His weight loss and muscle wastage are cause for concern and his general medical condition continues to worsen.

SOFRONEA:

My adopted son Andrei and his young wife Ligia are progressing well in their first pastorate.  Andrei is working hard to build relationships within the surrounding villages.  Pray for him as he encounters obstacles, boulders of impossibilities.  He is young but his trust is in the One who has the power to keep.  Pray his faith will be strengthened and that villagers will commence attending the church.  Pray for the family of young Alex they still live in a disused train carriage.

IOCHEBED:

‘Why is this happening to me?’ A question addressed every day to my colleagues in Iochebed Counselling Centre. Young girls suffering perverse circumstances, recipients of unkindness, perhaps even unjust criticism.  Gabi is often faced with difficult decisions; each case study is different yet all have one common denominator – confusion.  In wisdom our team of three determine the limitations surrounding each individual case.  Seconds, minutes, hours, spent counselling and perhaps interrupting unhealthy plans.

Nicoleta (32) is nine weeks into her pregnancy and she is both heartbroken and confused.  A Gynaecologist confirmed the baby has three Hematomas, one being excessively large.  Nicoleta is totally bewildered and fearful and while we know we cannot always control situations, pray the pregnancy will be resolved and that Nicoleta will find the strength to endure.

Mihaela (18) gave birth to a baby boy during September. The baby is suffering from pneumonia and remains in hospital.  Mihaela is sad as she sits by the cot of her little one, listening to his cries.   Eighteen, a wife, a mother and her husband is in prison. Mihaela is totally alone, frightened, with nowhere to turn or no one to support her.  Each phase of life brings new fears. Pray the transforming power will shine light into the darkness of this searching young teenager.

Roxana (17) has just given birth to a baby boy of 3,25 kg named Ayan. She has no milk to feed her baby and is without resources to purchase dried milk.  Roxana came, bereft of hope, another young teenager of seventeen with no experience of life.  She attended our counselling classes in Iochebed where she has been encouraged to place her trust in the Lord.  The months ahead are bleak as there is a freezing winter ahead for all our teenage mothers.  Life is hard for these Roma girls. Their cupboards are never full, perhaps one loaf of stale bread will grace a makeshift table. Many nights I sit and quietly ask ‘Lord please explain why?’

Tudorita (22) a young mother of three children aged five, four and eighteen months.  The youngest child has developed a severe allergy.  Tudorita is unable to take the child to the doctor- another young mother without money for food.  The fences of poverty are high. Tudorita is overloaded with care, unable to find away to cover consultation fees and medication.  With tears streaming down her face, she confessed life was hard as her father died recently and her young heart is overwhelmed with grief. 

Elisabeth Elliot wrote: 

Thanksgiving and Christmas then, for us who love God, are not mere time outs from work days. They are a celebration of the gift of work itself, days on which we celebrate work by declaring our freedom. In a manner of speaking, we announce that on this one day we may rest from our work, and without pressure or guilt, we may be glad. A holiday is a holy day – meant for rejoicing in God.

We are about to enter the month of December.  Excited children will ask: ‘how many sleeps now?’ Or a loving parent will say: ‘close your eyes and dream of your surprise’.  I want you to see through the eyes of Dora who has worked with unwanted and forgotten children for twenty-one years.  Dora and I share a special love for these children and our days in the Orphanage Centre in Oradea where Tell Romania opened a Therapy Room for the children still live in my heart.   Life is somewhat different for these children; all they want for Christmas is someone to love them.  Let Dora tell her story: 

‘Has it really been TWENTY-ONE years since I first worked with the orphaned, abandoned children of Romania also children with severe disabilities?  As I reflect on those years, I want people to see through my eyes what it means to me personally to work with these special children.  To see the small changes that bring me joy, happiness and satisfaction.   To see how these children respond to even the smallest touch of a tearful cheek.  Their little faces light up, forming a smile when you hold their hand.   To see them “try” through small noises to express themselves.  To see even the smallest progress, depending on each child’s diagnoses and potential. To see how happy they are to come to the therapy class, jumping with glee and excitement saying “Dora will you give me a small chocolate, wafer or snack?”   They know it is there for them even if they make progress or not.   Seeing them respond to a happy song playing in the background.  How I wish you could see just how much a simple touch, a hug, a good word, a little attention, a show of affection, a small toy, a small candy or snack means. What joy you can bring to a little one who feels one sweet is too much them.  Yes, they feel different, they feel they are not worthy of “one sweet”. Little can be much and certainly to provide a treat for these precious children is a small ask. For other children these things are normal, accepted without thought or appreciation, but for these special children it is a “Wow” factor.  Working with this category of children takes a lot of patience, love, dedication, time, work and energy, repeating the same thing over and over many times until suddenly the child will learn and respond.  A small progress alone is my reward.  Thank you, Sister Shirley, for providing small treats for my kids’.

I have shared my heart regarding those I love and support.  Their wounds are deep, but if they don’t change my heart … then?  We live in a dark and broken world; someone must care. I ask you to set time aside each day to remember ‘even one’. We cannot change every situation or support every need but will you take one case to your heart – all I ask is: ‘remember them’.

“Thanksgiving—the giving of thanks—to God for all His blessings should be one of the most distinctive marks of the believer in Jesus Christ. We must not allow a spirit of ingratitude to harden our heart and chill our relationship with God and with others. Nothing turns us into bitter, selfish, dissatisfied people more quickly than an ungrateful heart. And nothing will do more to restore contentment and the joy of our salvation than a true spirit of thankfulness.” (Billy Graham)

Shirley, November 29, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Belfast. BT36 4QZ

‘Me! WHAT CAN I DO?’

‘Make us masters of ourselves that we may be the servants of others’. (Sir Alexander Patterson)

Alone, afraid, the cold night continues to fall, many lie awake longing for the morning. Homeless wanderers search for a free concrete slap on a frozen pavement where only 29% of the population are vaccinated. Will the dawn bring a new tomorrow or will their tomorrow never come? Their world is a daily battlefield as they constantly fight the battle of their mind.  Hope is fading fast until finally it will be gone and gone forever.   

It has been one of those weeks for ‘Shirley Moore’. I am trying to be strong but feel I am being tested; I need to take an in-depth look into my stewardship and motives.  These will have personal implications if I want to make a difference or seemingly do a worthwhile job.   Luke 22: 27 ‘I am among you as the one who serves.’  The Lord Jesus always took time to ‘stop’, was prepared to alter his own plans for the service of others. I think of the hardships my colleagues face on a day-to-day basis and ask you to reach out to take their hand, to lean on you as together we try to calm the storm, bring light into darkness, cradle broken hearts, comfort the lonely, love the abandoned. Will you serve those who have no identity or acceptance in society? 

Romania’s health system is torn apart by the pandemic.  Approximately five hundred people throughout Romania are dying every day.  There has been a total lockdown in place since Monday 25 October with universities, schools, centres closed.  Only those vaccinated can enter shopping malls or State Institutions during the hour stated within the current curfew.  Food and medicine are limited.   As from Monday 01 November, 2021 only those vaccinated can enter essential food shops; These restrictions will be in operation throughout the month of November.   The State are advising employers to terminate employment contracts for those unvaccinated.  Romania’s two thousand intensive care beds are full with patients waiting outside.  The first fifty critically ill patients have been transferred to hospitals in Hungary and Poland. Romania is being held in the grip of a wave of Covid-19 deadlier than anything experienced before.  There is a political crisis. ‘WHAT CAN WE DO?’ ‘ME! WHAT CAN I DO?’    

Lord, teach me to love,
Show me how to care for others
Cause my soul to burn within
For the fellowship of my brother
Only You can break the chains
That have held me for so long
Lord, You’re my hope, my only hope
Teach me to love.

A broken heart fighting an unbearable loss; those searching for a love they cannot find; a hardened heart in need of melting … there is no limit to the Power of the Cross.  ‘Lord, you and you alone are the hope of this broken world, in fact, their only hope. Please, teach me to love’.

EMANUEL HOSPICE:

There are so many different kinds of life in this world God has created.  My waking thought this morning was that I need to offer consolation to the children looking for Daddy, Mummy, the families of those who have lost a precious loved one.  To date, one hundred and twenty-six precious lives have lost their battle with cancer.  Our small team in Emanuel Hospice are exhausted. Pray for their protection during these days as the pandemic continues to sweep throughout Romania.  Our team sacrifice their time and indeed safety as they serve in love. They need strength to continue their chosen journey of discipleship.

Daniel (12) was first introduced to you for prayer in my August blog.   Diagnosed with a brain tumour, he remains in hospital for palliative chemotherapy. Dani is loved dearly by his dedicated parents who watch helplessly as his frail body continues to waste away day by day.  Their world, their dreams lie in ruins.  In consultation with the doctors, they have learned there is no further treatment available for their precious son. Daniel’s cousin is deeply affected as he feels he is going to lose his best friend. Life today is difficult; days are filled with pressure and we wander aimlessly in the wilderness of circumstances.  I ask you to accompany this precious family on their journey of pain and despair.

Kevin returned from Cluj where they have now removed the cast from his leg/foot.   Surgery was performed on five areas of his foot. He is now in the process of recovering and learning to walk. Until now he has been in a wheelchair. Christmas for this precious child is filled with pain. His Dad (Robi) was called home suddenly and without warning weeks before last Christmas.  Kevin and his mum have proved that their faith has provided a resting place in their deep sorrow.

Iuliana (58) diagnosed with cervical neoplasm, is now in advanced stages of terminal cancer.  A relatively young lady suffering extreme pain from her illness.  Comfort is a stranger to her as she has no one to support her or show her love; her sons do not want to know.  A case of extreme poverty, a lady longing to be loved and comforted in her last days on this earthly journey.  True rest, true peace is hers for the asking, we must ‘tell them’ of the one who came to save, who shed his precious blood, who gave his life.  ‘ME! WHAT CAN I DO?’  You alone know the answer.

Laszlo (13) diagnosed with a rare neuro-muscular condition.  Laszio is dearly loved by his devoted mother.  She is heartbroken as it is now difficult to communicate with her son. Watching helplessly is the hardest thing of all yet we find in the quietness of our heart, when we stop, we discover we are not alone, there is one who is patient with us, one who is willing to teach us day by day as our need requires.  He will restore our soul with his unfailing love and unending presence.

Floare (74) has passed away since I last wrote to you. Her wounds began to bleed severely, causing a serious infection. Her condition deteriorated rapidly and I knew from my own personal research, her time was short.  I still weep as I think of her last days of extreme pain and discomfort.  In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt ‘You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face’.

Ana (37), is suffering from colon cancer since the age of twenty-nine. She has no family apart from her brother who is her carer. The illness and the pandemic have caused anxiety problems and although she is able to walk reasonably well, she remains isolated at home, afraid she will catch Covid or that her illness worsens.  Alone and struggling with her thoughts is difficult as she has only minimal social support.

Florian (68) diagnosed with pulmonary cancer. Florian was raised in the church and attended religious services regularly, but during recent years, he slipped away from his faith. He started to smoke and is often verbally abusive to his wife.   He now faces the reality that he will die soon and is finding it difficult to repent from his sins and wrongful ways. He displays a cynical attitude when our Hospice Team speak to him about the things of God.  He is afraid of death, often becoming angry as he directs his emotions upon his wife. Pray the Lord will melt this heart of stone.

Nicolae, also diagnosed with pulmonary cancer.  Nicolae and his schizophrenic wife were brought before you previously.  During the past moths his condition has been stable, but sadly, his situation worsened recently. His daughter, Mirela (36), who also has a disorder in the form of obsessive phobic disorder, suffered a shock when her father began to feel worse, resulting in admission to a psychiatric hospital. Her father died while she was an inpatient.   She is unable to accept and cannot find the strength to recover. She was sedated while in the hospital and secured to her bed owing to an episode of psychomotor agitation. Mirela is now on strong medication. However, when you talk with her, you can recognise she is absent in her mind and unable to concentrate or listen.  Mirela is still young but needs to conquer her fears by trying to do the things that she fears most. A tragic situation, a sad home, a mother and daughter controlled by fear.  ‘ME! WHAT CAN I DO?’   Hold them in your heart in prayer.

MY ADOPTED SON PASTOR ANDRI WRITES:  

Sister Mirela (47), a member of Sofronia Baptist Church. opened her heart and her home to two girls from a local orphanage and also to the son of her brother who had died.  Mirela had undergone two Covid tests recently as she was suffering from Pneumonia.   Both Covid tests were negative.  She was receiving ongoing treatment from a Neurologist who visited on a regular basis.  During routine treatment, Mirela died suddenly.  The placement regarding the three children remains unclear.   Ema (19) is unable to take care of herself as she is retarded with other ongoing problems.  Mihaela (15) will possibly have to enter foster care.  Laurentiu (16) is also unable to take care of himself.  Mirela lived in the same house (separate rooms) as her brother’s family where there are also three children. His wife has been suffering from cancer for the past seven years and at present is very sick.  There is no one available to care for the six children.   A Christian organisation from Arad has been overseeing the situation as they have been supporting this family during the past months.

Covid-19 also claimed the life of a fifty-six-year-old lady from Sofronia.  She was admitted to ICU IN Drobeta Turnu Severin Hospital.  During this period, her daughter Becky gave birth to her third child.  Becky learned of the loss of her dear mother during the birth of her baby daughter as she mingled tears and smiles with the reality of life.

Aware my September blog was longer than usual, I am trying to condense the needs this month. However, that does not diminish the depth of concern or the commitment of my heart, my inner soul.  My case studies I share with you, bring into your life so many with critical needs. The word ‘through’ is my retreat.  There is only one who can take us through illness, sadness, disappointment, poverty.  No one would choose these examples as a lifestyle.  We however know that whatever we are going through, we have the Lord.  A few young teenagers needing to know the Lord will bring them through.

IOCHEBED:

Alexandra (19) with two small children, a little boy of seventeen months and baby girl aged two months.  The baby girl has developed a severe hernia requiring immediate surgery.  Alexandra is very concerned for her little one.  They barely have enough money for food and winter firewood, how can they afford the cost incurred in the required surgery?

Iasmina (16) gave birth two months ago to a baby girl who is constantly ill.  Iasmina lives with her mother and younger sister as her father died two years ago.  She is very fragile and fearful of her future; she requires constant encouragement to enable her to face this new role of motherhood.  A child herself, may the Lord give Iasmina strength and wisdom to raise her baby daughter. We will continue to monitor this situation and provide the special formula of dried milk she is unable to afford for the baby.

Estera (16) came to our centre in Suceava asking for a scan to confirm if she was pregnant. The evidence of a life growing within her body was a shock to this sixteen-year-old.  Estera wants to keep the baby.  The father of the baby has promised to stand by her side and together they have committed to care for the baby. We will counsel this young couple during the period of pregnancy and offer support during the first year of the baby’s life. 

Lucia has three children, giving birth to a baby girl in August.  Unfortunately, she is unable to feed her as she does not have milk. It is impossible for Lucia to buy dried milk as she is without resources.  We have made a decision to support her with two boxes of dried milk, a supply of pampers monthly.  May God help her in this time of need!

Alexandra is ‘Mummy’ to five children.  Alexandra is facing financial difficulties daily.  Her husband refuses to support his family and is gone from home on a regular basis, leaving Alexandra totally alone without food or firewood for her five little ones.  The children are constantly sick as there is no money available for the long-term treatment required to help them cope with illness and daily viruses. Alexandra is a loving mother but in great need of support to raise her children.

And yet, another ‘Divine Appointment’.   In ‘freezing’ conditions it was our joy to deliver firewood to Georgina thanks to the heart of a couple from the Limavady area.   Presently, Georgina’s husband has been released from prison, under strict house arrest for the next four years.   He will only receive permission to work for the benefit of the community.   Thank you for bringing warmth and the evidence of God’s love to this precious family.

CASA GRACE:

When God asks something of us, He sends His word to the specifics of our days entering the remains of our day.  Last month I shared with you regarding the Dickensian conditions a father, mother and two daughters call home where a teenage girl of seventeen has never known the comfort of a bed, cuddling up in the warmth of a duvet.  The Lord spoke to the heart of a brother who answered the call and met this need.  This week, a Day Bed will be delivered, enabling the family to have a place to sit during the day.  In the evening it will be opened to reveal a bed for the two little girls.  The storehouse of unsearchable riches has been opened beyond their wildest dreams.  Thank You. 

Expressive black eyes greet you as you enter Roma village homes in Romania.  Black eyes with a fixed gaze on the food bags wondering what ‘goodies’ are for ‘me’.  Tiny ones who receive so little that even a banana is an amazing treat.  Yet these Roma homes are filled with peace, furthermore, also acceptance of what is and not what might have been.  Today, I was in pensive mood, remembering a verse quoted to me often by my Mum.  Isa 30: 21 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.  I have lost count how many times this incredible verse has spoken to me throughout my lifetime, especially as to where I am today.  ‘ME! WHAT CAN I DO?’  In my own strength, absolutely nothing!  There are days I am totally unable to handle situations, my timid nature prefers the background, my feeble mind is unable to accept the circumstances that enter without invitation.   At times, I am so perplexed I do not know how to proceed.   Only one course of action – to wait.  Once I know how God is leading and I have been obedient then I can continue my journey without fear that God Himself is Light in this journey of darkness for so many precious people.

The Na family consist of a mother and her nine-year-old son.  They live in a village in the home of a relative.  There is no such luxury of a road – only a water-logged path. During the winter the path freezes over owing to the heavy thunder storms; their thin-soled shoes sink into the mud.   The roof is totally destroyed resulting that when the heavy rains come, the rains come through the open roof.   Her husband died twelve months ago and they are totally alone living in unimaginable conditions. The mother struggles to survive, hiding her grief and deep sorrow.  We recognise she is in the depth of despair and displays signs of deep depression. She confesses she does not have a future perspective. She has no money to purchase wood for the winter. When our team from Casa went to view the circumstances, they stood in disbelief – the house was damp and freezing.  The family do not attend church.  This mother and son are only one of many.  I look around the comfort of my own home; today it is extremely wet and cold, I have heat, food – would I exchange places?  Is their place a place we could call home? 

A divorced father and his two daughters, namely the Chi family, live with his parents.  His wife abandoned the family at the beginning of 2021, after becoming involved in another relationship. The two daughters have relinquished their attachment to the mother, they live in disbelief of her decision and are filled with resentment.  Their relationship is tense as they support their father during the recent divorce proceedings filed by his wife. The elderly grandmother has resumed care for her son and granddaughters.

The Fa family consist of a daughter and a son. They too live in a derelict house in a village on the outskirts of Oradea. The mother worked as a dressmaker but has now developed health problems.  She has been diagnosed as suffering from advanced stages of glaucoma.  The father works in the building trade and purchased this very old house approximately fifteen years ago. At that time the house was uninhabitable. During the fifteen years, the father has carried out necessary renovations but owing to lack of finance, is unable to complete the work.  His wife’s condition demands high medical bills to be paid and daily medication is expensive.  They do not know the luxury of NHS in Romania.  He is trying to finish various parts of the work by working at home in the evening and Saturday. The children attend school and are committed pupils wanting to learn.  The daughter has to cycle four km to the railway station in order to take a train to enable her to attend secondary school every day. The son graduated secondary school with good results and he waits to receive a university scholarship.

Mariana made a quick stop on route home after her final round of chemotherapy.  The entire village were suffering from Covid-19 (including the seven children). We give thanks to the Lord for His watchful eye over this precious family.  Mariana is waiting for surgery, but although her surgery is urgent, conditions in Romania are making it impossible for it to proceed.  There is a shortage of beds, medication and staff. Work is continuing on their new home. Our aim is that this precious family may be able to spend Christmas together in their new home.

The Casa Grace families receiving from our feeding programme teach me to be ‘thankful’.  Many bereft of love, security, health, finance.  Many walking a constant dark valley of fear.  Many too weak to stand.  Only hours ago, a lady (mid-forties) travelled sixty miles to ask for food. She learned of our programme through the local High School in Oradea and came asking help for her terminally ill husband and children.  Monika was overwhelmed today and wrote:   ‘I have been answering phone calls throughout the day,  trying to calm people… the panic grows rapidly and people are filled with fear’.  Yet, these precious people seem to accept all that life has thrown their way and even in the fear of loneliness there is that faint smile that melts my heart, causing me to plead my cause for my brothers and sisters.  I give thanks to the Lord that our three feeding programmes in Casa Grace, Emanuel Hospice and Iochebed can and will continue with your support during 2022 and that together we can turn mourning into joy for many.  We are a family; the family of God and we serve together.  A closing note from Monika: ‘Thank you very much for taking care of these people with the hope to save them and keep them in His grace.  May He surround you and feel you with His peace and Joy’.

‘Our wills are ours, to make them thine’.  (Lord Alfred Tennyson)

Shirley, October 29, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

There’s Still Time

Note: This blog is longer than normal and contains some very distressing news from Romania, so Shirley encourages you to take a moment to pray before reading.

In preparing my heart to write to you this month, I was reminded of the words of Augustine: ‘The very pleasures of human life men acquire by difficulties’.   Many of us find ourselves sitting in God’s waiting room, trying to mark out the limits, the meaning of acceptance with peace.  Perhaps our personal ‘Path of Suffering’ is not as severe as the precious people you will come to know and love through my writing.  There is still time to be ‘moved by compassion’ for the destitute, forsaken, who know only a path of suffering and pain.  You and I together, can show them the love of God by our response, help them discover God’s mercy through their pain.  Troubled hearts, confused minds, forgotten children, cast aside, confined to a cot of loneliness.  From my heart to yours I say: ‘There’s Still Time’.

‘Hamilton, I can’t do this anymore, there is too much pain’. Email after email contained disturbing and heart rendering situations.  Diagnosis of cancer ravaging bodies, the reality of one hundred and sixteen precious lives in the care of our Hospice Team lost their battle with cancer, lives whose daily companion is fear, worry, resentment. They suffer in silence, alone.   I felt ashamed of my outburst and quietly asked the Lord to hear the cry of my heart, help me recognise the need, take it as mine and offer myself in service wherever and whatever is needed.  Who is number one in God’s waiting room? I am.

Emanuel Hospice: 

My friends are walking the path of suffering just now; in the blackness of their exhaustion their beloved colleague Claudia was called home.  My dear friend Estera wrote from her hurting heart: Our colleague Dr. Pele Claudia Aniela went to be with the Lord after a long-term battle with cancer. Claudia was our Hospice doctor since 2018 and in the last months of her life became our patient.  We ask for your prayers for Dacian, (Claudia’s husband) and their little girls Oana (10) and Maria (8). Pray for God’s comfort at this time of loss. Oana and Maria are filled with sunless hours, dark shadows fill their wee hearts and minds. The nights are long as they lie awake thinking of ‘Mummy’.  Please pray their childish hearts will know comfort.  My memories of Claudia are precious.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new’.

My Precious Catalina lost her battle with cancer, she suffered greatly, being in a state of unconsciousness nearing the end of her days.  Catalina was discharged from hospital, Adriana (physiologist) and Monika (nurse) continued home care, offering comfort and consolation to her family.  She died suddenly.  My visits with Catalina were special days, she loved to share stories relating to her family. We read the Word of God together. I pray we meet in eternity.

Maria (58), diagnosed with a brain tumour twelve months ago.  During this period, she has lost her ability to speak and is now only able to pronounce a few words, mumbling the remainder.  It is difficult to communicate with her, however. She understands what is said but struggles to express herself. Also, she is paralysed down her right side, unable to move her right hand and foot and is totally dependent on the help of her husband and son.   Her son, George (23) is in danger of losing his eyesight relating to a condition since birth.

Floare (65), diagnosed with pharynx and oesophagus cancer, with tracheostomy. Owing to a swelling around her neck area she is having secretions, causing her to choke.   She is in excruciating pain, the oncologist prescribed palliative chemotherapy which is causing extreme weakness as a side effect. She is unable to walk unaided and her speech is limited.  As the oncologist predicted, there is no improvement, as she is struggling with many additional health problems. Floare came from a Pentecostal background, but was estranged from the church after her marriage.  Her relationship with the Lord became a distant memory.  She believes this illness is a punishment from God for leaving the church and has started to seek the Lord with her whole heart. Pray that she will find an inner peace and forgiveness in the Lord, especially during these days when her illness is evolving very fast.

Floare (74) has breast cancer. She has undergone a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  A few weeks ago, a wound appeared on her chest, soon it began to spread, becoming deeper, eating into her flesh.  In all my years of involvement with Emanuel Hospice I have never encountered the image in this case study – it is unimaginable.  I wept for hours to think of the pain, her discomfort. What if this was my Mum?    The wound is spreading rapidly to her neck and back area.  The pain must be indescribable.   The oncologist is unable to confirm if this is a side effect from the radiotherapy or perhaps related to the form of cancer.  ‘There’s still time’ for someone to care.  Is it you?

Mariana (58), (August blog) needs prayer now more than ever before.  She has finally accepted the offer of chemotherapy (refusing it in the past), after being advised her life could be extended if she proceeds.  Presently she is feeling nauseous and extremely weak, sadly she is struggling with suicidal thoughts, declaring that she no longer has faith in God and questions her beliefs. Pray for my young sister Adriana, an amazing young girl with a heart after God and for her patients.  This is one of her most difficult cases.   What a ministry!  What an opportunity.  Eternity is a reality!  Pray Adriana will know God’s wisdom.

Dani (12), (August Blog) is now in hospital for chemotherapy.  Dani has been diagnosed with a brain tumour; at present he is very ill with pneumonia. His frail body collapsing under the strain.  Mum and Dad watch helplessly, their  hearts are filled with deep sorrow. 

Iuliana (58) diagnosed with cervical neoplasm is poverty-stricken.  Enduring an impoverished life of total destitution, she lives with two of her sons who also have issues.  Penniless and bereft of love, there is no support from her sons.  ‘There’s Still Time’.  Time to take a few moments out of our busy life to ask the Lord to love, to comfort Luliana.

Kevin has undergone surgery, although not as planned.  Pray for his recovery.

IOCHEBED: 

Ani has seven children.  Her life is filled with trials and she greets each new day with a deep sense of fear.  Fear of what another day will bring her way.  Her husband does not have permanent employment but is prepared to work when and where available.  The fact he does not have stable employment creates endless hardships for this family of nine.  Most days, seven little mouths are hungry, there is little or no food.   David (7) was diagnosed with two heart issues and requires heart surgery.  The doctors have confirmed if there is no intervention, there is a possibility David will die. The title of my blog: ‘There’s Still Time’ to hold this little boy in our hearts. To date, we have paid for the transport to Bucharest and will cover hospital and medication expenses as the Lord sends in his time and purpose. David has been transferred to another hospital for a deeper evaluation and investigations. Tell Romania have covered this need to date but ‘There’s Still Time’.  We want David to have a normal life, experience the joy of play, attend school. Updates will follow.

Nicoleta is ‘Mama’ to nine children, she came to Iochebed humbly asking for prayerful support.  Her husband is violent and it is difficult to resist his verbal and physical abuse.  She lives in constant fear and trembling, days when she wants to ‘run away’ but out of love for her children remains. Through her tears she sobbed: ‘Can you help me? In love and wisdom, we advised her to seek help from the authorities and for police protection.  Nicoleta is aware of the centre for abused women but knows this is not the answer.  Gabi has commenced one to one counselling sessions as Nicoleta is in deep depression, harbouring suicidal thoughts. Broken people in need of mending.  ‘There’s Still Time’.

Iasmina (17) is in urgent need of our support. Her baby girl of six weeks has developed serious health issues. The little one’s cries break Iasmina’s young heart.  After a medical consultation, it has been confirmed the problem is related to dried milk.  The baby requires a special formula which is expensive.  Iasmina asked for our help as she is without resources and unable to afford the formula recommended by the hospital. We are blessed to serve these mothers and we will help her in every way possible especially with the dried milk so the baby girl can develop healthily. Please pray for Iasmina and her baby. Iasmina is so young for this responsibility.

Ana (our Ana and her 4 children) was becoming increasingly concerned as her baby girl of nineteen months was losing consciousness.  It would happen suddenly and without warning.  Ana is alone; her four children are her life and she has sacrificed much.  Aware of the risk incurred she came to Gabi requesting the possibility of a consultation with a paediatrician.  Contact was made and arrangements for various tests have been implemented.  We await the results.  Little Alexandra Maria needs our prayers. ‘Jesus, tender shepherd hear me, bless Thy little lamb tonight’.  Make this your prayer.

PENTRU COPII shares its first case study from the heart of a Mum.

Maximus (Max) – Dora affectionally calls him the ‘Gladiator’.  Although confined to a wheelchair through severe disability, Max is a fighter.   His mum speaks of her shattered dreams; forsaken by her husband, left alone:  I quote:

‘For a woman the most beautiful thing in life is a child. Dreaming if she will have a boy or a girl, perhaps a large family.  My wish was to have a boy and my wish was fulfilled. A handsome, smart and adorable boy. But life brings trials at a time of joy.   My doctor was careless, need I say more?   I had to comply. I learned to pray for my child’s life and to have the strength to survive the huge pain I felt pounding in my chest, followed by anger, fear and disappointment. I was confused; I didn’t know what to do, where to turn.   I prayed by the side of my child’s incubator, seeing how the needles were bruising his tiny fragile veins, he was so small, I couldn’t even hold him in my arms, I couldn’t hug him, soothe his suffering.  When I left him, I kept wondering does he know I’m gone? These thoughts overwhelmed me day and night, then arriving home with a seemingly healthy baby, I became an overprotective mother. I did not let anyone approach him, touch him, I wanted him to be mine and mine alone, to be able to finally enjoy that I can hold him in my arms. During the day and at night I would watch him sleep to make sure he was breathing. Then I found out the cruel truth. My child will have problems, disabilities and will require treatment, ongoing therapy. Max endured many forms of treatment and therapy.  He is now twelve years of age and once more I am afraid.  He is only twelve but my years, my strength have already gone, I find it difficult to cope with the ongoing trials, financial problems, outings together I can no longer afford.  The fact my husband has forsaken us causes deep sadness.  I am frustrated and wonder, where is the One who can move mountains? What will the future hold? Will I cope with the ongoing struggles?  I must find the power to resist my fears.  Max is all I have in this world, I must remain strong, he needs me!  Must, must and must!!!!  I find it hard … very hard. It’s hard to be a Woman!  Especially a single one’.

Therapy time in the Abandoned Baby Wing is a special time for Dora.  Passing by the cots a tiny hand could be seen reaching through the slots of a wooden cot.  A premature baby boy (Florin) lay crying, he had been abandoned by his mother in hospital after giving birth to him. His little form was like a shaft of wheat, a tiny piece of corn blowing in the wind. Alone, forsaken, no one to love him, this is his life until?  ‘There’s Still Time’.  Take time to cuddle, hug these forgotten babies in your heart.  Dora welcomes new children for therapy sessions, there is nowhere else for them to go unless they pay.  One area of concern is the infection rate is scaling high in and around Oradea. What if the centre has to close yet again?

CASA GRACE: 

Our precious Mariana needs prayer.  The numbers of those infected with Covid-19 continue to rise throughout Romania.  The village where Mariana and her family reside are recording a high number of people infected.  Mariana’s seven children have all tested positive, a serious situation and – I express my concern to you – this very sick lady must care for her seven treasures.   Immediate restrictions have been implemented; the village school will close with the possibility of curfew or lockdown in many towns. Mariana’s Computerised Tomography (CT) scan is clear. However, there is an urgent requirement for further surgery as her previous surgery has opened forming an unwanted hernia.  Monika is in contact with Mariana every day. They speak by telephone and our dear friend has expressed her fear and sadness at facing another surgery.  In consultation with the doctors a decision has been made to postpone surgery in order to free Mariana from the use of colostomy bags.  Cover Mariana in prayer, her immune system is extremely weak and she is highly vulnerable.  Love is an unwritten language to this precious lady, ‘There’s Still Time’ to express our love whatever our language.

Times and seasons change, people come and go, we may never know the end of the matter of those who come the way of Casa Grace.  Only eternity will reveal.  This week, a lady came back who was helped ten years ago.  The girls of Casa had left a lasting imprint on her life. It’s not just a feeding programme, it is about listening to the painful trials, the strange happenings, those whose plans, desires, hopes lie in ruins.  And so, we throw out a lifeline asking God to make us a blessing to those who live in a stage of nothingness.    A father and mother with two daughters. Home for this family is a flat in disrepair where the kitchen remains unpainted even though they have lived there for many years.  There is barely enough money for food; the finer things in life are unimportant.  Both parents work but receive an extremely small salary, so there is just enough to survive.  The father suffering from diabetes is weak, but still he works to feed his family.  The teenage daughter sleeps on a thin mattress on the floor. There is no money to purchase a bed for her and I am sure as any other teenage girl she dreams of her own bedroom; this teenager doesn’t even have a bed!  After careful consideration we added this family to the Tell Romania feeding programme.  They stood speechless that someone should care.  Their message to you: ‘We have no proper words to thank you for the food we receive. We consider this food a gift from God.  Thank you’.

Another family with five children between eleven and two, living in a rented flat with two rooms.  Two rooms for seven people! The father works while the mother remains at home to care for her children.   Mum is very sick and had to pay a hospital consultation. After investigation(s) doctors are unable to reach a conclusion. We stretch out our hand to help them during this difficult time. 

Eight hungry children living in a tiny flat within a small town are excited when it is ‘Casa Grace Food Day’.   Their mother suffers from many health issues and is currently receiving a temporary State Sickness Allowance.   One of her daughters graduated from our sewing class and has been successful in securing employment.  Another arm of the ministry of Tell Romania.  The Vocational Training Room under the supervision of my friend Dana, not only teaches modules to distinction standard but impacts lives with the gospel.  Coffee Time is a time when they hear the Word of God and know eternity is a reality.  This precious family feel so blessed, although poor and desolate, they share their food with many needy families within their local church.  This week a brother sent me a text offering the money covering the cost of the remaining tailoring chairs.  God’s Divine Appointment.

Our love reaches a young couple with one child.  The father was diagnosed with cancer and has undergone surgery.  He is unable to work and is waiting on various tests to be carried out.  There is no comparable NHS in Romania to provide all the treatment free.  All the money they have was used for surgery and medication.  There is insufficient money to purchase food. They too are blessed from your hand.

Those of you who know me, know my total dependence upon ‘God’s Divine Appointments’.  God makes no mistakes.  I have learned, through difficult lessons, painful and personal situations that it is not about me or my plans, rather it is all about the Lord and my total submission to his ‘Divine Appointment’.  Would I be where I am today ‘if’?  I treasure my ‘quiet times, my alone times, where it is just the Lord and I.  This leads me to my closing summation:

Is the seed yet in the barn? yea, as yet the vine, and the fig tree, and the pomegranate, and the olive tree, hath not brought forth: from this day will I bless you. (Haggai 2: v19).  ‘From this day forth I will bless you’.  Eight words that would change the life of a young teenager as he read the Word of God during his lunch break (gulping a sandwich) on a June afternoon. We can go on line to view events of history during September, 1966 but for a young Hamilton Moore, Saturday, September 24, 1966, was the day he entered God’s arena. Fifty-Five years of ‘arena experiences’ –   I need to run to keep up with him; his passion remains.

In closing, I quote the words of Hudson Taylor: ‘Difficulties afford a platform upon which He can show Himself.  Without them, we could never know how tender, faithful, and almighty our God is’.  I voice my ‘Amen’ to this, I have proved it to be so. 

Shirley. (30.09.21)

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

Before the Sun Goes Down

Did I live with love and grace
And dry the tears on some small face?
Did I drink the sunlight in
Look on loosing as a win?
Did I take the highest road?
Did I repay the debt I owed?
Search me, search me now
I pray and wash my every sin away

REFRAIN
Before the purple sunset skies
Before the carpe diem (seize the day) dies
Before I close my eyes to sleep and pray
Dear Lord, my soul to keep
Before I reach the end of day
I’ve got to know I’ve walked Your way
Before the darkness shades the ground
Before the sun goes down

Did I keep my word today
And mean the things you heard me say?
Did I make sincere amends with those
I wronged, my kin and friends?
Did I seek to be more real
And verbalize the pains I feel?
Did I think on what is good
And help my brother when I could?

As I reflect, I must confess that
I might not have past some test
And I fell short in everything
For my poor flesh is limiting
And I regret my whole life through
I did not spend much time with you
But if there’s time and one more breath
And one more hour of daylight left

(Suzanne Gaither Jennings, Michael G. and Tanya Sykes)

A footnote from Shirley:  

I have spent days writing this painful blog, a blog filled with dark corners, people spiritually in darkness, earnestly searching for small mercies, pleading for someone to care.  Children eating crumbs from a table.  Their world is fractured.  Samuel Rutherford, in his letters, wrote: ‘Whoever seeks the world to be their bed shall at best find it short and ill-made’.  With Christian love and the hope of the gospel, their world can be changed.  ‘There’s Still Time’.


The hard road of emptiness

‘THE HARD ROAD OF EMPTINESS’.

‘Do more than exist, live.
Do more than touch, feel.
Do more than look, observe.
Do more than read, absorb.
Do more than hear, listen.
Do more than thank, ponder.
Do more than talk, say something.  

(John H. Rhoads).

‘Live, feel, observe, absorb, listen, ponder’.  It takes a deep seeded depth of love to embrace these words. As I do, I ask myself:  ‘How deep is my love today?’  I confess writing the monthly update is emotional and draining, but love, real love is not merely an emotion, it is a motion, simply because real love is love in action.  John Wesley wrote: ‘Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can’.   ‘As long as I can’ is my opening prayer each morning. 

Beautiful rays of sunshine greeted me this morning, yet I know for many it is winter in their hearts.  The cold winds of darkness, emptiness are undeniable mountains refusing to disappear.  If only they would ‘commit’ their pain, suffering, worry, anxiety, burden, loss to the Lord.  C.H. Spurgeon’s exposition of 1 Peter 5: 7 is clear and instructive: ‘Commit thy way unto the Lord.  Roll the whole burden of life upon the Lord.  Leave with Jehovah not thy present fretfulness merely, but all thy cares; in fact, submit the whole tenor of thy way to him.  Cast away anxiety, resign thy will, submit thy judgment, leave all with the God of all’.   There are times I feel I am stumbling in the darkness but this brings me closer to a greater understanding of more love for the Lord. I repeat: ‘As long as I can’.  

Many of our families, patients are from the Orthodox religion.  Their morning prayer includes this petition: ‘Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all’.  Wow!  I sat down this morning and analysed the words: ‘all that comes to me’.   All that comes to me is certainly by Divine Purpose and I know (while painful) I must continue to love, sharing the Good News and supporting my children, patients and families.  How can I not when I read?

Ionut, (John) (22) diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, causing him to be permanently bedridden.   Ionut has been in our care since he was ten years of age, although recently we noticed he was very weak. A sweet boy who, when asked what he wanted to mark his twenty-first birthday, replied: ‘A Giant Pizza please’.  Ionut died on the 17th of August after years of pain and suffering.  His condition worsened with the years bringing unimaginable complications. Ionut inherited this condition from his mother who also suffers from muscular dystrophy. Although her condition has worsened, she was motivated to fight for her beloved son.  His sick mother and father who has one leg amputated lovingly cared for him. It is winter in this home. Our Hospice team are concerned they will not cope with the loss. They miss his smile, with life having no meaning, as the purpose of living has gone.  This precious couple need our support in prayer.

Berti (13) and Alex (5), two brothers with tetra paresis. There are three other siblings who assist in caring for their brothers. They are a precious family who live in extreme poverty.  A family bereft of health, food, clothing, shelter, they have nothing to call their own.   

Kevin is scheduled for foot surgery this week.  Remember our wee gem and his mum Gabi who is still in the depths of grief from the loss of her beloved Robi.  Pray the surgery will be successful (without complications) enabling Kevin to finally be able to walk again.  I know Uncle Wesley, Uncle Peter and Auntie Mary, (Falkirk), Auntie Barbara, Auntie Sheila and many others pray for Kevin and will be holding him close in heart. 

Dani (12) the young boy with a brain tumour is continuing to do palliative chemotherapy. Dani is confined to bed permanently now and is very thin, with virtually no appetite. His parents are devastated; their tears would fill a reservoir. They would rather suffer themselves than to see their precious darling wasting away before their eyes.  This is real pain and it hurts to watch.

I find these particular cases harrowing, lives with overwhelming circumstances, obstacles.  The mountains are high, vision impaired, the climb is much too steep.  Their eyes are dark and they stare ahead in fear wondering ‘what next?’  There is only one who can smooth the rough and uneven paths, level the high and towering mountain.  Can we bring light to these darkened hearts?  Will you hold out your hand to one of these precious families? 

Estera, Emanuel Church Hospice Team, writes: ‘Sister Shirley, thank you so much for holding us in prayer. We are blessed to be held in prayer as we care for our patients’. 

Another Mariana (58), ovarian cancer, receiving palliative care from our dedicated Hospice team.  Mariana knows her time on earth is limited.  Despair, panic attacks and depression crowd her mind, thinking that her illness is a punishment from God. Mariana was a very religious person prior to her illness and harbours feelings of resentment towards God, saying she is unable to pray now.  She questions the goodness of God, doubting the way He choose to manage this world.  Pray for Adriana in her visits to Mariana that she will point her the way to find peace; that she and her family may be brought to faith, to know the Lord, that He can be with her even in these circumstances.

Caterina (my dear friend) has been admitted to hospital.  I felt in my own heart from a recent photograph shared with me, all was not well.  Caterina began to choke when sipping water and swallowing food.  A sign that her neck tumour may be growing inwardly. She will start a session of radiotherapy.  This dear lady has become so precious to me, I love her dearly and want her to know the Lord I love.  She still asks ‘When will Sister Shirley return to visit with me?’

Working in fields or fruit farms is ‘normal’ to Roma girls, these are certainly not fields of peace or contentment but fields of necessity.  An arduous journey of struggle for many elderly ladies, the work involves strenuous effort and at the end of the day, their breaking backs and heavy feet make another arduous journey – the road ‘home’.  Constantly weighed down by the weight of their circumstance, they ask only for one thing – ‘change’. They lack joy and their tears seem to go on forever; the anxiety in their heart is overwhelming.  The Word of God brings a wealth of knowledge and a legacy of joy.  My prayer is that through the love shown by our team in Iochebed, they will realise the power of prayer and that prayer changes things. 

Claudia has a baby girl of one and became pregnant again four months after the birth of her baby daughter who was delivered by caesarean section.  Claudia requested the possibility of a natural birth for her second pregnancy. However, on August 01st a baby boy was delivered also by caesarean section.  This precious little darling only survived one day as he suffered a major heart attack.  Claudia is broken, only God can wipe her tears and heal her broken heart.

Georgiana (18) married with two children is facing days of disbelief and hardship.  A young teenager with the responsibility of two precious children.  Her husband has been arrested and she is totally with no family or loved ones to support her and her babies.  The cold Romanian winter will soon make an unwelcome return.  Georgiana is overwhelmed by fear that her babies with freeze to death as she has no money for firewood and is bereft of support of any kind.  A few logs of wood would bring heat to precious little ones, cook a soup or stew.  The dark walls of circumstances are crowding in. With her back against the wall, Georgiana has nowhere to hide or to run.  Our girls in Iochebed are waiting with outstretched arms of love.  Let us buy wood for tiny toes and fingers to be warm.  They have no Daddy to hold them.

Didina, (40) has ten, yes, you read correctly, ten children.  Didina came to Iochebed in shock and disbelief that she is pregnant with her eleventh child.  This was unwelcome news for her and she is in total shock. Her last pregnancy was extremely difficult and she was on medication throughout her term.   Two years ago, she suffered facial paresis; it is still noticeable as she has not healed completely.   A lady of forty with ten children, washing, ironing, cooking for twelve every day, in her eleventh pregnancy with serious medical issues.  Didina needs the Lord to strengthen her weak body and frail mind.

Elena (30) a single mother with a five-year-old child came to Iochebed requesting a pregnancy test.  She confessed her desire if the test was positive, she wanted an abortion.  After much prayer within our team, the test result was negative. Pray that all the information she heard in our counselling classes will change her heart about abortion.

A few days ago, my friend Wesley and I were reminiscing on some favourite hymns we enjoyed playing in Castlereagh Baptist Church. As we ended our conversation, I sat down at my piano and began to play:

‘Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end’.

I can hear Wesley saying: ‘Shirley, maintain a quiet heart and keep trusting’.

My monthly blog is written over many days of tearful consideration.  I find myself questioning why so much suffering is allowed?  As I prepare lunch or our evening meal, pictures of my families occupy my thoughts, those who do not even have a morsel on the end of their fork to quench the hunger pains of tiny tummies, dark eyes looking up, longing for food.  But then, many don’t even have forks; they gladly eat with their fingers. The next time we sit down to eat remember the team at Casa Grace who lovingly prepare weekly food parcels for the endless stream of mothers, fathers who knock our door pleading for food. Pray for the team, as they also seek for opportunities to share news of the One who is the bread of life.

A cruel and violent area is home to one our families where the conditions are of a vicious nature.  It is unsafe to leave children unattended. Therefore, in order to protect her little girl from harm, one mother makes many sacrifices.  They are extremely poor, no treasured possessions or surplus of money. In fact, the food they receive from our feeding programme enables the family to have money for utility, or medical expenses.  These days, I find myself thinking of the little mouths that would gladly eat the ‘left overs’ we disregard.

Eight children run excitedly to Casa Grace, their faces beaming with joy.  They can’t wait to receive ‘food’.  Their eager, hungry eyes gaze in disbelief at the bags of food.  The food is a lifeline to them as without it they would find it impossible to survive.  The mother cooks for her large family and manages well on a low family income.  As we prepare our personal case study representing each family, we identify the fear of tomorrow these families harbour in their hearts.  Pray for our team as they counsel and instruct these precious people that their amazing influence will teach them the true meaning of resting in the calmness of his presence.  Robert Louis Stevenson ends one of his prayers with these words:

‘Help us with the grace of courage that we be none of us cast down while we sit lamenting over the ruins of our happiness.  Touch us with the fire of Thine altar, that we may be up and doing, to rebuild our city.’

Neli, Casa Grace Team, writes: It is not a coincidence these families came to be assisted by Casa Grace.   We want to help them as much as we can, but more importantly to be an example and a witness for them. This would not be possible without your help and support. We would be unable to offer food without you and your friends who donate money enabling us to purchase for the feeding programme.  Thank you in the name of Casa Grace and our families.  Please extend our thanks to those who donate that their hunger may be satisfied. Sister Shirley, may God bless you and take care of you! May God give you and your supporters good health! May God reward your sacrifice which you do for the ministry in Romania and in particular for Casa’s ministry.

OUR PRECIOUS MARIANA although 70 kilometres drive from Oradea continues to receive daily from our feeding programme.  Mariana was able to proceed with her final chemotherapy.  The oncologist performed a series of in-depth scans and will analyse the X-Rays, recommending future treatment and pending surgery.  Mariana’s pastures in the wilderness are not over; there are still miles to travel.  Work on her new home is ongoing and we pray the Lord will grant Mariana many days with her seven children.  We know, all things are possible; we have proved that the Lord can make our precious sister anew.  My heart reaches out to you in thanksgiving for your evident love and prayers that have carried this family though these many difficult months.  My prayer is that Mariana will come to know the true meaning of the peace that passes all understanding in her life.  Pray for the young Hungarian pastor who faithfully ministers weekly in her home.  Mariana expresses it is a miracle she is where she is today but still no evidence that the Holy Spirit has touched her life.  May she be directed to read Psalm 103: 3 ‘Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases’.

Our hope is not in nations or rulers, our trust is in the Almighty God who holds this world in the hollow of his hand. Each day hails unwelcome news of spiking numbers of the Covid pandemic, earthquakes, bombings … a broken world.  The fourth wave of Coronavirus has hit Romania.  The State have segregated the vaccinated from those unvaccinated, meaning only those vaccinated will be permitted to enter shopping malls, Restaurants and must display proof of a negative test.  Hospitals are overstretched and cannot tread anyone sixty and over.  Our teams in Emanuel Hospice, Casa Grace and Iochjebed are under tremendous pressure. Today’s moment of need is prayer – remember them. 

Another blog. Additional accounts of struggle, worry, inadequacy, rejection, disappointment, unanswered questions, pain … every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year after year. I need to remember that God is in control. He and He alone must be my focus, the centre of my attention, otherwise I will become totally overwhelmed.  I sign off another update asking you to prayerfully remember Hamilton and I.  We are just another ordinary couple but feel the need of your prayers for the days ahead.  As you continue to pray for Emanuel Hospice patients, Casa Grace families, orphans, disabled, down syndrome children and abandoned babies, Iochebed families, please remember other aspects of the ministry.  The final stages of the translations into Romanian, Russian and Hungarian of The Pastoral Epistles and Glory in the Cross are coming to completion.  Pray for guidance in printing and distribution.  One Ukrainian leader has requested one thousand copies.   

We continue to give thanks for the tokens of our ‘Divine Appointments’ for the Lord proving His faithfulness through the love of brothers and sisters. One couple sponsoring Mariana’s treatment; one couple purchasing five of our ten tailoring chairs urgently needed in our Vocational Training Room.  God Bless You.    At times I feel totally helpless, but there is a drive within me that I must press on, I am compelled by my love for these precious people.  Shirley: ‘Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus’.  Amen.

Shirley, August 31, 2021. 

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ