There’s Still Time

Note: This blog is longer than normal and contains some very distressing news from Romania, so Shirley encourages you to take a moment to pray before reading.

In preparing my heart to write to you this month, I was reminded of the words of Augustine: ‘The very pleasures of human life men acquire by difficulties’.   Many of us find ourselves sitting in God’s waiting room, trying to mark out the limits, the meaning of acceptance with peace.  Perhaps our personal ‘Path of Suffering’ is not as severe as the precious people you will come to know and love through my writing.  There is still time to be ‘moved by compassion’ for the destitute, forsaken, who know only a path of suffering and pain.  You and I together, can show them the love of God by our response, help them discover God’s mercy through their pain.  Troubled hearts, confused minds, forgotten children, cast aside, confined to a cot of loneliness.  From my heart to yours I say: ‘There’s Still Time’.

‘Hamilton, I can’t do this anymore, there is too much pain’. Email after email contained disturbing and heart rendering situations.  Diagnosis of cancer ravaging bodies, the reality of one hundred and sixteen precious lives in the care of our Hospice Team lost their battle with cancer, lives whose daily companion is fear, worry, resentment. They suffer in silence, alone.   I felt ashamed of my outburst and quietly asked the Lord to hear the cry of my heart, help me recognise the need, take it as mine and offer myself in service wherever and whatever is needed.  Who is number one in God’s waiting room? I am.

Emanuel Hospice: 

My friends are walking the path of suffering just now; in the blackness of their exhaustion their beloved colleague Claudia was called home.  My dear friend Estera wrote from her hurting heart: Our colleague Dr. Pele Claudia Aniela went to be with the Lord after a long-term battle with cancer. Claudia was our Hospice doctor since 2018 and in the last months of her life became our patient.  We ask for your prayers for Dacian, (Claudia’s husband) and their little girls Oana (10) and Maria (8). Pray for God’s comfort at this time of loss. Oana and Maria are filled with sunless hours, dark shadows fill their wee hearts and minds. The nights are long as they lie awake thinking of ‘Mummy’.  Please pray their childish hearts will know comfort.  My memories of Claudia are precious.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new’.

My Precious Catalina lost her battle with cancer, she suffered greatly, being in a state of unconsciousness nearing the end of her days.  Catalina was discharged from hospital, Adriana (physiologist) and Monika (nurse) continued home care, offering comfort and consolation to her family.  She died suddenly.  My visits with Catalina were special days, she loved to share stories relating to her family. We read the Word of God together. I pray we meet in eternity.

Maria (58), diagnosed with a brain tumour twelve months ago.  During this period, she has lost her ability to speak and is now only able to pronounce a few words, mumbling the remainder.  It is difficult to communicate with her, however. She understands what is said but struggles to express herself. Also, she is paralysed down her right side, unable to move her right hand and foot and is totally dependent on the help of her husband and son.   Her son, George (23) is in danger of losing his eyesight relating to a condition since birth.

Floare (65), diagnosed with pharynx and oesophagus cancer, with tracheostomy. Owing to a swelling around her neck area she is having secretions, causing her to choke.   She is in excruciating pain, the oncologist prescribed palliative chemotherapy which is causing extreme weakness as a side effect. She is unable to walk unaided and her speech is limited.  As the oncologist predicted, there is no improvement, as she is struggling with many additional health problems. Floare came from a Pentecostal background, but was estranged from the church after her marriage.  Her relationship with the Lord became a distant memory.  She believes this illness is a punishment from God for leaving the church and has started to seek the Lord with her whole heart. Pray that she will find an inner peace and forgiveness in the Lord, especially during these days when her illness is evolving very fast.

Floare (74) has breast cancer. She has undergone a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  A few weeks ago, a wound appeared on her chest, soon it began to spread, becoming deeper, eating into her flesh.  In all my years of involvement with Emanuel Hospice I have never encountered the image in this case study – it is unimaginable.  I wept for hours to think of the pain, her discomfort. What if this was my Mum?    The wound is spreading rapidly to her neck and back area.  The pain must be indescribable.   The oncologist is unable to confirm if this is a side effect from the radiotherapy or perhaps related to the form of cancer.  ‘There’s still time’ for someone to care.  Is it you?

Mariana (58), (August blog) needs prayer now more than ever before.  She has finally accepted the offer of chemotherapy (refusing it in the past), after being advised her life could be extended if she proceeds.  Presently she is feeling nauseous and extremely weak, sadly she is struggling with suicidal thoughts, declaring that she no longer has faith in God and questions her beliefs. Pray for my young sister Adriana, an amazing young girl with a heart after God and for her patients.  This is one of her most difficult cases.   What a ministry!  What an opportunity.  Eternity is a reality!  Pray Adriana will know God’s wisdom.

Dani (12), (August Blog) is now in hospital for chemotherapy.  Dani has been diagnosed with a brain tumour; at present he is very ill with pneumonia. His frail body collapsing under the strain.  Mum and Dad watch helplessly, their  hearts are filled with deep sorrow. 

Iuliana (58) diagnosed with cervical neoplasm is poverty-stricken.  Enduring an impoverished life of total destitution, she lives with two of her sons who also have issues.  Penniless and bereft of love, there is no support from her sons.  ‘There’s Still Time’.  Time to take a few moments out of our busy life to ask the Lord to love, to comfort Luliana.

Kevin has undergone surgery, although not as planned.  Pray for his recovery.

IOCHEBED: 

Ani has seven children.  Her life is filled with trials and she greets each new day with a deep sense of fear.  Fear of what another day will bring her way.  Her husband does not have permanent employment but is prepared to work when and where available.  The fact he does not have stable employment creates endless hardships for this family of nine.  Most days, seven little mouths are hungry, there is little or no food.   David (7) was diagnosed with two heart issues and requires heart surgery.  The doctors have confirmed if there is no intervention, there is a possibility David will die. The title of my blog: ‘There’s Still Time’ to hold this little boy in our hearts. To date, we have paid for the transport to Bucharest and will cover hospital and medication expenses as the Lord sends in his time and purpose. David has been transferred to another hospital for a deeper evaluation and investigations. Tell Romania have covered this need to date but ‘There’s Still Time’.  We want David to have a normal life, experience the joy of play, attend school. Updates will follow.

Nicoleta is ‘Mama’ to nine children, she came to Iochebed humbly asking for prayerful support.  Her husband is violent and it is difficult to resist his verbal and physical abuse.  She lives in constant fear and trembling, days when she wants to ‘run away’ but out of love for her children remains. Through her tears she sobbed: ‘Can you help me? In love and wisdom, we advised her to seek help from the authorities and for police protection.  Nicoleta is aware of the centre for abused women but knows this is not the answer.  Gabi has commenced one to one counselling sessions as Nicoleta is in deep depression, harbouring suicidal thoughts. Broken people in need of mending.  ‘There’s Still Time’.

Iasmina (17) is in urgent need of our support. Her baby girl of six weeks has developed serious health issues. The little one’s cries break Iasmina’s young heart.  After a medical consultation, it has been confirmed the problem is related to dried milk.  The baby requires a special formula which is expensive.  Iasmina asked for our help as she is without resources and unable to afford the formula recommended by the hospital. We are blessed to serve these mothers and we will help her in every way possible especially with the dried milk so the baby girl can develop healthily. Please pray for Iasmina and her baby. Iasmina is so young for this responsibility.

Ana (our Ana and her 4 children) was becoming increasingly concerned as her baby girl of nineteen months was losing consciousness.  It would happen suddenly and without warning.  Ana is alone; her four children are her life and she has sacrificed much.  Aware of the risk incurred she came to Gabi requesting the possibility of a consultation with a paediatrician.  Contact was made and arrangements for various tests have been implemented.  We await the results.  Little Alexandra Maria needs our prayers. ‘Jesus, tender shepherd hear me, bless Thy little lamb tonight’.  Make this your prayer.

PENTRU COPII shares its first case study from the heart of a Mum.

Maximus (Max) – Dora affectionally calls him the ‘Gladiator’.  Although confined to a wheelchair through severe disability, Max is a fighter.   His mum speaks of her shattered dreams; forsaken by her husband, left alone:  I quote:

‘For a woman the most beautiful thing in life is a child. Dreaming if she will have a boy or a girl, perhaps a large family.  My wish was to have a boy and my wish was fulfilled. A handsome, smart and adorable boy. But life brings trials at a time of joy.   My doctor was careless, need I say more?   I had to comply. I learned to pray for my child’s life and to have the strength to survive the huge pain I felt pounding in my chest, followed by anger, fear and disappointment. I was confused; I didn’t know what to do, where to turn.   I prayed by the side of my child’s incubator, seeing how the needles were bruising his tiny fragile veins, he was so small, I couldn’t even hold him in my arms, I couldn’t hug him, soothe his suffering.  When I left him, I kept wondering does he know I’m gone? These thoughts overwhelmed me day and night, then arriving home with a seemingly healthy baby, I became an overprotective mother. I did not let anyone approach him, touch him, I wanted him to be mine and mine alone, to be able to finally enjoy that I can hold him in my arms. During the day and at night I would watch him sleep to make sure he was breathing. Then I found out the cruel truth. My child will have problems, disabilities and will require treatment, ongoing therapy. Max endured many forms of treatment and therapy.  He is now twelve years of age and once more I am afraid.  He is only twelve but my years, my strength have already gone, I find it difficult to cope with the ongoing trials, financial problems, outings together I can no longer afford.  The fact my husband has forsaken us causes deep sadness.  I am frustrated and wonder, where is the One who can move mountains? What will the future hold? Will I cope with the ongoing struggles?  I must find the power to resist my fears.  Max is all I have in this world, I must remain strong, he needs me!  Must, must and must!!!!  I find it hard … very hard. It’s hard to be a Woman!  Especially a single one’.

Therapy time in the Abandoned Baby Wing is a special time for Dora.  Passing by the cots a tiny hand could be seen reaching through the slots of a wooden cot.  A premature baby boy (Florin) lay crying, he had been abandoned by his mother in hospital after giving birth to him. His little form was like a shaft of wheat, a tiny piece of corn blowing in the wind. Alone, forsaken, no one to love him, this is his life until?  ‘There’s Still Time’.  Take time to cuddle, hug these forgotten babies in your heart.  Dora welcomes new children for therapy sessions, there is nowhere else for them to go unless they pay.  One area of concern is the infection rate is scaling high in and around Oradea. What if the centre has to close yet again?

CASA GRACE: 

Our precious Mariana needs prayer.  The numbers of those infected with Covid-19 continue to rise throughout Romania.  The village where Mariana and her family reside are recording a high number of people infected.  Mariana’s seven children have all tested positive, a serious situation and – I express my concern to you – this very sick lady must care for her seven treasures.   Immediate restrictions have been implemented; the village school will close with the possibility of curfew or lockdown in many towns. Mariana’s Computerised Tomography (CT) scan is clear. However, there is an urgent requirement for further surgery as her previous surgery has opened forming an unwanted hernia.  Monika is in contact with Mariana every day. They speak by telephone and our dear friend has expressed her fear and sadness at facing another surgery.  In consultation with the doctors a decision has been made to postpone surgery in order to free Mariana from the use of colostomy bags.  Cover Mariana in prayer, her immune system is extremely weak and she is highly vulnerable.  Love is an unwritten language to this precious lady, ‘There’s Still Time’ to express our love whatever our language.

Times and seasons change, people come and go, we may never know the end of the matter of those who come the way of Casa Grace.  Only eternity will reveal.  This week, a lady came back who was helped ten years ago.  The girls of Casa had left a lasting imprint on her life. It’s not just a feeding programme, it is about listening to the painful trials, the strange happenings, those whose plans, desires, hopes lie in ruins.  And so, we throw out a lifeline asking God to make us a blessing to those who live in a stage of nothingness.    A father and mother with two daughters. Home for this family is a flat in disrepair where the kitchen remains unpainted even though they have lived there for many years.  There is barely enough money for food; the finer things in life are unimportant.  Both parents work but receive an extremely small salary, so there is just enough to survive.  The father suffering from diabetes is weak, but still he works to feed his family.  The teenage daughter sleeps on a thin mattress on the floor. There is no money to purchase a bed for her and I am sure as any other teenage girl she dreams of her own bedroom; this teenager doesn’t even have a bed!  After careful consideration we added this family to the Tell Romania feeding programme.  They stood speechless that someone should care.  Their message to you: ‘We have no proper words to thank you for the food we receive. We consider this food a gift from God.  Thank you’.

Another family with five children between eleven and two, living in a rented flat with two rooms.  Two rooms for seven people! The father works while the mother remains at home to care for her children.   Mum is very sick and had to pay a hospital consultation. After investigation(s) doctors are unable to reach a conclusion. We stretch out our hand to help them during this difficult time. 

Eight hungry children living in a tiny flat within a small town are excited when it is ‘Casa Grace Food Day’.   Their mother suffers from many health issues and is currently receiving a temporary State Sickness Allowance.   One of her daughters graduated from our sewing class and has been successful in securing employment.  Another arm of the ministry of Tell Romania.  The Vocational Training Room under the supervision of my friend Dana, not only teaches modules to distinction standard but impacts lives with the gospel.  Coffee Time is a time when they hear the Word of God and know eternity is a reality.  This precious family feel so blessed, although poor and desolate, they share their food with many needy families within their local church.  This week a brother sent me a text offering the money covering the cost of the remaining tailoring chairs.  God’s Divine Appointment.

Our love reaches a young couple with one child.  The father was diagnosed with cancer and has undergone surgery.  He is unable to work and is waiting on various tests to be carried out.  There is no comparable NHS in Romania to provide all the treatment free.  All the money they have was used for surgery and medication.  There is insufficient money to purchase food. They too are blessed from your hand.

Those of you who know me, know my total dependence upon ‘God’s Divine Appointments’.  God makes no mistakes.  I have learned, through difficult lessons, painful and personal situations that it is not about me or my plans, rather it is all about the Lord and my total submission to his ‘Divine Appointment’.  Would I be where I am today ‘if’?  I treasure my ‘quiet times, my alone times, where it is just the Lord and I.  This leads me to my closing summation:

Is the seed yet in the barn? yea, as yet the vine, and the fig tree, and the pomegranate, and the olive tree, hath not brought forth: from this day will I bless you. (Haggai 2: v19).  ‘From this day forth I will bless you’.  Eight words that would change the life of a young teenager as he read the Word of God during his lunch break (gulping a sandwich) on a June afternoon. We can go on line to view events of history during September, 1966 but for a young Hamilton Moore, Saturday, September 24, 1966, was the day he entered God’s arena. Fifty-Five years of ‘arena experiences’ –   I need to run to keep up with him; his passion remains.

In closing, I quote the words of Hudson Taylor: ‘Difficulties afford a platform upon which He can show Himself.  Without them, we could never know how tender, faithful, and almighty our God is’.  I voice my ‘Amen’ to this, I have proved it to be so. 

Shirley. (30.09.21)

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

Before the Sun Goes Down

Did I live with love and grace
And dry the tears on some small face?
Did I drink the sunlight in
Look on loosing as a win?
Did I take the highest road?
Did I repay the debt I owed?
Search me, search me now
I pray and wash my every sin away

REFRAIN
Before the purple sunset skies
Before the carpe diem (seize the day) dies
Before I close my eyes to sleep and pray
Dear Lord, my soul to keep
Before I reach the end of day
I’ve got to know I’ve walked Your way
Before the darkness shades the ground
Before the sun goes down

Did I keep my word today
And mean the things you heard me say?
Did I make sincere amends with those
I wronged, my kin and friends?
Did I seek to be more real
And verbalize the pains I feel?
Did I think on what is good
And help my brother when I could?

As I reflect, I must confess that
I might not have past some test
And I fell short in everything
For my poor flesh is limiting
And I regret my whole life through
I did not spend much time with you
But if there’s time and one more breath
And one more hour of daylight left

(Suzanne Gaither Jennings, Michael G. and Tanya Sykes)

A footnote from Shirley:  

I have spent days writing this painful blog, a blog filled with dark corners, people spiritually in darkness, earnestly searching for small mercies, pleading for someone to care.  Children eating crumbs from a table.  Their world is fractured.  Samuel Rutherford, in his letters, wrote: ‘Whoever seeks the world to be their bed shall at best find it short and ill-made’.  With Christian love and the hope of the gospel, their world can be changed.  ‘There’s Still Time’.


The hard road of emptiness

‘THE HARD ROAD OF EMPTINESS’.

‘Do more than exist, live.
Do more than touch, feel.
Do more than look, observe.
Do more than read, absorb.
Do more than hear, listen.
Do more than thank, ponder.
Do more than talk, say something.  

(John H. Rhoads).

‘Live, feel, observe, absorb, listen, ponder’.  It takes a deep seeded depth of love to embrace these words. As I do, I ask myself:  ‘How deep is my love today?’  I confess writing the monthly update is emotional and draining, but love, real love is not merely an emotion, it is a motion, simply because real love is love in action.  John Wesley wrote: ‘Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can’.   ‘As long as I can’ is my opening prayer each morning. 

Beautiful rays of sunshine greeted me this morning, yet I know for many it is winter in their hearts.  The cold winds of darkness, emptiness are undeniable mountains refusing to disappear.  If only they would ‘commit’ their pain, suffering, worry, anxiety, burden, loss to the Lord.  C.H. Spurgeon’s exposition of 1 Peter 5: 7 is clear and instructive: ‘Commit thy way unto the Lord.  Roll the whole burden of life upon the Lord.  Leave with Jehovah not thy present fretfulness merely, but all thy cares; in fact, submit the whole tenor of thy way to him.  Cast away anxiety, resign thy will, submit thy judgment, leave all with the God of all’.   There are times I feel I am stumbling in the darkness but this brings me closer to a greater understanding of more love for the Lord. I repeat: ‘As long as I can’.  

Many of our families, patients are from the Orthodox religion.  Their morning prayer includes this petition: ‘Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the day with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all’.  Wow!  I sat down this morning and analysed the words: ‘all that comes to me’.   All that comes to me is certainly by Divine Purpose and I know (while painful) I must continue to love, sharing the Good News and supporting my children, patients and families.  How can I not when I read?

Ionut, (John) (22) diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, causing him to be permanently bedridden.   Ionut has been in our care since he was ten years of age, although recently we noticed he was very weak. A sweet boy who, when asked what he wanted to mark his twenty-first birthday, replied: ‘A Giant Pizza please’.  Ionut died on the 17th of August after years of pain and suffering.  His condition worsened with the years bringing unimaginable complications. Ionut inherited this condition from his mother who also suffers from muscular dystrophy. Although her condition has worsened, she was motivated to fight for her beloved son.  His sick mother and father who has one leg amputated lovingly cared for him. It is winter in this home. Our Hospice team are concerned they will not cope with the loss. They miss his smile, with life having no meaning, as the purpose of living has gone.  This precious couple need our support in prayer.

Berti (13) and Alex (5), two brothers with tetra paresis. There are three other siblings who assist in caring for their brothers. They are a precious family who live in extreme poverty.  A family bereft of health, food, clothing, shelter, they have nothing to call their own.   

Kevin is scheduled for foot surgery this week.  Remember our wee gem and his mum Gabi who is still in the depths of grief from the loss of her beloved Robi.  Pray the surgery will be successful (without complications) enabling Kevin to finally be able to walk again.  I know Uncle Wesley, Uncle Peter and Auntie Mary, (Falkirk), Auntie Barbara, Auntie Sheila and many others pray for Kevin and will be holding him close in heart. 

Dani (12) the young boy with a brain tumour is continuing to do palliative chemotherapy. Dani is confined to bed permanently now and is very thin, with virtually no appetite. His parents are devastated; their tears would fill a reservoir. They would rather suffer themselves than to see their precious darling wasting away before their eyes.  This is real pain and it hurts to watch.

I find these particular cases harrowing, lives with overwhelming circumstances, obstacles.  The mountains are high, vision impaired, the climb is much too steep.  Their eyes are dark and they stare ahead in fear wondering ‘what next?’  There is only one who can smooth the rough and uneven paths, level the high and towering mountain.  Can we bring light to these darkened hearts?  Will you hold out your hand to one of these precious families? 

Estera, Emanuel Church Hospice Team, writes: ‘Sister Shirley, thank you so much for holding us in prayer. We are blessed to be held in prayer as we care for our patients’. 

Another Mariana (58), ovarian cancer, receiving palliative care from our dedicated Hospice team.  Mariana knows her time on earth is limited.  Despair, panic attacks and depression crowd her mind, thinking that her illness is a punishment from God. Mariana was a very religious person prior to her illness and harbours feelings of resentment towards God, saying she is unable to pray now.  She questions the goodness of God, doubting the way He choose to manage this world.  Pray for Adriana in her visits to Mariana that she will point her the way to find peace; that she and her family may be brought to faith, to know the Lord, that He can be with her even in these circumstances.

Caterina (my dear friend) has been admitted to hospital.  I felt in my own heart from a recent photograph shared with me, all was not well.  Caterina began to choke when sipping water and swallowing food.  A sign that her neck tumour may be growing inwardly. She will start a session of radiotherapy.  This dear lady has become so precious to me, I love her dearly and want her to know the Lord I love.  She still asks ‘When will Sister Shirley return to visit with me?’

Working in fields or fruit farms is ‘normal’ to Roma girls, these are certainly not fields of peace or contentment but fields of necessity.  An arduous journey of struggle for many elderly ladies, the work involves strenuous effort and at the end of the day, their breaking backs and heavy feet make another arduous journey – the road ‘home’.  Constantly weighed down by the weight of their circumstance, they ask only for one thing – ‘change’. They lack joy and their tears seem to go on forever; the anxiety in their heart is overwhelming.  The Word of God brings a wealth of knowledge and a legacy of joy.  My prayer is that through the love shown by our team in Iochebed, they will realise the power of prayer and that prayer changes things. 

Claudia has a baby girl of one and became pregnant again four months after the birth of her baby daughter who was delivered by caesarean section.  Claudia requested the possibility of a natural birth for her second pregnancy. However, on August 01st a baby boy was delivered also by caesarean section.  This precious little darling only survived one day as he suffered a major heart attack.  Claudia is broken, only God can wipe her tears and heal her broken heart.

Georgiana (18) married with two children is facing days of disbelief and hardship.  A young teenager with the responsibility of two precious children.  Her husband has been arrested and she is totally with no family or loved ones to support her and her babies.  The cold Romanian winter will soon make an unwelcome return.  Georgiana is overwhelmed by fear that her babies with freeze to death as she has no money for firewood and is bereft of support of any kind.  A few logs of wood would bring heat to precious little ones, cook a soup or stew.  The dark walls of circumstances are crowding in. With her back against the wall, Georgiana has nowhere to hide or to run.  Our girls in Iochebed are waiting with outstretched arms of love.  Let us buy wood for tiny toes and fingers to be warm.  They have no Daddy to hold them.

Didina, (40) has ten, yes, you read correctly, ten children.  Didina came to Iochebed in shock and disbelief that she is pregnant with her eleventh child.  This was unwelcome news for her and she is in total shock. Her last pregnancy was extremely difficult and she was on medication throughout her term.   Two years ago, she suffered facial paresis; it is still noticeable as she has not healed completely.   A lady of forty with ten children, washing, ironing, cooking for twelve every day, in her eleventh pregnancy with serious medical issues.  Didina needs the Lord to strengthen her weak body and frail mind.

Elena (30) a single mother with a five-year-old child came to Iochebed requesting a pregnancy test.  She confessed her desire if the test was positive, she wanted an abortion.  After much prayer within our team, the test result was negative. Pray that all the information she heard in our counselling classes will change her heart about abortion.

A few days ago, my friend Wesley and I were reminiscing on some favourite hymns we enjoyed playing in Castlereagh Baptist Church. As we ended our conversation, I sat down at my piano and began to play:

‘Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end’.

I can hear Wesley saying: ‘Shirley, maintain a quiet heart and keep trusting’.

My monthly blog is written over many days of tearful consideration.  I find myself questioning why so much suffering is allowed?  As I prepare lunch or our evening meal, pictures of my families occupy my thoughts, those who do not even have a morsel on the end of their fork to quench the hunger pains of tiny tummies, dark eyes looking up, longing for food.  But then, many don’t even have forks; they gladly eat with their fingers. The next time we sit down to eat remember the team at Casa Grace who lovingly prepare weekly food parcels for the endless stream of mothers, fathers who knock our door pleading for food. Pray for the team, as they also seek for opportunities to share news of the One who is the bread of life.

A cruel and violent area is home to one our families where the conditions are of a vicious nature.  It is unsafe to leave children unattended. Therefore, in order to protect her little girl from harm, one mother makes many sacrifices.  They are extremely poor, no treasured possessions or surplus of money. In fact, the food they receive from our feeding programme enables the family to have money for utility, or medical expenses.  These days, I find myself thinking of the little mouths that would gladly eat the ‘left overs’ we disregard.

Eight children run excitedly to Casa Grace, their faces beaming with joy.  They can’t wait to receive ‘food’.  Their eager, hungry eyes gaze in disbelief at the bags of food.  The food is a lifeline to them as without it they would find it impossible to survive.  The mother cooks for her large family and manages well on a low family income.  As we prepare our personal case study representing each family, we identify the fear of tomorrow these families harbour in their hearts.  Pray for our team as they counsel and instruct these precious people that their amazing influence will teach them the true meaning of resting in the calmness of his presence.  Robert Louis Stevenson ends one of his prayers with these words:

‘Help us with the grace of courage that we be none of us cast down while we sit lamenting over the ruins of our happiness.  Touch us with the fire of Thine altar, that we may be up and doing, to rebuild our city.’

Neli, Casa Grace Team, writes: It is not a coincidence these families came to be assisted by Casa Grace.   We want to help them as much as we can, but more importantly to be an example and a witness for them. This would not be possible without your help and support. We would be unable to offer food without you and your friends who donate money enabling us to purchase for the feeding programme.  Thank you in the name of Casa Grace and our families.  Please extend our thanks to those who donate that their hunger may be satisfied. Sister Shirley, may God bless you and take care of you! May God give you and your supporters good health! May God reward your sacrifice which you do for the ministry in Romania and in particular for Casa’s ministry.

OUR PRECIOUS MARIANA although 70 kilometres drive from Oradea continues to receive daily from our feeding programme.  Mariana was able to proceed with her final chemotherapy.  The oncologist performed a series of in-depth scans and will analyse the X-Rays, recommending future treatment and pending surgery.  Mariana’s pastures in the wilderness are not over; there are still miles to travel.  Work on her new home is ongoing and we pray the Lord will grant Mariana many days with her seven children.  We know, all things are possible; we have proved that the Lord can make our precious sister anew.  My heart reaches out to you in thanksgiving for your evident love and prayers that have carried this family though these many difficult months.  My prayer is that Mariana will come to know the true meaning of the peace that passes all understanding in her life.  Pray for the young Hungarian pastor who faithfully ministers weekly in her home.  Mariana expresses it is a miracle she is where she is today but still no evidence that the Holy Spirit has touched her life.  May she be directed to read Psalm 103: 3 ‘Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases’.

Our hope is not in nations or rulers, our trust is in the Almighty God who holds this world in the hollow of his hand. Each day hails unwelcome news of spiking numbers of the Covid pandemic, earthquakes, bombings … a broken world.  The fourth wave of Coronavirus has hit Romania.  The State have segregated the vaccinated from those unvaccinated, meaning only those vaccinated will be permitted to enter shopping malls, Restaurants and must display proof of a negative test.  Hospitals are overstretched and cannot tread anyone sixty and over.  Our teams in Emanuel Hospice, Casa Grace and Iochjebed are under tremendous pressure. Today’s moment of need is prayer – remember them. 

Another blog. Additional accounts of struggle, worry, inadequacy, rejection, disappointment, unanswered questions, pain … every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year after year. I need to remember that God is in control. He and He alone must be my focus, the centre of my attention, otherwise I will become totally overwhelmed.  I sign off another update asking you to prayerfully remember Hamilton and I.  We are just another ordinary couple but feel the need of your prayers for the days ahead.  As you continue to pray for Emanuel Hospice patients, Casa Grace families, orphans, disabled, down syndrome children and abandoned babies, Iochebed families, please remember other aspects of the ministry.  The final stages of the translations into Romanian, Russian and Hungarian of The Pastoral Epistles and Glory in the Cross are coming to completion.  Pray for guidance in printing and distribution.  One Ukrainian leader has requested one thousand copies.   

We continue to give thanks for the tokens of our ‘Divine Appointments’ for the Lord proving His faithfulness through the love of brothers and sisters. One couple sponsoring Mariana’s treatment; one couple purchasing five of our ten tailoring chairs urgently needed in our Vocational Training Room.  God Bless You.    At times I feel totally helpless, but there is a drive within me that I must press on, I am compelled by my love for these precious people.  Shirley: ‘Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus’.  Amen.

Shirley, August 31, 2021. 

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

His arms underneath

‘When God places a burden upon you, He places His arms underneath you’
(Charles Haddon Spurgeon)

‘Enough Lord, please, no more pain, I can’t …’ Suddenly my prayer was halted, Deuteronomy 33:27 captured my thoughts.  ‘The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms’.   Weighty letters, emails, telephone calls seriously impacted my thoughts, things I didn’t really know and couldn’t see first-hand had entered the overtaking lane, when all the time the cruising lane was free, available to share my burdens for, what is now, the hundreds of forgotten little ones, those who have suffered loss, needing comfort, assurance.  Proverbs 17: 22 ‘A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones’.   I shared with a precious friend that a ‘night’ season has entered many lives. I pray for morning to come, knowing that the Lord is the God of all our morningsthe only one who knows our circumstance and with one word, one touch can change our direction.  Isaiah 43: 1. ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine’.  The everydayness of life is a struggle for many, they long for morning to come, to know they are chosen, they belong.  The Healer of broken hearts can mend all shattered dreams.  I pray they will come to know the Man of Galilee, hugging this four-letter word to their heart  ‘MINE’.

Since receiving my previous blog ‘PENTRU COPII’.  (“For the children”) you will have detected my change in direction.  At times I feel I cannot survive the brokenness of my heart as I see the faces of my patients, families, children, case studies.  They have collapsed from the weight they carry.  Colossians 3: 2. ‘Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things’.  Will you make their load a little lighter by taking one moment from your day to whisper the names of:

Joseph (41) a new Hospice patient.   Joseph is lovingly cared for by his mother. They are an extremely poor family, lacking in so much yet possessing the greatest gift of all, love.  Food is scarce, medical bills take precedence. BUT their love is in abundance.   They will receive support through the Tell Romania feeding programme. 

Ioan is the grandfather of Lucas; his wife was a Hospice patient but sadly lost her battle with cancer. Ioan is suffering from family related issues, he has requested prayer in order to be able to forgive but more importantly to take responsibility for young Lucas.

Cristina is in deep sorrow, devastated by the loss of her young husband to cancer.  Her heart is broken.  Her daughter, Claudia (10) misses her father so much. 

Timotei, is a little boy who is in our care. It is now suspected that his brother Florin is suffering a relapse of cancer. Florin was in our care a few years ago. The family are anxious as they wait for pending results.

Kevin celebrated his twelfth birthday on 29th July.  Excited it was his birthday, but knowing deep sorrow in his wee heart, as his father was not there to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him. A first birthday without ‘Dad’ who was his hero. In my mind I still hear Robbi and Kevin, saved by grace with all the family, singing to me on my many visits.

Alexandru (46) another patient with an advanced stage of cancer who has a son (14).  His beloved wife is already devastated, mourning the loss her sister also to cancer a few months ago. They really need our prayers, that they meet the One who can heal the broken heart.

Estera writes:  Shirley, there is so much suffering and pain, please pray for us as a team.   Thank you for working alongside with our patients, the situations are so hard to bear.  God Bless You and we Thank You.

Elisa (28) was diagnosed one year ago with cervical cancer. The consultant fears the cancer has spread throughout her body (especially her lung area). No further options are available as the chemotherapy has been unsuccessful. She has a 2-year-old son, Elias, and the father of the baby left Elisa when she became ill; they weren’t married. Elisa’s mother and brother take care of her and her baby son. Her mother does not want to tell Elisa that she will not survive and is facing a premature death, she feels her daughter could not cope with the fear of death.   Elisa is now on morphine to control the high level of pain.  

Tabita (40), (June blog) passed away at the beginning of July. The future of David, her son, remains uncertain. His father is still refusing to take responsibility, stating he doesn’t know how to take care of a child. David remains with his grandmother, who is elderly and ill.  She is not physically able to take care of him in a proper way; yet, she wants to keep him so that David can take care of her. A boy of his age (15) who recently lost his mother, having grown up in a dysfunctional family, needs all the love and attention now not to be left with the responsibility of his elderly grandmother. An aunt from his father side expressed her wish to adopt David, there are many conflicts within the family resulting in the fact they are unable to reach an agreement. 

Sister Szabo is staying with her children, in Budapest. Partially blind and heartbroken, she misses her beloved Emrico, but she has the consolation that her husband is now in heaven, with his Lord whom he loved and served for over sixty years. On recent visits, Emrico would sing and preach to me, he never was caught up with this world or his illness.  He loved to tell me the story of his days as a young Romanian soldier, persecuted for his faith. This soldier has been promoted to Glory and is now a member of the Army of the King of Kings.

Adriana writes:  Your beloved Caterina is constantly asking me when will you be able to visit her again?  Her neck tumour is stable at present.  Tell Sister Shirley I miss her smile; tell her to come.  As I think of my elderly patients, Caterina, Magdalena, Elizabeth, to name but a few, I pray the Lord will fill their empty hearts with the bounty of his grace.

Iasmina (16) thirty-five weeks pregnant is suffering from a liver disease that can cause intrauterine fatal death. She has undergone many tests. The consultant has recommended a treatment but it is highly expensive. Iasmina’s father died; she lives with her mother and an older sister of seventeen.  Iasmina’s mother suffers from diabetes and struggles to support the girls. The father of the baby is refusing to take responsibility for the baby or recognise that Iasmina is pregnant.  Iasmina is frightened and needs our prayers so that she can give birth to a healthy baby!  Pray for a safe delivery, whisper ‘Iasmina’ – we need to cover her in prayer.

 
Andra (31) married with a beautiful baby boy of two weeks is suffering from postnatal depression.  She so much wanted this pregnancy, as she had lost twins in a previous fifteen-week pregnancy. That loss has affected her deeply. This pregnancy was risky; she had to stay in bed for a period, but eventually gave birth to a baby boy. She was in pain, had lactation issues, tiredness; she feels overwhelmed and feels that everything she does is unacceptable. Pray the Lord will release the chains that bind her and give her the joy and blessing of his gift of life in this precious man child.


Ana has four children and asked us to support her in prayer for a pending surgery for her little boy. He was operated on two weeks ago as he had urinal issues. Ana asked us to support her with food, as she had no food to feed her children and they were hungry.  May God work in Ana’s heart so that she can experience the Bread of Life, Christ himself. 


Camelia (21) is married with a fourteen-month-old baby and is twenty-five weeks pregnant with a baby girl. She has requested support as her husband who worked abroad has been diagnosed with a hernia and is not allowed to work where physical effort is required. He is currently unemployed.   They were able to ‘exist’ from the husband’s salary, but now they barely survive through the child allowance which is minimal for a baby. This family needs God’s intervention and our help.

Monika writesSergiu and his mom visited to say ‘thank you’ for the support that was provided at all levels.  Sergiu finished his first year in high school, they want you to know that this was only made possible because Casa Grace was beside them with the ongoing food, hygiene support and the counselling and prayers of our team.  To our beloved friends and faithful supporters of Tell Romania – Thank you’.

Alex Toma’s sister expressed thanks on behalf of the entire family for the ongoing monthly support – sadly, Alex remains in a coma, his body continues to grow weaker – we pray for God’s peace and strength for the whole family!

Our beloved Mariana continues to remain positive in her approach.  Mariana has one remaining treatment of chemotherapy (booster) which will be administered this incoming week.  Although very weak and unable to eat, she is managing to tolerate the nutrition food administered in liquid form.  Following the final session of chemotherapy, the consultant will carry out a deep analysis to project the way forward, as further surgery is imminent.  The children are overwhelmed with the prospect of moving to a home they can call their own. So different from living by the roadside or in fields.  At present a team are carrying out major repairs, painting etc.  Two disused sheds at the back of the property will be rebuilt to offer bedroom accommodation to the seven children, as we feel Mariana will require the privacy of the one bedroom within the village home.   Mariana has come to the end of her wilderness journey of nearly forty years.  May she come to know that her refuge now is in God and God alone.  Pray for the young pastor who continues to visit them. She needs only to lean on the everlasting arms when she will clearly know the meaning of the line of a well-known hymn: ‘What have I to dread, what have I to fear, Leaning on the everlasting arms?’. 

Taking a deep breath, it is time to refocus:  When the pain comes and I embrace the suffering, the endurance of children and elderly, I must strengthen myself and keep walking.  It is not possible to hit the ‘stop button’ for still they come:

One of poorest families of Casa Grace, yet they are so happy as they receive food from the feeding programme, their little son suffered a broken leg due to an incident in the school playground.  A decision had to be made.  ‘If I take my little boy to hospital, there will be no money for food’. Our support makes this possible! 

Another lady nursing her elderly husband who is suffering from cancer is in the same situation. Medical tests, treatment and medication take precedence over food. There are many days the cupboard is bare and the table is certainly empty. How can we stop? 

A beloved wife requiring dialysis twice weekly, faces the dilemma – treatment or food?

A lonely widow in the depth of despair and sadness.  Her beloved husband died three months ago.  She was refused assistance from the State owing to the fact her husband had received sickness benefit, therefore they would not assist with funeral expenses.  She is unemployed but would be willing to clean offices etc.  Each day is a constant struggle, many days without food for herself and her young daughter, plus rental expenses.  She is so thankful the feeding programme has placed food on their table. 

A single parent family consisting of a mother, son and daughter. The mother has just undergone spinal surgery, leaving her unable to move.  They live in a small rented room.  Hospital costs were high as they involved surgery and ongoing treatment.  There was no money remaining for food and they were hungry.  They are so blessed to receive also from the feeding programme.  The son is trying to find a summer job during school vacation.

Single fathers come, embarrassed, they too are struggling each day to provide a better life for their families.  The pandemic has robbed them of employment.  These men are willing to work even in fields but the fields are empty as are their tables. 

A father suffering from a heart condition after working in a mine for many years.  He has a very large family and is prepared to travel a very long way once weekly to bring one of his daughters to our sewing class.  His daughter is being trained by our amazing team, Dana, Berta and Stefan.  Three modules are available from beginner, advanced, distinction.  As a reward they leave with many bags of food for a very large family. Please pray the Lord will send finance for ten tailoring chairs urgently needed.

Pain is real and when it comes it is not easy to stop, yet for many their only choice is to endure. These are real people with real needs and I ask ‘Have we ever known the dilemma of hunger pangs?’  I should never identify any case study by rank or identity, but with the recognition that there go I but for … Jesus made his way through crowds, multitudes and he ministered with a compelling love.  I must keep focused and keep making my way through the endless case studies that continue to come.  Food for thought!

Yesterday, after long conversations with Monika followed by Dora.  The core of our conversation was compassion, promising love, generating hope for a little one who asks, ‘Who will love me?’ or ‘Who will take care of me?’.  A little boy who has never tasted a ‘Big Mac’.  I have taken a close look at where I am and where I stand.  In the words of George Muller:

We should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried. The more I am in a position to be tried in faith, the more I will have the opportunity of seeing God’s help and deliverance. Every fresh instance in which He helps and delivers me will increase my faith. The believer should not shrink from situations, positions, or circumstances in which his faith may be tried, but he should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities to see the hand of God stretched out in help and deliverance. Thus his faith will be strengthened.

Shirley, July 31, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Newtownabbey, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

‘Pentru Copii’ (‘For the Children’).

‘I have prayerfully set my heart to launch ‘PENTRU COPII’ (‘For the Children’), and in doing so, my life must portray my heart.  I must try to remove unfulfilled dreams, hurt, replacing these with a love that is deep and lasting’. (Blog. 30 April, 2021).

It is now three months since this resolve was published. My heart remains focused, filled with a compelling purpose of creating a ‘smile’ through acts of ‘simple things’, no matter how great or small. Today, is a new day. Psalm 126: 3 ‘The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad’. As I recount the goodness and the mercies of the Lord how can I not be glad and thankful?  Even in this broken world, I am offered a choice, as to how I embrace or make decisions, I must ensure they are meaningful.  ‘Lord, help me to show others a love that is rooted in you; teach me the pattern of love’.

His tears seemed to go on forever, with each tear another part of my heart broke in pieces.  Little K (eighteen months) had been abandoned by his mother. I watched her leave and as she closed the door, she did not even take time for one last look at those dark eyes and outstretched arms.  What triggered this change of heart, unfilled dreams, disappointment?  I will never know if the price she paid was worth the cost, or if in her moments of regret she remembers a little one who will grow never knowing a mother’s arms of security. I quietly determined that day, to try to bring a little joy through the One who holds all things in the palm of His hand.  In this sad world, love that is steadfast and lasting is lacking; biblical teaching is regarded as ‘Victorian’.  Lessons gleaned from the book of Ruth speak to me of a heart of love, kindness, concern, loyalty, respect.  With your help, Pentru Copii can show love and kindness to children, concern for families, loyalty and respect for our dedicated teams.  A journey we can take together.

I did not realise the hidden blessings in my life until I visited many State Orphanage Centres in Romania.  I came away feeling guilty at just how rich I was. Not rich in monetary terms but something richer than gold, I had love, security, shelter, food, clothing and loving arms to comfort me. Normal methinks, yet foreign to these precious children.  I never realised until spending time with my friend Dora who has worked with institutionalised children for many years, that love is the greatest need for these children as is food or breath.  A lack of love and affection results in the developing of a mental delay, behavioural delay affecting speech.  Dora works every day in the Centre in Oradea trying to improve the quality of life and working on a recovery programme.  No one is interested in these children. I was once told ‘They are not worthy of a smile’.  I still bear the scars from this remark.  

Pentru Copii will care for bereaved and terminally ill children, providing pastoral support, food, clothing, school necessities. Case Studies will be submitted by Casa Grace, Emanuel Hospice and Iochebed Foundations. 

Two categories of children are specifically chosen – abandoned and severely disabled children whose dreams consist of a smile, a hug, a kiss on the cheek or just to be held in arms of love – these are the children abandoned throughout State Orphanages.  Children who do not benefit from the love of a parent, living in houses of eleven to twelve children with two staff on shift duty.  Cleaning, laundry, reports, normal day to day chores make it impossible to spend ‘quality time’ with the children.  They are left alone!   A biscuit or wafer, watered down juice is ‘Christmas Morning’ to them.  Oops,  I forgot – they don’t have a Christmas Morning!  They didn’t choose to be an orphan – their parents made that choice.  Single mothers raising a large family, perhaps one child with a disability, the father has left home as he is ashamed of his child who is severely handicapped. Another single mother, again abandoned by the father, no money for food, her children remained in a State Orphanage for eight years.  When asked ‘why’?  ‘I had no other choice; my choice was made out of love’.  A wake up call for me was my first visit to Cighid Adult Orphan Centre where over fifty adult orphans live in the forest area of Cighid.  They run to touch you, unable to speak or communicate.  Over 3,000 unnamed graves … they were someone’s baby.   Today, as you take time to count your blessings,  please don’t forget those who are forgotten and unloved.

Dora is part of the six ladies who make up the team of Casa Grace.  Monika (Director), Berta, Neli, Dana and Mari reside in the office in the centre of Oradea.  Dora is permanently based in the centre teaching therapy to orphan, severely disabled and down syndrome children and abandoned babies.  

‘Sister Shirley, let me share with you’ writes Dora:

After the revolution (1990) approximately 660 abandoned children were in the State Orphanage in Oradea. The Kingdom Kids programme commenced in November 1999 when an Occupational Therapist from Bristol came to Oradea for 1 year to work as a Casa Grace Foundation volunteer in the orphanage. At that time there were more than 300 abandoned children. In the first year the activities were in children s bedrooms.  Consider why Casa Grace continues the program.

  • Healthy children were in the same bedroom with disabled children. The children spent all the time in bedrooms, seeing workers only when they were fed or changed (dipers). The normal children copied the bad behaviour from the disabled children.
    • Lack of stimulation
    • Lack of love and attachment
    • Lack of communication
    • Too many children – no professionals.

            All of this resulting in:

  • Aggressive and self-harming children
    • Stereotypes
    • Delays in physical and mental development
    • Nutrition problems. 

In 2000 Kingdom Kids received a room for making sensory stimulation. Since 2005 children from the orphanage were put in special homes with about 10-12 children in each one. Casa Grace continued to work as a partner with Child Protection operating in the original Ceausescu orphanage, where children received :     

– Love and attachment
– Tactile stimulation (they interact with different textures, different shapes vibration toys)
– Visual stimulation (changing the environment, interacting with different colours, fiber optic, mirror, lights)
– Hearing stimulation (listening to music, different musical toys, different sounds)
– Tasting stimulation (these children recognized only two types of food. We started to make them accept a spoon, water, introducing a new kind of food in them – puree until they accepted new solid food e.g., yogurt, fruits, chocolate and then teaching them to feed themselves with the spoon and not to drink the food
– Aroma therapy -Different smells and flavours.
– Developing coordination, refine motor skills and patience.
– Developing how to handle, explore and manipulate a toy,
– Developing coordination Visual-motor.
– Developing of attention and concentration,
– Developing of self-trust,
– Environment exploration.   
– Relax and fun time.
– A trusting relationship with people.

The scope of the Kingdom Kids programme is to improve the quality of life, to prevent the effects of institutionalisation and to develop the maximum potential of these children.

In the centre the beneficiaries are children with special needs from special homes and children with disabilities from families.

Both categories being marginalized: orphans (abandoned children) with disabilities and children from families where only one parent works because the Mum needs to stay with the child, or single mothers. Some families include Casa Grace clients i.e. families on the Feeding Programme.  Working with children or person(s) with disabilities involves: love, patience, repeating the same thing many times and working many hours until a small improvement is evident.

Thank you, Dora, in closing let me quote 2 Chronicles 16:9 ‘The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him’.  As I launch this new programme, I am persuaded in my heart there is no limit as to what the Lord can do through hearts that are totally committed to Him. My prayer today is found in the words of George Whitefield ‘Lord make me an extraordinary Christian’.

Shirley, July 23, 2021.

“Is This ‘MY’ Moment?”

‘We have this moment to hold in our hands
And to touch as it slips
Through our fingers like sand.
Yesterday’s gone
And tomorrow may never come
But we have this moment today’.  
(Gaither Vocal Band).

Our life is but a moment’s time; days, weeks, months, years, soon we are gone.  Our moments are precious.  We, as individuals differ, thus, our moments differ. Some have a breath-taking moment; a moment of longing; a moment of regret; a moment of pause; a moment that has changed life forever.  Whatever our moment, we must hold it firmly in the palm of our hand.  Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come. Today, give one of your moments to touch with love, to speak a tender word.

Photo by Kseniya Mazaeva from Pexels

This morning, I embraced a ‘pause’ moment, as I quietly envisaged a beautiful little girl running through the poppy meadows of Romania with her ‘Daddy’.  Mircea the young man of thirty-three has lost his battle with cancer after a long and extreme period of suffering.  His little girl of three was his special treasure, the delight of his life. Grasping the hands of his loving wife and devoted mother, he softly whispered his final ‘Good-Night Daddy’, knowing he would not see the delight of his life as morning broke.

Kevin and his mum wait patiently for the results of the second biopsy. He has undergone an MRI scan which is showing a nodule around his neck area. The surgeons are unclear in their diagnosis and other tests will be necessary.  Kevin was born with a deformity in his feet and although he has undergone many surgeries to date, he is scheduled for a further surgery as he is still unable to walk properly.  However, the first priority is to identify this new nodule and to receive clarification from the second biopsy.  

David (14) diagnosed with mixed Tetra Paresis and Polycystic Hydrocephalus. He is lovingly cared for by his mother who loves him dearly. The father abandoned him asking his wife to choose between her husband or her son. 

Naomi (3) has been diagnosed with stage III cancer. She is helped through the feeding programme. They live in a village about 50 km away from Oradea. They need to come regularly to the hospital for check-ups. Naomi has 9 siblings, and 5 of them are under 18 years old. She has a sister, Ana (14) who has had to leave school, abandoning her education in order to assist with the care of her little brothers. 

My pen continues to write and yet I have another ‘pause moment’ to ask myself the question: ‘How can one measure the price of love?’.

Elisabeta, a precious friend of many years, is stable as her cancer is in remission. A home filled with moments of blessing.  During my visits with Estera, Elisabeta would read the Psalms and John, her husband, sang so beautifully.   A tiny one room with dual purpose of living and sleeping quarters.  As with my dear Catalina, my moments were precious.  

Tabita (40) and her son, David (14). Tabita is a patient who lost her stomach a few years ago due to cancer; now the condition has deteriorated.  The medical team have advised that her life expectancy is short as her weight is plummeting due to lack of food and nutrition. Tabita is a single parent as she is separated from her husband who is unwilling to care for David in the event of his mother’s death.   The wider family plan to send David to America, where he has other relatives. Tabita’s mother is trying to care for her beloved daughter in her final days.  David loves his grandmother and is shaken by the uncertainty of his future.  His grandmother is too ill to care for a young teenager alone.  The family are part of a Pentecostal church in Oradea. The Church are praying the Lord will heal Tabita but we know our times are in His hands and we rest in the providence of a loving Heavenly Father.

Georgeta (49) must undergo an immediate mastectomy which is urgent to prevent a cancer relapse.  Georgeta was diagnosed twelve months ago with breast cancer and multiple metastases throughout her body. During recent investigations, no sign of metastases could be found in her body, confirming the chemotherapy has proved highly efficient. Georgeta holds this moment as a miracle from God. The doctors have advised a total mastectomy is necessary which could save/prolong her life. 

My friend Szabo Emeric was promoted to Glory a few hours ago.  I paused for a moment of quietness, reflecting on my first visit with him and his dear wife who is blind.  A humble home yet a home with an overwhelming sense of the sweetness and presence of the Lord.  Bedridden and suffering from Colon cancer, Brother Emeric wanted to sing, although his voice was weak and his body worn.  He shared his testimony, his service to the Lord spanning fifty years. His voice was tired and low. During the days of the revolution he had faced many strong winds of sorrow and persecution.  Telling his story, he would stop for a moment and smile, there was a longing in his eyes; he was homesick for heaven and so today another soldier has come home.  The table in heaven will make room for one more.  His battles are over, he has won his war, he is safely home.

NINETEEN precious people have lost their battle with cancer during the month of June.  A further nineteen homes crushed by pain, suffering and now loss.  No soft rose petals only briers and thorns lined their pathway.  I took a moment to list those I have known, loved and lost.  Tears drop on to the keyboard as I write, my Dada (4) who told Mummy to stop crying as Jesus was coming for her; my precious Denisa (24) who fought so hard to live; Baby Alexandra; Brother Florin; the list is endless.  I wonder was my service acceptable? By God’s grace, I will meet them in Glory.  

My friends Monika, Estera, Gabi tell me my families and patients miss ‘my smile’.  These are my sad moments.  One week after my wedding in 2012, Hamilton and I left for Romania; a silent professor was worried – how would I react?  I knew the moment I landed I had left myself behind. My weeks there getting to know the people, the culture, resulted in the fact that my life would never be the same.  At first, I tried to hide the ‘me’ inside, the fear. But God had reshaped my life.  These people have left a lasting impression. How I miss them! My times with my patients and families.  It is where I want to be, but until we can be together my love and footprints remain.

Gabi writes:  Sister Shirley, we are so happy that we can work together to save lives and souls. Praise the Lord for His mercifulness and kindness that He shows every single day. We chose to be in His ministry whatever the cost, the times or trials.  Our trust is in Him, He guides us gently in this ministry according to His time and purpose.

Fear is a powerful emotion, an overwhelming experience leading to a feeling of failure of the unknown tomorrow.  The indefiniteness and unpredictableness is a stark reality for many young Roma girls.  I ‘shrink’ in my chair as I share with you four case studies this month.

Perla is facing the trauma of providing for two babies.  Her husband is serving a prison sentence. She came to us, desperate, as the financial hardships were overwhelming.  Iochebed provided basic provision for survival. We will continue to monitor the situation and support with wisdom.  Please pray for Perla and her babies, pray they will find the Lord and pass through these difficult times.

Anisoara has six children, one with serious heart issues. We have scheduled him for a consultation and will cover the cost incurred plus the medication. Pray for this little boy that the Lord will smile in healing. May our witness result in the salvation of this precious family.

Iasmina (16) has made the choice to fight for her unborn baby. Unfortunately, she has issues in the pregnancy. The tests have highlighted serious areas of concern.  She will require further tests as the pregnancy progresses.  We have covered all costs to date and will continue to do so throughout the pregnancy.   Pray for her and her unborn baby that the pregnancy will run smoothly throughout the full term.

Moise is the new-born baby of one of our clients.  Baby Moise has a deformity in his legs, both legs have had to be immobilised.

You do not know these young girls; they are a face, a person you read about, a nobody.  They live from day to day on a daily provision of nothingness.  They have no money for basic necessities such as food and clothing and exist in meagre surroundings.  We are privileged to receive treatment, surgery, medication ‘free of charge’ – not so in Romania.  Hospital treatment, medication is not free – a precious brother in the Lord had to pay for a bandage for his surgery wound.  Sensitive issues to me and ones that make me feel I am the ‘nobody’. Would I survive?  Would I accept? 

My friend Dora has such a compelling passion for all the severally disabled, down syndrome, orphan children and the abandoned babies.  Monika was stopped on the streets of Oradea this week by a parent overwhelmed by the love and care offered free by Casa Grace to her little one.  The seas of bitterness have swept over many who do not know the meaning of ‘love’.  By donating to the Feeding Programme and supplying a treat (one sweet) during therapy, you bring a smile to a pair of dark eyes and a mop of curly hair.  May the Lord bless you for thinking of and benefiting these special children. The Lord has remembered young Florin (9) as a friend and sister in the Lord has donated a sum of money for clothing and shoes. A very special little boy who has little or no clothing, no expensive or up to date toys yet he is friendly and talkative and continues to smile.  He is receiving personal therapy from Dora as he will require surgery on his feet.  He is prone to fall as he is unable to walk properly. Work with children with disabilities means:  hours of work, repeating the same thing until the child will learn it; and then continue to repeat it so as not to lose it…. The work involves: love passion and a lot of patience, to get a small progress… Even a smile.  Precious moments. 

Monika writes:   What shall I say about this month? As all the other months of pandemic, this month was a hard month for all of us.  As I look back, even in the hardest days, because of Him, Casa Grace’s beneficiaries were supported and encouraged on a continuous basis. It’s a privilege to serve Him together with my colleagues, and to admit together that He is in control and a loving Father.  I give thanks for Neil and Mari who maintains daily contact with the families, encouraging them and offering them food and hygiene provisions. We know it is God’s love for these families, having the support each month, and we give thanks for all of you who have chosen to be close to these families who are going through struggles. May your love and care for them, lift them in the middle of dark days, and may they find Jesus and be rooted in Him!

A family with eight children. No home!  Ten people without a roof over their head now moving to a ‘make-shift’ home in a storehouse above a shop – third move in a space of months.  One child has health problems and all the children received treatment for it. It was a great joy for them to receive basic food from CASA. 

Another lady and her daughter received food yesterday. The lady struggles to take care of her daughter because she must work full days in order to survive. The father is disinterested in his daughter and chose not to be with his wife.  The mother struggles alone.  Her income is low and she lives in a rented accommodation.  To receive food from Casa Grace Feeding Programme is a blessing.

A needy family came to CASA and when they received food they wept. The help has only been occasional; but we would like to continue to help this family. Families are extremely grateful for receiving help during the pandemic when for some their income is nil due to unemployment.

Mariana has endured living life in a desert pit experience, cancer taking her young husband, fire demolishing her village home, the crushing weight as she battles her personal fight with cancer.  Mariana has been unable to eat or drink for some weeks as the effect of the chemotherapy closed part of her throat and she was extremely sick.  The consultant is planning to continue the final two treatments depending on Mariana’s tolerance level.  Surgery to remove the stoma has been scheduled for early September.  We wait with expectancy as we know that even though in faith Elijah heard the sound of rain – God made him wait.  We wait before a God whose love and faithfulness is unending.   We have been supporting this precious family with food provision and medical costs and will continue as the Lord provides.  Mariana is now in possession of the legal documents of her new village home, the keys are safely tucked away.  Monika will travel on Friday to chat things through as some refurbishing will be required to enable the family to move into their very own home.  We plan to assist with white goods etc.

The Vocational Training Room continues under the supervision of Dana, ably assisted by Berta and Stefan.  Three modules are on offer and already a long waiting list is in operation for the courses.  We have refurbished the room with sewing machines etc but there is an urgent need for eight Tailoring Chairs. 

I am proving day by day that donations in any form is never devoid of divine purpose and by divine appointment.  Brother Eric Thompson from Carrowdore directed a brother my way ….. Brother Jim delivered over two hundred packets of much needed Tena Pads. How can I do anything but rest in the knowledge the Lord is in control of ‘ALL’ things.

I have many moments, personal moments remembering Lights that shone brightly in the darkness of night.  At times I feel the need for quietness knowing that in our silent moments the Lord is moulding us for fruitful service.  Thinking on this, I refer to my beloved husband.  Hamilton’s passion for Romania is unwavering.  While there are two arms to Tell Romana – Theology and Humanitarian – the Moore’s serve as ONE.

Tell Romania leased Databases for faculty, staff and students, to ensure all have access to work online during this past academic year. He remains as Editor of the Emanuel University Journal, Semanatorul, (The Sower), published Bi-annually. The aim is to reach a level where, when faculty contribute, their articles receive points, which will maintain their standing as teachers recognised by the Romanian Education Authority. 

His book on the Pastoral Epistles, already in Romanian, has now been translated into Hungarian (there are many Hungarian speakers and Hungarian Baptist Churches in Romania because of its history). It is about to be published in Russian. The commentary on Galatians is now in the early stages of translation into Romanian and Russian.

A new book is due to be released in September, entitled Hallelujah, What a Saviour!  – a fifty-two-week Study book of how Jesus is revealed throughout the whole Bible. Two other books are in the pipeline:  The God who does Wonders and a commentary on the Epistle of 1 John. 

Often, I find my husband writing in the early hours of the morning, preparing a cuppa, I think to myself and smile, ‘Give your life to God and he will surely give you back your life’.  Lord, keep us faithful. 

There are moments when every step is illuminated, there are moments when our eyes grow dim, questions have no answers, what do I do?  Bow the knee.

Are there limits?’

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labour is not in vain in the Lord’ 1 Cor 15:58.

‘Are there limits?’ My response matters!  At 4am, alone in my study, sipping a hot cup of tea, I thought of those who sadly are not exempt from the heartaches of this world, those who trust ‘The darkest hour means dawn is just in sight’.

 No one likes to wait, we are busy, we have our planned agenda, targets to meet. I am a list maker, my ‘things to do’ list outline responsibilities and things I want to accomplish each day.  We all differ, I have everything in its place and a place for everything.  Yet, on many occasions, the Lord in his love, interrupted my thinking or changed my plans.  Times when during the waiting, I would have much preferred to move forward, times when I walked a continual road of darkness rather than a preferred path of light.  How I thank the Lord for teaching me to be still in a non-stop world. A world filled with the everyday business of life, where days are so full there is no time to be still.  A text dear to my heart: ‘Sit still, my daughter, until you know how the matter will turn out’.  Reflecting on the story of Ruth, admiring her faithful dedication to her mother-in-law who had suffered great and personal loss, I thought of those who feel the inner pangs of loneliness, who through the pain of loss, embrace emptiness as their everyday companion.   They live in a house filled with silence and memories, longing for the telephone to ring; perhaps that the empty mailbox would contain a letter.  During the early days of widowhood, I found my own silence deafening. 

There is no limit to loving and how we respond really does matter.  It does not require extravagance, just a small token or a thoughtful gesture is all that is needed.  I smile as I think of the small things in life; bunches of crushed dandelions, wilting buttercups or daisy chains, all given with love and simplicity from little hands that had nothing else to offer.  The beauty of God’s handiwork whether in the form of a perfect rose or a sad little dandelion assures us that love is gentle, love is kind.

Be still, my soul, The Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God, to order and provide
In every change, He faithful will remain
Be still, my soul, thy best thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways, leads to a joyful end.

I find it difficult to grasp that certain qualities of my life are not those of the Roma girls who are regarded by many as coming from a low position simply because they do ‘menial work’.  As I greet a new day my prayer is that my ‘Servant Heart’ may be open to listen to all, regardless of background or position and if I so possess the heart of a true Servant, I must be willing to serve those who are not admired but rather isolated.  As I write to you, I am challenged and hit hard by a lesson in reality.  I invite you to enter the lives of these teenagers and young women who struggle, battle broken relationships, sadness, disappointments and hope one day their problems will vanish.   Life has caused many to become resilient to their hardships.  Would we want or even choose this life?  Methinks not, but we can build a bridge of hope and trust.

GEANINA (16) is the mother of a beautiful baby girl (sixteen months).  Geanina is pregnant again. In her heart she longs for a secure place to call home and filled with the qualities we read in Galatians 5: 22-23.  Her first reaction was one of panic where she felt unable to keep this second baby.  We thank the Lord after much thought, Geanina has decided to keep her child; another saved life.  Now we pray that this teenage mum will come to know the Lord as her Saviour as we continue to support her and her little ones.

ANA, another sixteen-year-old girl who gave birth to a baby boy eight weeks ago.  The father abandoned them, leaving Ana alone with her baby and her elderly mother.  Ana’s mother is in deep poverty, living in unimaginable conditions.  She wants to support her daughter in rearing this little one.  Ana and her mother have asked Iochebed if they could assist by supplying dried milk, baby clothes, pampers.  A poverty-stricken family, a beautiful baby boy forsaken by his father, deeply wounded by disappointments, lost opportunities are gone forever.  When the Lord asks us to do ‘something’ he makes a way.  God opened his storehouse to meet this need in touching hearts by divine appointment.  Iris, who lovingly fills three boxes of new children’s clothing every year. Tony supplied two boxes of pampers and Eileen filled three surprise boxes.  Are there any limits?

PETRONELA has just given birth to her sixth child. In a previous blog we informed you Petronela was suffering from Hepatitis B; therefore, the baby had to be vaccinated immediately after birth.  The baby was underweight and very weak, crying twenty-four hours each day, resulting in a hernia; the baby is now waiting for surgery.

MARTA (21) has two children aged four and two.  She is now into her second month of pregnancy with her third child and is feeling overwhelmed.  Her little son of four years old has severe health issues and is waiting on a hospital appointment for further investigations.

ANI is the young mother of four children.  Her baby girl of fifteen months has serious health issues as for several months now she has begun to lose consciousness.  This little one is also waiting further investigations.

Another five teenage and young mothers whose opportunities seem hopeless, searching in vain for a glimmer of hope. Their loveless lives have left scars that go deep. They are regarded as the ‘nobodies of society’.   We can offer faith, bring comfort and give assurance that God alone is our refuge. ‘Blessed is God who has not withdrawn his love and care from them. 

FEBRUARY 1996 – two young ladies with a special heart filled with an insatiable conviction for cancer patients.  They sensed a calling from God to minister into the lives of precious people diagnosed with inoperable cancer, discharged by an oncologist and sent home to die. Emanuel Hospice Homecare Team has grown throughout these twenty-five years into a small team who have become bright and shining lights in a private world of darkness.  How can one evaluate the level of pain as a mother, father watches their little ones they will soon leave behind, or the emotional stress of a loved one keeping a bedside vigil for a loved one in the advanced stages of cancer?  Last month I reported FORTY-NINE patients had died within our care.  Sadly the numbers have risen to SIXTY patients.  The pain and suffering continue to increase as does our concern for where they will spend eternity.

KEVIN maintains steady progress following his recent surgery.  The surgeon in Timisoara questioned the results from the biopsy carried out in Oradea and has requested a repeat.  We are waiting for the answer.

TAMARA (4) has been diagnosed with leukaemia.  Her young parents are emotionally devastated as they watch their little one suffering with severe adverse reactions from chemotherapy and various medications.  They feel blessed to receive from our feeding programme as the rising cost of medication is difficult for this poor family.

MIRCEA (33). His condition is visibly deteriorating.  Heart-breaking for this young father as he watches his beloved wife, his little daughter who is her ‘Daddy’s Treasure’, knowing each day is another day nearer his home call.  His mother stands by lovingly caring for her son, aware his days are short and time is limited.  The final ‘Goodnight Daddy’ will be soon. 

It can happen suddenly and lives are changed forever.  Panic greets the early morning sunrise.  The cares of this world weigh heavy for many and as I write, I will try to put into proportion the level of pain and sadness surrounding two of our adult Hospice patients. 

LUCIA (56) has been diagnosed with a brain tumour.  Her husband cares lovingly for his beloved wife.  Lucia was an accomplished accountant and discovered the tumour when she became aware of difficulty in reading, speaking, walking. A series of tests concluded a brain tumour and surgery was arranged.  Following her brain surgery Lucia has remained paralyzed on her right side and aphasic (unable to speak). Lucia had as pleasant personality and enjoyed conversing with people.  However, she finds herself trapped within her disabled body not even being able to cry out the pain of her broken heart. She is suffering from depression, tearful for the most part of the day and feels a burden to her husband. Pray that God will strengthen Lucia, grant her the peace that surpasses all understating and the grace of knowing the Lord Jesus, the Hope of glory.

ESTHER (78) a sweet lady of Hungarian ethnicity, whose cancer of the uterine metastasized to her skin, lungs and recently there have been suspicions of brain metastases.  She is presently bed bound and is now developing pressure wounds that are lovingly dressed by Dana, one of the Hospice devout nurses. Esther was a very active woman and loved selling fruit and vegetables on the open market until last spring. She misses meeting people and spending time in the sun and fresh air. During the past weekend, Esther’s condition has deteriorated significantly and she has started to have convulsions. Anna, (26) niece, is caring for Esther but is frightened and has trouble sleeping at night. She fears the convulsions will develop and become intense.  Pray that Esther will find relief from her discomfort and that she will find rest in the Arms of the Everlasting Father. 

A Hospice bed unit is needed in order to provide the proper level of care for patients on a continuous basis. She, as many others, requires medical supervision and her family members feel overwhelmed by the situation. We thank the Lord for his timely provision in supplying the various medical equipment we have transported to Emanuel Hospice during the past months.  Another shipment is on its way, thanks to Isobel.  

The singing of the birds is always music to my ears. Quietly opening the study doors, my friends continued to serenade me, reminding me of the beauty of God’s creation.  I was suddenly struck with the majesty of God and turned to Psalm 8.  I felt I was reading with a different heart, a heart humbled and overwhelmed by the greatness of God. As I outline the update of my dear Mariana and her seven children, I cry: ‘Lord, yours alone is the glory’.

MARIANA. In talks with Mariana yesterday, she is very weak yet determined to slowly walk each stage of this harrowing journey.  The Oncologist knows in his heart it will take a miracle.  A wilderness saga for Mariana and one that is lonely.  I try to place myself in her position, aware that my help is very feeble and although I know in my heart Mariana’s flame is but a flicker, there is one who can turn the entire situation around.  And it has begun:  A village home has been purchased for this precious family of eight, close to the village school.  An enclosed plot will enable the children to grow their own vegetables.  The providence of God is so precious; the children will be together in a home of their own.  Once the keys are handed over, the fear of separation will be removed. Although willing, it was an impossible situation for Mariana to handle alone; now it has been turned into one of blessing.  There are still unanswered questions, but for now, all I need to know is that God is in control.  My prayer for Mariana is that she may sing from a true heart: ‘O may my love for Thee, Pure, warm and changeless be, A living fire, My faith looks up to Thee…’ And yet there is more, Barbara has sent three boxes filled with school backpacks for the children.  Impossible situations?  Not in God’s agenda.

A NEW FAMILY:  A mining village is home to nine children who live in deep poverty. Their mother was diagnosed with cancer and returning home from work one evening, the father drove over 300 kilometres to hospital, twice in one evening.  Yes, 1,200 kilometres in one night.  Mummy did not return home from hospital.  The Lord sees our tears and he is watching over these precious nine children.  All we need to know is that you and I together are making a small difference in these lives.  Many would only have crumbs on their table but because you care their cry for food has been answered through YOU.  Thank you for feeding these precious ten people.

OUR DORA is and always will be special.  I love her so much and in my recent video clip she decided to sing a song for Dr. Moore – my heart, my arms long to reach out and touch her.  John, her father contracted Covid but praise the Lord, although weak, he is recovering.  Pray for John who has cared for Dora for over forty years, that he will be able to continue to care for his beloved Dora.  John is in his mid-seventies and has personal health issues.  Dora told me she is thinking of making a surprise visit as it has been a long time since our last visit.

KINGDOM KIDS: Therapy is ongoing for the orphan, disabled and abandoned children.  One case study pulled at the strings of my heart. Florin, a little boy of nine, over sixty kilometres from Oradea, who attends regularly for personal therapy, has little or no clothes.  Some days he comes in borrowed clothing; other days, his outer garment is in rags.  I felt sad and deeply hurt for this precious little life who has a deformed body – a hard road for this little one. My feeling should be turned into action.  I pray the Lord will control our response.

Staff are overwhelmed as they see and feel the sorrow and pain of those with serious health issues.  Covid restrictions cause treatment(s) to be more complicated, more expensive.  Hospitals are so overcrowded they are unable to offer a normal service; therefore, an appointment, diagnosis takes longer.  I need you to stand with me in praying for the teams of Emanuel Hospice, Iochebed and Casa Grace.  They are under pressure and totally exhausted.  May the Lord guide them, renew their strength and provide for the needs of each day. 

SOFRONEA: My adopted son Andrei is fully aware of the principles surrounding his role as Pastor and has embraced them admirably.  He is a young man dedicated to the furtherance of the gospel.    Church services have recommenced in the field adjacent to his village church.  Andrei has a burden to reach the younger generation, ensuring the witness of the church for generations to come.  He studies hard to fill the baskets with food for each Lord’s Day, as young families travel forty miles to hear ‘The Word’.  Andrei has fresh bread, following the example of the Lord Jesus who always had food for the hungry, green pastures for the multitudes that followed seeking refreshment and teaching.  Pray for wisdom for Andrei, spiritual growth in his church.

Oswald Chambers writes: ‘The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like the stars in heaven and the lilies in the field, perfectly, simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mould us.’

Shirley, May 28, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Newtownabbey, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ.

A Heart of Passion in Suddenness of Change

Samuel Rutherford writes: ‘The soul is a castle that may be besieged but cannot be taken.’

‘Besieged but cannot be taken’ – powerful words.  The profiles, the features in my mind cause a brokenness within my heart.  During the month of April, I have been trying to discover through God’s word, his heart for me as an individual.  I need to be a woman of passion but more importantly a woman of purpose. One who will enrich rather than dimmish, one who will never destroy hope but offer it graciously.  But, again my famous ‘But,’ do I have these characteristics?  The following are not stories but the reality of lives I know personally and love, Remarkable lives who suffer in silence, searching eyes looking through a cot in a lonely room, hoping to be chosen, loved, even hugged.  This morning as I sat at my desk trying to place my heart on paper, I retraced my steps through the forest of Cighid where I walked hand in hand with fifty forgotten lives.  Perhaps a deer would pass and the excited adult orphans would run clutching a wild strawberry, even a dandelion, to place in your hand.  This was their way of saying ‘thank you’ as they are limited in their communication.  The mind of a child! The value of a child!  My Mum used to tell me I was ‘priceless’ to her and how we laughed together.  Yet, these days, I am overcome with a passion to make a child feel indeed a ‘priceless’ gift.    George Muller penned:

 ‘Every child of God is not called by the Lord to establish schools and orphan houses and to trust in the Lord for means for them. Yet, there is no reason why you may not experience, far more abundantly than we do now, His willingness to answer the prayers of His children.’

Image used for illustration purposes – not a Romanian child.
Free image from pexels.com

The daughter of Pharaoh found a priceless gift discretely hidden and gave him a home; the Lord gave Samuel to Hannah to love and cherish before fulfilling her promise of giving him back to the Lord; Sarah was given the gift of her beloved Issac; Rebekah waited long for her sons.   I never tire of reading the story of Ruth, a noble and faithful daughter-in-law whom God rewarded.   Naming only a few, yet what a divinely appointed future awaited these children.  I have prayerfully set my heart to launch PENTRU COPII (‘For the Children’), and in doing so, my life must portray my heart. I must try to remove unfulfilled dreams, hurt, replacing these with a love that is deep and lasting.

Darkness was falling, but still scantily dressed children could be found wandering the empty streets in search of food; knocking on car windows begging for bread, selling tiny bunches of wild flowers, or wild mushrooms by the wayside.  The brokenness of hunger is real, their voice had no need to speak, their hungry eyes and fragile bodies spoke for them.  All I could think about was baby Florin who was fed on sugar and water for the first eighteen months of his short life.  Children placed in Orphanages for eight years, because there was only enough food for one; love made this choice.  Choices to be made, heart-breaking choices, leading to a life of fear and brokenness, where lives never recover.  Widows struggling to raise thirteen plus children alone; little one’s longing for ‘Daddy,’ ‘Mummy.’  My ‘quiet times’ were disturbed and I found myself questioning, ‘Shirley, where are your thoughts, what are you thinking?’ 

I feel I am in God’s classroom, being taught, yet waiting instruction.  As a student, one is asked to choose a Curriculum. My skills, though somewhat limited, cry to the Lord to choose the Curriculum for me.  PENTRU COPII has been on my heart for many months.  I feel I have been in a wilderness, alone with the stress of ‘Am I doing enough?’  ‘Am I willing to go a little farther?’  As I finished my March blog, I knew there had to be a change.  ‘Do I love my neighbour?’  I alone can answer! A new day and a new work.  PENTRU COPII will care for bereaved and terminally ill children, providing pastoral support, food, clothing, school necessities. Case Studies will be submitted by Casa Grace, Emanuel Hospice and Iochebed Foundations.  The Feeding Programme will remain in operation.

Serve with me, love with me.   ‘Give us this day our daily bread.’  Hundreds of children hunger for bread, help me feed the hungry.   George Muller wrote: ‘Be assured, if you walk with Him and look to Him and expect help from Him, He will never fail you.’  I will continue to ‘walk’, ‘look’ and ‘expect,’ knowing the Lord will never fail to send Fellow Servants ‘For Such a Time as This.’

Tears stained the pages of the current medical report regarding my precious MARIANA.  I had no words to describe the inner feeling of my heart and as I prayed, I remembered the words of Elisabeth Elliot ‘Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that your will governs all.’   My mind is in a permanent world of silence where I am unable to find answers. Years of disappointment and suffering is all Mariana has known, she has been severely tried and her future is unknown.  Mariana’s body is now overtaken by disease and weakness; her Oncologist plans to continue chemotherapy although it is causing serious side effects.  He has a heart for her precious children who are bewildered and fearing separation from their beloved Mama. Let us make them our own children of promise, where we promise to love and provide for them.  Talks are ongoing with a young Hungarian Baptist Pastor whose parents serve in Monika’s church, hosting Sunday Bible Study Groups.  Although three villages away from Mariana’s village he has visited Mariana and her seven children. There was an evident interest and acceptance as he shared the gospel and read and prayed before leaving.  A group of sisters with a heart and calling to serve the sick will call weekly to read and pray with Mariana.  Many of you have taken Mariana to your heart. I ask you to whisper her name every waking hour and I pray, ‘Lord, please let Mariana reach out and touch you.’

The staggering number of patients who have died in our care has now reached FORTY-NINE.  Broken hearts remain with their memories.  Oh, that we could simply be used to show that we do care.  These numbers include babies, little ones, young adults and elderly – this terminal illness is no respecter of person(s) or ages. We know where to expect a beautiful flower in full bloom, but the same Gardener also tends the desert. 

A young man (41) bereft of family and friends, died alone after a long period of suffering. 

KEVIN:  Our precious treasure, still mourning the sudden passing of his beloved father.  The Oncologist report from the recent biopsy confirmed Kevin’s cancer has returned.  Gabi is devastated. Another shadow of darkness has fallen across her path.  Taking Kevin on her knee, she lovingly told her little son; they cried together.  They are considering commencing chemotherapy again. Kevin is scheduled to have a surgery this Tuesday, 04 May to remove the tumour. The surgery is high risk. 

DANIEL (11) a new patient we wrote to you about last month with advanced cancer (glial tumour of the cerebral fossa) known to be one of the most devastating forms of brain tumour when in the posterior fossa.  Abandoned as a baby, reared by his loving grandparents; to them he is their ‘Son’ whom they love dearly.  His condition continues to deteriorate and his chemotherapy has serious side effects.  Eleven years of suffering, abandoned, now unable to walk, his grandparents question the waste of such a perfect little life.

MIRCEA (33) was in our care a few years ago, his cancer has returned and is more aggressive. He and his young wife are devastated. They are aware of the limited prognosis. They have a young daughter and her father is the happiness of her life. They have such a wonderful relationship. It is heart-breaking as they slowly, lovingly begin the process of parting.

ALEX TOMA – his condition remains unchanged and although physiotherapy is ongoing, his body, muscles, continue to waste away.  Cosmina (sister) is to be married during the second week of May. This will be a big change for the family as she is the main carer for Alex. 

GETA (48) Breast Cancer with bone metastases is lovingly cared for by her son Andrew (17).   She is going through her eighth round of chemotherapy and her body is very tired. Geta has started to open her heart to the gospel and her faith in God is growing stronger. She told Daria she had stopped praying to Mary and understands God has a special plan through her suffering, and she is learning to trust in Him regardless of the unknown future with all its uncertainties.

We thank the Lord that Marinela (Director), Dr. Beni and Daria are recovering.  The entire team minister to the sick and dying with no regard for their own safety.  They are covered.  

The situation seemed hopeless yet our faithful, unfailing God turned the situation around.  A further four hundred ampules of Buscopan were transported to Emanuel Hospice, making a total of seven hundred in stock.  We wish to acknowledge the assistance of Dr. Felicity Burnham, Allan Hopper who has been instrumental in obtaining a supply of disposable Face Visors and Face Masks – already a large number of boxes are on route to Oradea and Suceava.  Fellow Servants together.  

LASMINA (15), 17 weeks pregnant. Tests have confirmed there is cause for concern regarding her liver.  This young girl of fifteen struggles; she has not felt the baby moving and is filled with fear and anxiety.  Lasminia is very young with no one to care; she longs to hold a healthy baby in her arms – whisper her name?

RAMONA (18) has two children, one aged two and one aged one.  She is six weeks pregnant with her third baby.  Ramona came requesting a pregnancy test and was devastated to learn it was positive.  She did not plan or expect a pregnancy so soon.  Her main concern is this third baby will have to be by caesarean. Our prayer is that the Lord will reveal himself to this young woman and give her power and strength to raise her children.

GEORGIANA (18) has a baby girl aged one.  Last week she gave birth to a baby boy.   Her husband has made bad choices; he was imprisoned for a period of four weeks. She is alone and very frightened as to what the future will hold for her.  Her mother-in-law is pressuring her to give her baby to Child Services even for a short period of time. Georgiana loves her babies and does not want to part with them.  Her mind is in turmoil and at only eighteen, where can she go or who can she turn to?  I know the One who will say: ‘Come unto me…’ 

JESSICA has two children and came to our centre requesting a pregnancy test. The news the pregnancy test is positive came as a shock.  She is facing many financial issues. During the counselling session, she broke down in tears, asking us to support her in prayer to enable her to accept this little life growing within her with joy and acceptance.  It is difficult for Jessica to accept this baby as a blessing owing to the hardship that she and her family faces on a daily basis.  Another mouth to feed?

NARCISA (22) has four children and will soon give birth to her fifth baby.  Narcisa is unwell and has asked us to support her in prayer.

Many young girls are in a net of entanglement where their outlook is hopeless.  Let us pray the net will break, offering a new beginning ‘In Him’.

Roma girls and ladies make their way to Iochebed and yet the dreary sound of howling winds and driving rain often ends with a beautiful sunset. An extremely poor young couple came in desperate need of counselling and help.  So poor, they could not afford food.  Attending counselling on a regular basis, two babies were born during this time, both with extreme sight problems.  Gabi has been in consultation with an Ophthalmologist regarding glasses.  Through the interest and sisterly love shown by our team, SABINA and her young man are now legally married.  They have made a decision to follow the Lord and have been baptized. At times we are called to minister in a different, perhaps a difficult situation. Our interventions are by divine appointment leading us to be blessed and encouraged in the way.

SISTER MAGDALENA has been known to Casa Grace for many years.  Food prices are escalating and life is difficult for the elderly, homeless and desperately poor families. Magdalena, although elderly herself, is nursing her sick husband, now confined to bed permanently.  She also has a severely handicap adult son who has many ongoing health issues.  It brings sadness to my heart to think this precious lady had to walk with the aid of a stick many miles to ask for ‘bread.’  

A SINGLE MOTHER who lived a life of fear, owing to violent and alcoholic partners. Two children, living in a rented flat where conditions are basically unacceptable. Her son has many medical issues relating to his heart. Before the Covid pandemic the mother worked as a kitchen assistant in a nearby restaurant. However due to lockdown, restrictions, and the curfew, the restaurant has been closed for many months.  There is no income only £180 state allowance monthly.

SOFRONEA has felt the pain of Covid, lately many people from the church and surrounding villages have died, including the former Mayor of Sofronea who was Ligia’s employer.  His oxygen level became extremely low resulting in a coma.   Sofronea is in Red Scenario as fatalities continue to increase. Andrei is called and occupies a difficult position filled with many responsibilities for such a young man.  He is totally committed to his church, witnessing in surrounding villages and teaching English in the village schools. He maintains his interest in Alex, who is well but lacks the courage to come to Church or Youth Meetings. Pray for Alex, as his homelife leaves a lot to be desired and yet he continues to study tirelessly to gain an education.

EASTER IN ROMANIA this weekend and a surprise was awaiting my precious children in the Orphanage Centre in Oradea, where I spent many days with my friend Dora (Therapist). Each child received an Easter Bonnet with a chocolate egg and also a few chocolate rabbits. To Auntie Barbara, Auntie Mavis, to everyone who contributed to make ninety-nine children smile, I THANK YOU. (Some children received one extra sweet as a reward for good progress in Therapy. Yes, ONE SWEET!  

In closing let me leave with you the words of Deut. 15:18 ‘The Lord thy God shall bless thee in all that thou doest.’ I must confess, there are days when I feel overburdened, my mind is filled with responsibilities and yet I know in my heart I am given these for a reason. This blog is filled with heartache and I feel it deeply. Some have a challenging future, some, sadly, have no future in this life. The gospel offers them one in the next. God has called me to serve those I love in Romania, I must listen if I am to know blessing along the way.  Walk with me, let us serve together.

Shirley, Friday, April 30, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ.

I’ll be there to walk you through

‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.  When you pass throughthe waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. (Isaiah 43: 1-2)

‘What will I do, will I ever make it through?’  I wonder how many of us have ever come face to face with such a question?  I have!   Visiting one of my terminally ill patients, one who had become my friend, she grasped my hand, her voice now weak, her dark eyes searching my face as she softly whispered: ‘I am afraid, I know what lies before me; who will take me through this?’  Looking back on the reality of such emotion, my words were perhaps a poor interpretation of what I really wanted to say. Was I a true example of one who has learned compassion?  Kneeling by her bedside, I shared the Bread of Life, the One who would break the walls of fear saying: ‘Come, walk with me, let me carry you, let us cross this bridge of fear together’.  Only one life representing the countless thousands consumed with sickness, pain, sadness, abandonment, estrangement, hunger; the homeless robbed of life as they walk the cruel and empty streets.  Who would want or who would make this choice? 

A family of fourteen live in two rooms in this derelict building.
Broken homes, broken lives, broken hearts.

 Broken lives in need of assurance, runaways in need of rescue, frail bodies wrecked with pain, in need of relief, the orphan in need of love, a hungry world longing for food.  Is this a life worth living?   There is only one storehouse filled with the riches of unmerited grace, only One love that knows no limit, the Living God who cares enough to walk us ‘THROUGH’

Another month of testing, another thirty-five precious lives lost to cancer. My story seems unending as does the story of forgotten lives consumed with the fear of ‘tomorrow’.  Wasted years of enduring hardship, selfishness, abuse.  Their story is a journey of destruction and the reality of sacrifice, which at times I find unreal.   Within broken hearts lies a longing for kindness, gentleness, faithfulness.  

ROMANIA IS NOW ON ‘RED ALERT’ 5pm curfew in place, villages in total lockdown. Do I care enough to ease the bridge of hopelessness? Involvement demands commitment. I need to care enough to follow ‘THROUGH’. Will you help me help them make it THROUGHHelp me, help them find JESUS?  The power of prayer is unlimited; together we can pray them ‘THROUGH’.

The darkness of night surrounds my journey this month; lives without hope, purpose.  Another early morning ‘wake up’; sleep didn’t come easy (as per usual) last night, ending in my now daily ‘heart to heart’ with Hamilton. I too need to share my heart as just I feel the deep hurt and wounds surrounding my children, patients and families.   As darkness covered the earth, darkness is hovering over so many lives.  I know there is beauty in each morning and I have never lived this day (to-day) before. This morning as I opened my bible, the wonder of his grace overwhelmed me.  Talking to myself (quite normal for me) I said: ‘Shirley if you don’t praise even in your darkness, the very rocks will cry out’. I am stepping out on this another new morning with a heart of gratitude and thanks, knowing that the Lord is my covering, my shield, whose shield will protect me in the midst of it all. The trouble and turmoil which keep me occupied will be turned into praise. 

‘Hamilton, our prayers are answered’.  Yes, today we saw the living God at work.  Chatting with Estera a few days ago, she shared the need for a further supply of Buscopan 20mg ampules for our terminally ill patients who are facing the end of life with traumatic effects, resulting in added emotional stress for their loved one(s).   ‘Sister Shirley, I am sorry to ask again, but the staff, the patients are begging you to help them’.  I dared to doubt, making excuses in my mind of lockdown, isolation, availability.  Doubt took over, overcrowding my mind, but God had a lesson for me to learn.  Sitting quietly and pondering as to how this could be accomplished, I opened at a reading: ‘I believe God has heard my prayers.  He will make it manifest in His own good time that He has heard me.  I have recorded my petitions that when God has answered them, His name will be glorified’ (George Muller).

I knew then and was to prove that out of impossibility, in one day, the God of Compassion lovingly sent his provision and, in his time and plan.  Our friend Allan Hopper took three hundred ampules to the transport company and in faith we plan to secure another order.  To care is to follow ‘THROUGH’.

DANIEL (11), entered the care of Emanuel Hospice three weeks ago.  Daniel is a very sweet young boy, diagnosed with advanced cancer (glial tumour of the cerebral fossa). This type of brain tumour is one of the most devastating forms especially when occurring in the posterior fossa. His parents abandoned him when he was a new born baby. His elderly grandparents have been his parents and are heartbroken as they watch his frail body deteriorate. Entering the home, one is aware they live an impoverished and poverty-stricken life. They are desperately poor and in great need, knowing little of this world’s comforts.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me… (Matt 25: 35).  Thank you for supporting our 2021 Feeding Programme. This precious family have food on their ‘empty table’.

MARTON (44), suffering from liver cirrhosis is also a new patient. Besides his medical needs, Marton harbours many emotional wounds that require delicate and loving attention. He was neglected as a child, sent to an orphanage when he was seven and has remained institutionalized to this day. Although Marton suffers from a mild form of mental retardation, he is very coherent when sharing his story of hurt with a deep longing to be loved. Over the years he was transferred to several residential care centres and has heard the gospel several times. Pray the Lord will enter Marton’s heart before the end of his life. His life expectancy is now limited. 

Last month, I wrote regarding EDITH (50), and DORINA (55), both diagnosed with lung cancer. They died this month.  The Emanuel Hospice Team who so faithfully share the gospel had the joy of praying the sinner’s prayer with both ladies.  I will meet them again in Glory.

MARIA (58), suffering from uterine cancer and has been bed bound for over three months.  Her husband is lovingly assisting her in everything, as she is unable to change her position without help. During the past years, Maria has endured many rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, her suffering is ongoing and it is hard to accept how one can cope every day with such excruciating pain.   Maria says she is an atheist and with tears running down her face states that she will cease to exist when she dies. The power of prayer can touch her hardened heart causing her to accept in her troubled soul, the peace that surpasses all understanding.

SEVEN CHILDREN, scantily dressed, stand hand in hand, waving bye-bye to Mama, (the little one in tears) fourteen little feet sinking into a mud field.  Mama is setting off on the five-hour journey to Oradea. I can now confirm, MARIANA is in the advanced stages of terminal cancer, although just recovering from extensive surgery, another tumour has been located in her liver with growing concern regarding her lungs.  A six-month Chemotherapy timetable was planned with the addition of oral medication.  MARIANA’S body is so weak she is unable to continue after only one round of treatment.  She is very sick and experiencing incredibly difficult side effects.  I have known love and I have known loss – this pain is my pain. Seven precious little ones who have lost Daddy, their home, now fearing Mama will be taken from them.  The oldest child is fifteen and the youngest only five years of age. Mariana’s mother is with the family at present.   I have had little rest, little sleep these past weeks.  Little ones who have known only suffering.  Mariana has been alone since the death of her husband, isolated in an unsafe area without running water or electricity.  I trembled when I visualised this young woman slowly struggling to the river for water and in her weakness forced to ‘pick’ wild mushrooms to sell to obtain money for food for her seven children. Such faith to endure the burning fires of severe testing. Yes, I am totally broken.  For days, nights I had an overwhelming sense that I must not leave undone the things I ought to have done. Another quote from George Muller: ‘Our walk counts far more than our talk, always!’  My mind was captivated and I knew I had to do something.  My colleagues at Casa Grace and I have been praying the Lord would work a miracle of healing, giving this precious family ‘time’.  Still, I was uneasy, I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to go a little ‘farther’.  My telephone rang and it was my friend Pastor David McFarland, but more importantly, it was by divine appointment.  David shared Luke 22: 7-13, where Jesus sent Peter and John, saying, Go and prepare the Passover for us, that we may eat it. They said to him, ‘Where will you have us prepare it?’  No forward planning, no booking in place.  Where could they find a room at this short notice during Passover? Yet a stranger carrying water was used by the Lord to direct them to the right place and the master of the house immediately put a furnished upper room at their disposal. The Lord directed individuals who might never have known him and planned places where he had not previously visited, to fulfil His purposes.  

In fear and trembling I want to commence a new project namely, the ‘PENTRU COPII’ project, translated into English ‘FOR THE CHILDREN’.  We need to help this family find a better home, a home of safety and security.  But I also feel the need to develop a ministry for bereaved and terminally ill children.  Only one hour ago I received the news of one of our families.  A teenage Roma couple with a baby girl of seven months.  Baby Lara was born with a serious heart condition, her first seven months spent in ICU.  Monika had arranged a passport to enable this little darling to travel to Italy for heart surgery.  Her passport was not required; as the young parents sat by her cot, baby Lara went to heaven.  I cannot fight this feeling any longer, as I continue to read of the weakness, hardship, calamities.  In fact, I cannot imagine or begin to grasp the winds of adversity or analyse the pressure on lives crushed by storms that flood my desk day after day. Sickness is part of our broken world. Let us pray Jehovah Rophi will become real to this loving couple, to this loving mother and her seven children. At present the Mayor of a small nearby village is in talks with an organisation regarding housing for this precious family.  Shirley, out of what you consume, how much do you produce?  Wow!  In Romania, I am often awestruck when I see the love an elderly shepherd has for his sheep. The sheep are his life and these children have become mine.  Will you walk with me in the fields of life where we can offer greener pastures to lost little lambs? A separate post will be online soon regarding the launch of ‘PENTRU COPII’.  Our Feeding Programme also remains in place.

The images used in this blog depict one family “home” on our Feeding Programme.  I have visited this home with Monika and Neli.

Vaccinations for Covid19 are now available to medical staff, teachers, academic professors and the elderly. Please pray the staff of Emanuel Hospice will have the physical energy, emotional and spiritual resources to interact and support the patients in our care.  No one wants to suffer; no one wants to be in the furnace of fire, the furnace of cancer, but we can go THROUGH the refiner’s fire even though the heat is searing.  Pray the comfort and the presence of the Lord will enter every home as they administer medical aid.  Pray for the team of Casa Grace entering derelict and unsafe homes, delivering food provision, cooked meals to Covid-19 patients.  Pray for the team of Iochebed as they visit Roma villages, riverbanks, ministering to teenagers, young ladies, middle aged and elderly ladies gripped by despair and desolation.

People differ in personality, standards, what makes us smile, yet for three teenagers there is no laughter only the flames of despair as young lives lie in ashes. FOURTEEN, FIFTEEN, SIXTEEN,

MIRUNA (14) comes from difficult background.  Both parents are alcoholics and she is forced to live in a Social Centre.  She is facing emotional issues and has thoughts of suicide.  

ALEXANDRA (15), has lived a life of destruction; her poor and unacceptable decisions have led her to a life of ruin where she is suffering the cruel consequences of her choices.

ANAMARIA (16), is thirty-two weeks pregnant.  The baby is not securely positioned for birth and a caesarean birth is under consideration.  Anamaria has not been to a physician to undergo the required tests.  Iochebed has been her only involvement where we have secured the finance for scans. 

EMILIA (29), has a little one of twenty-two months.  She gave birth to a baby girl at thirty-three weeks pregnancy.  The baby has not gained weight in the past number of months and is not developing properly. 

Some things in life are ‘priceless’, even things we regard as ‘worthless’, yet they have memory, meaning, and more importantly purpose. Time can be one of those priceless words and yet how quickly we lose track of it.  A life regarded as ‘worthless’ has found ‘purpose’ and all because Ligia took ‘time’ to show love and meaning.  MARIA (74) has only known a life of sadness and rejection, she has many health problems and suffered amputation of both her feet owing to diabetes.  Her family abandoned her leaving her without care, money, food …This lonely elderly lady struggled from day to day depending on the kindness of neighbours to wash, dress, prepare meals and at times to light a small fire to keep her warm. After a fall resulting in Maria spending one night on the floor, Ligia went on a mission and found a place in a Home for abandoned people in Tinca in the County of Bihor.  Maria is very sad as she is feeling forsaken, even though the home she knew in Sofronia was not hers it was still home to her. She has ‘lost’ all her neighbours and feels she belongs to no one and matters to no one.

Continue to pray for ALEX.  Andrei maintains his interest in this family and has invited Alex on many occasions to the Youth Fellowship. He is a shy boy and always finds an excuse not to attend.  Personal contact has been made with Alex’s mother who suffers from a mental disorder.  Her partner is a controlling and abusive alcoholic.  Alex strives to be accepted and is studies hard to obtain an education – remember Alex.

Isaiah 28:28 ‘Bread corn is bruised’.  Samuel Rutherford wrote: Be content; ye are the wheat growing in our Lord’s field; and, if wheat, ye must go under our Lord’s threshing instrument on His barn floor, and through His sieve; and through His will be bruised, as was the Prince of your salvation (Isaiah 53: 10) that ye may be found good bread in your Lord’s house’

Please re-read the February blog ‘Invisible’ to be reminded of the names we must bring before the Lord:  Alex Toma, Kevin, Dora, Geta, Christian …….  Our path may not take us ‘THROUGH’ to Beulah but even the roughest road will end at the top of the hill.  Will you continue to walk with me?  

Shirley, 

Monday, March 29, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Newtownabbey, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ

Invisible

‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart’.  (Jeremiah 29: 11 – 13).

Unknown; Forgotten; Ignored; Lost; Invisible!  Challenging words that have somewhat perplexed my mind. Unwanted and unloved, roots of poverty where bewilderment and anger are the seeds sown. Emotionally damaged, their pain is concealed by living a somewhat different lifestyle, yet deep within their troubled spirit, a small seed has produced a small shoot of hope.  Hoping if someone will ever care, ever show love, ever give the greatest gift of all – ‘Time’.  They have feelings and long to be ‘free’ from the chains of hardship and misfortune. These children of adversity harbour seeds of guilt that question ‘Why must we be cast aside?’  Will someone ever care that they are slaves of their circumstances? We cannot measure a person’s worth by background or reputation. These are of no importance when entering this very different world. They need to know that God’s love has no boundaries and offers hope to those who live in the forgotten world of ‘Invisible’ people.   I admit I am a ‘shrinking violet’, I much prefer to serve ‘behind the scenes’; yet so many of these ‘Invisible’ lives have entered my life unknowingly and without warning.   Faces of hungry children, wrinkled and weary worn faces of the elderly, the longing look of those nearing the end of life and in my heart of hearts, it hurts, the pain is real and I miss my time with them.  ‘El Roi’ is His name ‘The God Who Sees Me’, the God who can reach the ‘Invisible’ through you, through me.  We are partners in the gospel and with a humble heart I invite you to travel the rugged road with me to those who have lost their past and cannot find a future. 

‘I then shall live as one who’s learned compassion
I’ve been so loved, that I’ll risk loving too
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges;
I’ll dare to see another’s point of view
And when relationships demand commitment
Then I’ll be there to care and follow through’.
(David Phelps/Gloria L Gaither).

My journey begins travelling the scenic route from Oradea to the distant village of Salacea.  Many villages are hidden behind lofty mountain areas with high towering trees hiding tiny village homes surrounded with barren fields.  Hundreds of ‘Invisible’ hungry souls survive, hungering for food from a bountiful supply. They can feast at the table of life but we must ‘tell them’, ‘show them’ we care.  A small village home made from mud and straw is Mariana’s palace.  Married as a young teenager, Mariana worked with her own hands raising her children and with no notable skills, provided with a resilient determination, a better life.  Severely damaged by the travails of life, her mission now is fighting to live as mother to her seven children.  Mariana has now commenced treatment and I await results of her six biopsies from the Oncologist.  Each day she will commute to the hospital in Oradea which will involve a five-hour car journey and one hour treatment. There are no beds available owing to the increase in Covid-19 cases. Since the death of her young husband, the tragedy of losing her family home, plus her current illness, life is meaningless; yet with endurance and unwavering courage she displays the true heart of a mother.   Young people from the local Pentecostal Church chopped firewood ensuring the children were warm throughout the freezing conditions.   Our needs never go unnoticed, He is the God who sees, saying: ‘Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’ (Matt 11: 28).

Not only our words can speak to the ‘Invisible’; our acts of kindness can speak louder.   In my own ‘quiet time’ this morning I was overwhelmed as I embraced God’s divine appointments in placing Physician, Nurse, Counsellor within Emanuel Hospice, Casa Grace and Iochebed. Here is compassion in distress, sympathy in loss, those taking time to reason the mysteries of life. In these times of crisis, it is difficult to provide food and minimum hygiene.  I think of the mothers who love their children so much, at times, the price is too high. For many, things haven’t changed; life remains unpredictable as they struggle from one day to the next.  The pandemic has brought redundancy to the Centre, owing to demand, therapy may have two children in a normal one to one session.  Although under pressure, my friend Dora welcomed two new additions into her therapy class, two tiny babies (down syndrome) whose mothers were deeply distressed.  Distraught and tangled lives who lack communication come seeking assurance.  It takes ‘time’ to care.

Casa Grace is indeed a House of Grace, ministering daily to needy families.  Disillusioned and broken lives come knowing they will find there a listening ear and an outstretched hand of welcome. They have no other choice as no one cares.   A young mother with a little boy and girl has been on kidney dialysis for ten years. Doctors have changed medication, but still her condition is deteriorating.  Her husband is unable to work as he cares for his wife twenty-four hours each day. Their living conditions are extremely poor and depending only on a small state allowance, they live a meagrely existence; resources are scarce and food is a luxury.  This is only one example of those on our Feeding Programme.  If no one else will care, we do.

COSMIN a young man, who called Marilena asking if he could come to the office.  Ten years ago a lady from a small village area came to Casa Grace asking for help.  She was alone and without resources to raise her then young family.  The seed was sown, now the seeds are coming to life. Cosmin came, sharing his memories of summer camps, how they impacted his young life.  He felt loved, accepted.  He is now attending a local church.  Pray for his ongoing growth. And all because someone made ‘Time’ for him.

SERGIU, a young teenager living with his mother in the home of his grandmother and uncle. His uncle is an alcoholic and his grandmother displays an unpleasant and resentful manner, making them feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.   Sergiu’s mother has a handicap and is disabled. Since they are without income as she is unable to work, each day is a constant struggle. Sergiu is not receiving any encouragement or example living in these conditions. He feels he does not count and as a teenager he is trying to find answers.  Someone to have ‘Time’ was all he needed today.

DENISA, whose ambition is to achieve excellence this school year, is trying to support her family.  Her brother’s baby will have heart surgery next week. She is very young yet feels the responsibility. Her request was for one thing!  ‘Time’.  Will you give one moment of your time to pray for Denisa as she witnesses to the family.

These three young lives live life in the margins of confusion where hand grenades of disaster throw them into a lost world.  The power of fear is real.  Please give your ‘Time’ to pray for the firm foundations, seeds sown by our army of soldiers who are constantly fighting on the battlefield of life.

The title of this blog may seem strange to some, yet the word ‘Invisible’ dominated my thinking like a bolt of lightning  Tradition, culture, abandonment, identity, penetrated deeply for lost lives, lives breathing their last breath alone. The reality hit home this morning as I received my daily update from my dear Estera.  Tears streamed down my cheeks as I read TWENTY-SEVEN precious lives have died in the care of Emanuel Hospice.  I am overwhelmed with emotion, as twenty-seven homes are bereft of a beloved son, husband, father, daughter, wife, mother, a tiny baby whose little hands will reach out no more, the laughter of a toddler taking first steps. Only time will heal the crushing blow of separation 
KEVIN: Recent biopsy results confirm the tumour is not malignant at this moment. Encouraging news for Gabi who still mourns the loss of her young husband.  However, Kevin will be closely monitored as there is a risk it may become malignant. Kevin is unable to have surgery to remove the tumour as there is a high-risk element that he could either lose his arm or the formation of a blood clot which would cause excessive damaging effects. 

RALUCA (6) diagnosed with ewing sarcoma. Owing to the ongoing pandemic, she has been in total isolation as her immune system is very low.  Attending any hospital would place her young life at risk.

LUCI, TIMOTEI, FLORIN, DAVID, DIANA, SIMONA, MAGDELINA, CATALINA, JOHN & ELIZABETH – you are not forgotten.  We love you.

ALEX TOMA is back in a hospital in Oradea. He requires a feeding tube as well as the cannula for the Tracheostomy.  His sister Cosmina will marry in May. This will add pressure to the family as she is the main caregiver for Alex. Sister Toma will be overwhelmed as she suffers from depression. Alex is dearly loved by his family.

CHRISTIAN (45) Pancreatic cancer, died on Friday.  He leaves behind his teenage son, Sebastian, whom Christian has been raising since he was three years of age.  Sebastian’s mother remarried many years ago and lives in Belgium.  It is hoped he will move to Belgium.

GETA (48) Uterus and breast cancer with multiple bone (including skull) metastases, has a difficult time in tolerating chemotherapy.  Andrew, her teenage son of seventeen is her main carer, a sensible boy and a loving son who treasures his mum.

DORINA (55) EDITH (50) both fighting lung cancer.  These ladies are in the terminal phase of cancer and are leaving behind children who are still very young adults.  Dorina and Edith listened intensely to the story of the Cross told with sincerity and love by our amazing home care team.  They have asked the Lord to forgive their sins and have an inner peace within.

DORA (44) Breast cancer with brain metastasis has been hearing impaired since childhood.  Her tumour is very aggressive.  She is an atheist and displays outbursts of anger.  Please pray for her salvation.

I was challenged as I read the final paragraph from my friend Daria’s report:  I quote: ‘May God give each patient his grace and salvation!  May we meet again on Heaven’s shore’.  Pray for the safety and protection of the Emanuel Hospice Team as they treat their patients, entering homes where Covid-19 is present.  The value of life, the value of a soul!  May we with courage and endurance accept the challenge that lost lives can be found in Christ.   Our mission is to point souls the way of the cross.

Life’s difficulties come to many doorsteps in Suceava. Young girls questioning ‘Why Me?’ as they outline their story of abuse and collision. 

SORINA (22) came with a little one hiding behind mummy. Her tears were filled with fear as she explained she was thirteen weeks pregnant and similar complications were arising that had led to a miscarriage some months earlier. Iochebed arranged and financed the required scans.   Tears of fear were replaced with tears of joy as she was able to see her baby developing normally.  It is suspected she was originally carrying twins; one did not survive.  

OLIMPIA (35) with nine children, is seventeen weeks pregnant with her tenth child.  Ongoing symptoms gave cause for concern. An Echocardiogram arranged by Iochebed confirmed she has suffered a heart attack; her pregnancy is now at risk as may be her life.

PETRONELA (34) has five children.  She is twenty-seven weeks pregnant and it is now been confirmed she has Hepatitis B.  There is urgent need for a caesarean section and the baby must be vaccinated to fight Hepatitis B.  At present no hospital has the required vaccine.  

In my January ‘blog’ I wrote: ‘One pair of shoes will change ten frozen little toes into ten cosy little toes’.  Theresponse was overwhelming, God touched the hearts of His children, many tiny feet are happy feet today.  Thank You.

SOFRONIA

The warmth of a cup of hot tea is my ‘breakfast’ purely by choice.  Perhaps the aroma of freshly toasted bread, the taste of free-range eggs boiled, poached or scrambled, grilled bacon, porridge, hot coffee… choices.  Yet for one elderly lady, choice was not an option. The sound of silence is her morning cuppa.   Ligia, the young wife of my adopted son, Andrei, had occasion to call with this lady from the orthodox church.  She has had both legs amputated and suffers from many illnesses.  She has no one to care for her and lives alone in an isolated village.   There is no apparent family connection and contact from neighbours is non-existent.  ‘I just want someone to care for me’ is the longing of her lonely heart.  No one demonstrates concern or displays acts of kindness.   Her days are filled with lonely hours and in trying to survive yet another day, she fell, resulting in spending the entire night on the floor. How could this precious lady lift her frail body back into bed.  She suffered many wounds and bruises as she also suffers from diabetes.   As I share with you, my heart is melted.  The world of emptiness is her dwelling.  Ligia was asked to call with this lady and is at present pursuing a placement within a Care Home for the elderly for a period of convalesce. No food, no drink, lying on a cold floor in the darkness, hungry, thirsty.  We can feed a hungry world not only with our monthly provision but with the Bread of Life.  Ligia has a mission field of her own. 

Pray for Andrei, the Lord is blessing his ministry with increasing numbers attending his village church.  Andrei is young, yet providing rich green pastures for straying sheep.  Remember him that the Lord will give him wisdom in all decisions and counselling.  At present he is pastoring three village churches.   ‘The Farm’ is of special interest to me, a place housing many Roma families, a place where they wrestle with perplexing questions, a place without the gospel, a place that is now a Mission Field ready for plough.

Another heart rendering summation of stories of real people.  Human lives crippled by the raging war life has thrown their way, people whose lives are in a state of emotional ruin. But, and again another Shirley ‘But’, God is still God, the God of the universe. How do I feel? What is my goal in 2021?  To love with reality, honesty, to feed a hungry world with the Bread of Life.  Come, walk with me; let us walk together.

Shirley.

The Lamp of Life

‘You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven’. (Matthew 5: 14 – 16).

January, the beginning of a new year.  What lies ahead?  These opening words from Jesus have vigorously stirred my thoughts, why?  There are those whose life is much darker than mine and it hurts so much each month as I shut myself away in my study to ‘try’, yes, I say ‘try’, to place my heart on paper. Operative words such as light, hidden, shine, impact my heart telling me the lamp of my life must shine.  As I chat with my colleagues throughout Romania, one thing is clear, we do choose where and when to shine the Lamp of our Life. It must shine when needed; perhaps it will be required in the unpleasant areas of life, places the ‘nobodies’ of life call home.    The Lamp of our life must shine into hopeless circumstances.   Abraham Lincoln said during the Civil War: ‘I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.  My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for the day’.  A still and silent darkness fills the air in villages where ‘lost lives’ struggle, where young girls face the fear of unwanted pregnancies.  I have known, I have seen indescribable pain, suffering and loss, yet how poorly the world measures loss.  Cruel consequences wound deeply, leaving ugly scars of reality.  Yet, there are those who suffer in silence, behind a closed door.   I recall one occasion, entering the home of an elderly gentleman. As I knelt beside him on the unkept floor, he clasped my hand tightly and smiled; for one moment in time, he was a ‘someone’ not a mere ‘nobody’.   I was not in a preferred surrounding, indeed one rather different, yet it was one of the most humbling and life changing experiences ever known.  As I left, he lifted the one and only egg gracing his empty cupboard, offering it to me as a ‘thank you’.  There are no words?   ‘Let your light so shine before men …’  As I pondered these verses it spoke to me of my personal responsibility, my character rather than my works.  Mum used to sing ‘Let the lower lights be burning, send a gleam across the wave……’  I can hear her say ‘Shirley, always be sure your lamp is trimmed and burning’.My reply: ‘Mum, really’.  Methinks my reply would be somewhat different today.

Twenty-one days into the year 2021, the lives of seven children have changed forever. The mountains are rough and steep, not for the faint hearted and certainly not for children.  It is a journey of unending pain and tragedy which will affect their formative years. There are no beautiful trees or towering cedars in the small village, home to Vasile (4), Valentina (6), Remus (8), Sorin (10), Gabriela (11), Mariana (13) and Marian (16) Their Mum, Mariana (38) has undergone surgery resulting in many complications.  She is in urgent need of blood transfusions if she is to survive.  The villagers have placed an urgent request on a web page for blood supplies. We really do not know the impact of such pain, we have all we need and more. Tell Romania have supported this family with food, hygiene, household items, clothes and backpacks since the death of their father, after battling cancer.  Their village home burned to the ground; now their one and only priceless possession, Mum, is very sick.  How can I enter into the thoughts of these precious darlings, my heart breaks as I think of them wandering through the village?  Are they hungry, are they cold?  Who will care?    Amy Carmichael wrote: ‘There is nothing so kindling as to see the soul of a man or woman follow right over the edge of the usual into the untracked land – for love of Him, sheer love of Him.’ The words of Jesus speak to me when he said, ‘Whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain’ (Matt 5: 41).

Sister Toma accompanied by one of her daughters has taken her little boy Alex to Tirgu Mures.  Alex has been in a coma for four years following a car accident; his body, muscles are wasting away.  Although exhausted and fearful, Sister Toma maintains her constant trust in the Lord for the future days.  The long journey was difficult for Alex, his temperature remains at an alarming level, he needs our prayers.

Single fathers, single mothers, without home, possessions, food, forced to live in the original Orphanage now a State Social Centre for outcasts, families at risk, where sadly cooking is not permitted.   Two examples of families there are registered on our two-year Casa Grace Feeding Programme: 

A father with a young daughter (6).  The little girl is very sick, the father must remain at home to care for her.  Without an income or salary, there are no resources for rental accommodation, food, clothing, so they are forced to live in the State Social Centre. The Covid-19 pandemic has brought a now familiar famine to many lives.  Unemployment, food shortage, price Increases … the famine in these lives is real and many go hungry.  I thank the Lord for enabling Tell Romania to feed the hungry, care for the dying.  Our well will never run dry while the Spirit of the Living God continues to flow through His children, offering ‘just a cup of water’ from his plentiful supply.

A mother of three young children, two girls aged ten and six, one son of four years old.  They too are forced to live in the State Social Centre.  The mother is unable to work as she must care for her children.  The father has spent all the income on alcohol and his gambling habit.  He is unemployed and therefore unable to pay child support.  During 2019 a fourth child was born, sadly the little one died, aged four months.

Fathers, Mothers, Elderly, the Young come with faltering steps reaching out of the depths of their helplessness. They have no one; they have no place to run; they are imprisoned within the walls of the circumstances of life.  They are the ‘nobodies’ of this world; they come to Casa out of utter desperation, knowing they will not be turned away.  They feel accepted but more importantly, they know we care.  Thank you for caring, thank you for shining your light before men.

The Vocational Training Room continues to grow from strength to strength with many on our waiting list.  My dear friend Berta wrote, sharing with me regarding a young lady who was one of our students.  A young single mother who after the witness and gospel outreach shared during our Coffee Break decided to keep her baby.  She made a special visit to Dana and Berta introducing her new baby boy.  Ladies come from far and near villages. The State is impressed by the modules set and achieved – we serve a God of excellence.

An email from Sisters Neli and Mari received just now is worth sharing: Sister Shirley, thank you very much, because of your support we can help these families and accept new ones. Thank you for the money for food specifically and for your prayers for these families. Thank you to all your friends who are involved in this ministry. Please pray specifically for them in order to be saved and to know God personally. Please pray for them to be protected from evil and not to have power over them.  May God bless you and reward you for your love with which you love these people. Thank you from our hearts. We miss you. We miss your smile.

It takes courage for a fifteen-year-old Roma girl who has been blown by fierce winds and battered by the cruel seas of life, as her mother left the family home and she never knew her father.  Ana-Maria cares for her brothers but is still a child herself.  Ana-Maria came to Iochebed where it was confirmed (after tests), she was pregnant. In her distress she considered adoption.  On December 3rd, she gave birth to a baby boy; once she saw those amazing dark eyes, she could not part with him.  This week she came to the centre sobbing and pleading for help.  The baby in her arms was frozen, the Romanian snow is deep and icy cold.  From your donations we were able to purchase wood, food, pampers and hygiene products for the baby. Ana-Maria has learned the important from the really important through the wise counselling of Gabi and the team from Iochebed.  Her precious gift of life makes her mornings a brighter day.

Aura (23) is married with a six-month-old baby girl; she came in shock at the unexpected news she is pregnant again.  We thank the Lord she is willing to keep the baby but needs strength and our support in this decision.

Alexandra (18) who has a eight month old baby boy, is pregnant again.  Alexandra is a young teenager filled with fear; she has miscarried on two previous occasions.  A sickly young girl who due to required medications, will need strength to go full term in her pregnancy to enable her to give birth to a healthy baby.

The snows in Suceava are fierce and deep. Often children walk miles in search of food, firewood. Gabi has informed me many children have no shoes, especially little ones from four to seven years of age. One pair of shoes will change ten frozen little toes into ten cosy little toes.  Will you fund one pair of shoes?

Even in the midst of my packed schedule, at times there comes a moment of calm.  In the midst of such a day, a surprise telephone call from my adopted son, Andrei, warmed my troubled heart.  It was good to hear his voice as he shared the ongoing ministry in Sofronia where he has the responsibility of three village churches.  My heart is thankful as I monitor his progress but more importantly, his passion.  I watched Andrei mature during his five years in Emanuel University. Together with his wife Ligia, this young couple are trying to bring springs of water into dry lands, dry and barren lands where they need the gospel.  I want to be involved in reaching these precious people who live without identity.  One family has torn at my heart strings:  Irina is the mother of Alex (17) a very introverted, shy boy who is trying to ‘survive’ in the midst of turmoil.  His mother has mental disabilities and lives with a man (without the all-important identity papers) who does not work and is abusive in temperament, continually fighting with his drinking companions.  Alex is forced to live in these conditions and I am burdened to help him.  My precious Ligia is taking Irina to a Psychiatrist, having duly completing all the documents required, to show love and to show ‘someone cares enough to show it’. Sofronia has been heavy on my heart and I feel compelled by love to share this great need with you.  The shoeboxes from Monkstown B.C. were such a blessing and an inroad to many homes closed to the gospel.  Please remember Irina and Alex; all children need to be loved; will you love Alex?  Will you show him you care?

Rev. F.B. Meyer penned: ‘Oh, for grace to wait and watch with God’.  We all have felt the winds of change, the premature striking blows Covid-19 has brought to our ‘new’ world which is a world crumbling beneath us as never before. As Hamilton and I embrace the expansion and challenge of Tell Romania, we ask for grace to wait and watch with God for the year before us. This is my prayer for my colleagues who care for the terminally ill, feed the hungry, entering homes where Covid-19 is an unwelcome visitor.  I ask you to pray that the teams will turn grief into blessing, pain into balm.  They are overtired, exhausted, still they serve without complaint, without concern for their own safety.  Their foresight is their force!  

November and December in Emanuel Hospice are months of deep sadness.  The team serve in the midst of suffering, offering comfort and hope to many who are hurting.  This year, there are many young patients who are dying, leaving behind young children.

Ingrid (43) suffering from a brain tumour died, leaving behind a beautiful young daughter Mercedes, aged seventeen.

Alin, (37) suffering from a Melanoma, died, leaving behind a sweet little boy aged five, named Rares.

Lulia (41) died from Uterine Cancer.

Two young teenagers Andrei (17) and Diana (13) face life alone.  Their precious mum, Ramona, (45) suffering from breast cancer, died on Boxing Day after battling cancer for so long. The team struggled to keep Ramona alive as the children wanted one last Christmas with mum. 

Christian (44) suffering from advanced Pancreatic Cancer also died at Christmas, leaving behind a fifteen-year-old son.

At present another young mother is on the waiting list.  Her sixteen-year-old son is her main carer who faithfully and lovingly changes her dressings daily.

Children left without a Mum, Dad.  Who will care? Or will they be just another ‘Nobody’?  

Kevin has had a CT scan in Timisora.  His mother (Gabi) is waiting for a consultation with the oncologist regarding pending surgery. Gabi and Kevin are finding life without Robi very difficult.  Gabi is in deep sadness and Kevin is totally withdrawn. Robi and Kevin sang together; now Kevin misses those special days with his dad.

Little Lancu (9) diagnosed with Spastic Tetraparesis.  His elderly grandmother is exhausted taking care of him.  Pray for this dear lady as there is no family support at all.  Lancu requires twenty-four-hour care.

My dear Elizabeth will travel to Cluj for further investigations.  Her husband (John) is very weak and sensitive regarding Elizabeth’s cancer.  They are a very precious couple who love the Lord. 

2020 brought a personal realisation of the preciousness of life.   Yet, how quickly it can be taken. Things we treasure or thought mattered are only things.  We all want to be remembered, to leave a lasting impact that will touch and transform lives.  At times our love may be unseen; yet love is a priceless gift each one possesses.  Normally the word ‘inheritance’ is linked to personal possessions; but another word even more precious is the word, ‘legacy’.  My dear friend Ruth’s husband was promoted to Glory on 21 January, 2020.  A sudden and unexpected parting.  Michael was a quiet, unassuming gentleman with a contagious smile.  In his own quiet manner, he displayed a reverence for God’s Word which formed the pattern of his own personal walk with God.  In memory of a devoted husband and loving father, Ruth and her son Ryan have gifted the work of Tell Romania in recognition of Michael’s memory. He was skilled in technology and in his memory the gift will be used accordingly.

What legacy will we leave behind? Will we be remembered for a Servant’s Heart; Obedience; Faith; Love; Understanding; a Listening Ear; a Forgiving Spirit; a love that is sincere and real? 

‘Strengthen yourself in the Omnipotence of God. Do not say, ‘Is God able?”  Say, rather, “God is able.”’  (Andrew Murray)

Shirley, January 21, 2021

42B Bernice Road, Co. Antrim. BT36 4QZ.

Email: msemoore1@gmail.com