Why am I loving?


“Service to God is the deliberate love-gift of a nature that has heard the call of God. Service is an expression of my nature, and God’s call is an expression of His nature. Therefore, when I receive His nature and hear His call, His divine voice resounds throughout His nature and mine and the two become one in service. The Son of God reveals Himself in me, and out of devotion to Him service becomes my everyday way of life.”  Oswald Chambers.

Illustrative Image from pixabay.com

‘May his love be my love’.  Since writing those words in my blog of April 14, 2019, my prayers have become ‘work’.  Days when I ask myself ‘Who am I loving?’ ‘Why am I loving?’ It can be difficult at times.
Only five barley loaves; A few small fish; The widow who gave two tiny copper coins – gave all she had.  I must give as he gave to me. May I never turn away from those who do not matter to anyone even though inside I silently question ‘Why, the waste?’ Why the famine raging in so many lives? Do I notice the poor whose desperation drives them to despair?  I wonder if I would be willing to share my last morsel as the widow of Zarephath?  Love loves to give regardless of the cost, it cannot be measured.   We all can extend our love by taking hold of a faltering hand, they don’t know what it is to feel ‘special’.

Mark 10: 16 And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.  The Lord Jesus expressed great love for children; he always made time for them even in the midst of the thronging crowds. He still took time for perhaps that little insignificant figure standing before him in wonder. So as I think of my Adam I think of hugs, laughter and the ‘special times’ we shared together.  Adam has undergone the second phase of heart surgery; this morning Adam has contracted a severe infection which may require immediate surgery.  Please join me in taking my little one in your arms in prayer; hold him close to your heart and commit him into the hands of the One who will lead, guard and direct all his ways.  A little life clearly part of God’s plan.

Baby Alexandra remains in hospital.  A tube has been inserted from her brain to her stomach to control the liquid formatting in her tiny head. The tube detached and staff are trying to find a specialist to replace.  The situation is critical, as Sister Simona will give birth to her fourth child by the end of May.

Nathanael (12) diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma (a very rare type of cancerous tumour).  His recovery is slow and he is unable to go home.  He knows only pain each day and just longs to be at home with his family.
Young and old are affected. Buda Vasile (69) (widower) suffering from a tumour located in his kidney, Buda lives with two of his five sons in a very old house with unsanitary conditions. One son has mental retardation and in spite of this is the one who cares for his father as the other son must work to be the main source of financial support.  Sadly, his other three sons do not visit their father often.  Pray as Adriana visits regularly, caring for his medical needs but also sharing the gospel that Buda will be open to the power of God in salvation.

And still they come:  Ionut Lutas (21) has been in the care of Emanuel Hospice for ten years.  He suffers from muscular dystrophy and was first admitted to the team as a child of eleven.  His mother also has muscular dystrophy and the father survived cancer having one of his legs amputated. Hold this family close in heart, they need to come to know the Lord in saving grace. Life is a continuous storm for many yet in their suffering covered by perhaps a faint smile


 Smiles enter my heavy heart as I think of Kevin.   The first day I met Kevin he could only crawl on his knees and when he called after me ‘Lady will you come back to see me’ …. He will be able to walk to greet me in four weeks – I can’t wait.

Little Victor searches your heart with two little eager eyes as he silently wonders within ‘when can I go home?’

Dami (14) blind, suffering from a brain tumour. His mother cannot bear the thought of life without her little boy who is so precious to her.

Eva (49) blind and whose brain tumour is spreading rapidly.  Eva needs to know love, feel security, yet because of circumstances must live with her sister in a damaged house of disrepair.  Her sister can be aggressive owing to schizophrenia. A tragic situation. Her final days? 

Harrowed hearts, mountains of sorrow, we continue to love and support them on their journey.

Words such as poverty, obscurity, rejection, unloved come to mind as I view the new case studies on my desk this morning.  Restless minds walking dirt roads hoping to find an unclaimed corner, a place of shelter; not knowing where their next meal will come from; no town or home to return to; no smile of welcome.   Not a story, a reality.   Methinks how poor can one be?  This is WHY I am loving and WHO I am loving. How much more can I show my love?  Lord teach me.

I think of the Grandmother of the Badea family who came to Casa Grace desperately in need of a listening ear.    Her daughter and grandson (10) share the state owned property.  The little boy (Narcis) is unable to see, hear or speak suffering from spastic paralysis on his left side, hydrocephalus and epilepsy.  Owing to his many health complications the father abandoned his wife and son, Luminita is low in self esteem because of the mountains crashing down upon her.  As I sort the papers into priority needs I ask myself ‘What value do I place on £5 per week?’ The differing needs and many difficulties are prayerfully and carefully considered and yes at times I am concerned as to the how can I?  Will I? Then I remember that He who has called you to do it will equip you accordingly.  The task may be difficult but not impossible ‘In Him’.  If I am their friend, I need to show the character of love and dependence. £5 will feed one family for one week.  Thank you for feeding my friends.  Together we are one.

My spirit is at peace as I trace the recent journey surrounding Sister Anna and her girls. No garden of flowers for this family only thorns, thistles and briers in the way.  Yet winter storms have been replaced with vines glowing with grapes in the dark and dingy yard where they live.
April Update highlighted the desperation facing this family consisting of a single sickly mother and her two young daughters.  My friend Monika telephoned me confirming the meeting with the State of Oradea went well.  They listened intently to the case as outlined in my previous update.  The prayers of the family of God were evident with the outcome being the family will not be evicted until an affordable low rental can be offered to house Anna and her daughters.  Their cup of bitterness was replaced with the cup of joy and expectation.  Characters had been changed; points of view had changed.  The Lord has done great things and indeed his ways are past finding out.  Thank you to those of you whose hearts were moved toward this family.  I have already arranged to visit them on my return to Romania in four weeks when Monika and I will set in place a projected plan to assist rental for the first year through your love gifts to the Druta Family.


The seven children from one family whose father suffers from a mental disorder leading to aggression, they make ‘nets’ to sell in the hope of raising money for food.

The families who were evicted from their homes, one father who aimlessly wanders the streets of Romania and whose daughter has been taken away from him.

The son from one family hospitalised two week every two months.

The family at risk of losing their children owing to lack of employment, health issues and unstable home environment.

 I recall asking one mother whose children were in an orphanage: ‘why did you give your children away for so many years?’  Her reply: ‘I had no choice and because I loved them’.

‘Breathe on me breath of God…That I may love as Thou dost love’.  The hymn continues: ‘And do as Thou …’  Vera has known the wild winds of a life lived in a desert place.  No whispers of peace, no flowing streams, no outpouring of love, only hardship and grief, a life of wasted years. Thankfully she has knocked the door of Iochebed.   Gaby and her team will help rebuild the ruins of her life.

VERA is ill.  Her days are days of endless decisions:  There is only enough money for medicine or food – which is the greater necessity?  How can you answer that? Vera a mother of eight girls, lived a difficult life filled with hardship and abuse.  Her face is familiar to the team as she had been recommended to come to Iochebed for counselling, practical help and guidance some years ago. Her first thought of abortion was replaced by assurance and hope.  Sadly, the baby died within a few days of birth leaving a deep wound and lack of confidence in herself.

Vera has come to know the Lord as her Saviour and rejoices in the goodness and blessing of the Lord.  Three of her eight daughters have heart defects (two have undergone surgery).  This week Vera has come asking for prayer as her seventeen-year-old daughter who has to attend Santa Maria Hospital in Lasi for investigations.  We have been enabled to subsidise the transport and other expenses from the gifts received specifically for the work of Iochebed.  Pray for Adina who underwent surgery two years ago but through recent investigations sixteen diagnostics have been found (some serious).
Vera is one of many families who come our way.  How blessed we are to discover the differing individual lives and characters of so many inviting us into their life.

Silvia has now confirmed that after a long epidemic, access has finally been granted to recommence our craft classes on the paediatric units.   The nursing staff are looking forward to the return of the psycho-social activities. The little ones can relax as they learn through the art of play to focus on the beauty of life.  Pray for Silvia and her team as they witness to the parents, grandparents who walk the corridors aimlessly.  Their depth of love is amazing and yet their love is limited as time can be short for some. Let us not be strangers but always have time to give.

Please remember David Morton and the work team who are spending two weeks in Cluj working on ‘THE FARM’.  The roof has successfully been placed and we give God the glory for this exciting project offering a placement, skills to the orphans of Romania.   Further information will be available.

Pray for us as we return to our beloved Romania today four weeks.  Visits are already in place for the works of Emanuel Hospice; Casa Grace; Orphanage; Cighid; Iochebed with three added trips to feel the heart of additional needs.  The travel will be intense, pray for strength, Godly wisdom in all decisions.

‘Lord let my words help and heal even ONE.

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